#145 - Power of Gratitude in Business & Life | David Meltzer on The Necessary Entrepreneur

0:00 My mantra became, am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am worthy. My job every day is just to figure out what I'm doing to interfere with it when I start interfering with it, my mind, body, and soul will be on fire. My mom taught me a valuable lesson. When you're on fire, you gotta stop, you gotta drop, and you gotta rule.

0:45 Alright you all today's guest is built lost and rebuilt empires. uh David Meltzer is a speaker, author, entrepreneur who's helped scale everything from sports marketing to startups. David, welcome to the necessary entrepreneur. I am blessed to be here in my mission of helping people to make a lot of money, help a lot of people and have a lot of fun. So thank you so much for the opportunity. So helping people make a lot of money. Wow. Let's just get right into that. Why is that important? Why is that one of the three metrics? You know, so funny, it's the first metric, by the way, and I do get into trouble with people that don't understand the infinite loop of giving. You see, there's a mathematical equation that people don't realize, especially in economics, and it's if you give more money than you receive, you're going to end up with zero money.

1:34 And I grew up with the most generous, kind mom. You know I'm a 57-year-old mama's boy. who texts his mom, she's passed away three months ago. I text my mom every day to remind her uh the best advice I could give people every day. But for me, she never realized that if she gave away all her money and didn't receive more money back, that she was gonna end up with zero and then incapable of helping other people economically, including her children, by the way, who she cared so much about. And so I teach people to give more money. so they can identify what they're given.

2:14 You see, the more you give, the more you're given, which leads you to the more you receive. But if you don't feel uh worthy of receiving it, if you feel guilty, resentful, offended, separate, inferior, superior, no, it's okay, I feel bad. No, no, no, not for me. My capability is to teach you to articulate the value to exceed what you're asking for, but receive more money than you're giving out. so that you have more money, so you give more, be given more, receive more, and ask for more than more. Why? So you can give more than more, be given more than more, receive more than more, and ask for more than more than more. You see, when I'm 80 years old, like my mom, when she passed away, I'm gonna have more than enough money for everyone.

3:01 What does being a mama's boy mean to you? You know, have to we have to provide context in this world, but I'd like to agree and say yeah, I am too. But what's that mean to you? Well, first of all, emotionally, if you think about your mom and you're not tearing up, then you're not a mama's boy. uh I will tell you that for me, a mama's boy is someone who walks the walk to align with the empowerment that your mom has given. I was never taught anything from my mom because I didn't listen to her. But I caught everything from my mom by watching her, watching her uh sacrifice, invest in her children, her community and women's lib, all the things that nobody saw.

3:52 And people disrespected her because she didn't understand money. uh But for me, only God, only God sits above my mom. That's a mama's boy. And I actually, uh my relationship with my mom is relative to my faith because my God is bigger, bigger than my mom loves me more than my mom protects me more than my mom promotes me more than my mom and knows everything. Uh, and other than my mom, there's God. Where did this realization and ownership and the sense of gratitude that seems like the underlying purpose of your wife and you've realized it's like David's unlock that you're trying to teach these billion people.

4:39 Yeah, and it's simple to do. You know, it takes 0.1 seconds to say thank you. It's also free. And if you say it before you go to bed and when you wake up, your whole life will change. If you can do it every day for 30 straight day, it'll have an exponential impact that everyone on earth I've ever met from the billionaires, millionaires, entrepreneurs, celebrities, athletes, and entertainers at the highest level will tell you how important this gratitude thing is. And it's so simple to do. But the simple things to do are simple not to do. And that's why I'm annoying about gratitude. I'm repetitive and honest to people about being grateful, about having the power to find the light, the love and the lessons, to find the light, the love and the lessons in everything and everyone.

5:24 And so for me, my mom from a very young age made gratitude a requirement. If I came downstairs and wasn't full of gracious attitude, she would make me go upstairs and change my attitude. My mom forced me to say thank you before I went to bed. Forced me, imagine being a 17 year old coming home drunk from a party and your mom walking by your bedroom and saying, did you say your prayers? Right? That's being caught. Did I roll my eyes? Oh, absolutely. Did I swear under my breath? Absolutely. But did I start down the list of things I was grateful for right afterwards?

6:09 Absolutely. You see, when my kids roll their eyes at me, I actually say thank you and they roll their eyes at me a lot because I'm annoying. I'm repetitive and honest with my kids. That's how they learn. But I have defined rolling your eyes as I say, my son's 15. He rolls his eyes when I say certain things and I say, thank you. He's like, why are you thanking me? I said, because I just, saw you, you listened to what I said and you planted it. It's a seed in a tree I may never sit under, but you planted it in your mind. And so I don't take offense to you rolling your eyes because I know you've acknowledged me and that seed has been planted.

6:52 And someday I, you, will grow a tree from that seed. Boy, to be a fly on the wall in those conversations, because I imagine you saying this all the time with them and you getting joy out of it, um you're right. There's some moment they're really going to appreciate it, but that you're showing up in their lives, well, I don't know if they understand the benefit now, but they sure will soon. I'm so blessed to have a 26 and a 24 year old because there's three stages of being a parent and you may be in a certain stage yourself, but the first stage is idolization, right? You can't do anything wrong. The next stage, especially with teenage girls is called demonization.

7:35 You can't do anything right. You don't know anything. And then around 22, they start to move into the humanization phase. And they continue that humanization. And so to be able to have a 26 year old who is moving into a deep humanization phase with their parents to acknowledge some of the seats that they rolled their eyes with. And they see, remember I tell my kids every day, I text them, call them, or tell them in person, I love you. I'm proud of you. And I always have your back.

8:15 I promise you, if you tell your kids every day, that's all they want to know about. They want to know that you love them unconditionally, that you're proud of them for doing their best, learning lessons and having fun. That's what I'm proud of them for. And I always have their back. They can tell me anything and I live in forgiveness, but I got their back and I'm a powerful human being behind them. that goes in line with recently out on some of your socials, like it might've been Instagram. You posted a reel, your team posted a reel and it said the best advice or the piece of advice. And I think, you know, the experts in the world, know, top 10 speakers like you are, so many people say, Hey, well, they ask a question that doesn't offer context.

9:01 And you put it out and said, here's the best piece of advice. And I think it was you saying to call your parents and to let them know you're happy, you're healthy, you love them and you appreciate them. So since that's the best piece of advice you have for everyone, why is that the best piece of advice? Well, number one, it's applicable to everybody because everybody has a parent or two. So that's the first thing, right? So advice that can be given to anyone on earth. And they'll say, well, my mom and dad had passed. My mom and dad passed, but I text my mom every day. I love you. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I love you and appreciate you forever.

9:42 And why it's applicable not only to everyone, but Also the best advice because it's applicable to everyone because it's the most impactful because in the acknowledgement that I am happy, I am healthy, I love my parents and I appreciate them, meaning I add value to their life, which means I am living my life aligned with what they have taught me or in the best divine direction. from learning from what they've taught me that wasn't correct. When I say taught or caught, my mom, by watching her, I learned so much of how to live my life.

10:26 By watching my dad, I learned how not to live my life. Both equally valuable, by the way. One much more painful than the other, but as far as my success, fulfillment, passion, purpose, and profitability, equal value. What to do and what not to do. equal value. And I am happy because of it. I am healthy because of it. I'm wealthy. I appreciate them. And literally, these things are all your parents want to know my mom used to make me prove to her that I was happy, healthy, that I loved her and appreciated her. And when you know, I started doing this 18 years ago before she passed, man, she never made me drive down an hour to fix a screen door anymore.

11:11 You know that that drove me nuts. I'm like, why do I have to go down there? I'm a terrible handyman. I is an hour away each time. And I realized because she wanted to see is my son happy, healthy? Does he love me and appreciate me? So I'm going to give him this proof. This acts and it all did was waste my time in hers when all I had to do is call her, text her every day and let her know I'm happy. I'm healthy. I love you and appreciate you. That's so powerful. Hey, thanks for tuning in. If you like these types of conversations, be sure to follow the necessary entrepreneur on your favorite platform so you never miss out on future content. In the seasons of your life, the biggest struggles that you've had, you've told the stories, so many questions asked.

11:57 Did you learn a new evolution of this gratitude principle from that 17 year old kid and your mom's telling you even you're coming home drunk? Did you learn a new gratitude because Those are probably some of the toughest moments to feel like there's gratitude for the world and massive struggle. Yeah, so what was so interesting in this gratitude practice, as I lived in three different worlds, and gratitude played a role in each of the three worlds. First world, world of not enough. Everything was happening to me, not enough, just a scarce world. Six kids, single mom who worked two jobs, packed my dinner in a paper bag between being a second grade teacher and filling up turnstiles with greeting cards at convenience stores.

12:42 But I was grateful. within the context of not having enough. Then I lived in the world of just enough for me, right? Made over a hundred million dollars, buying shit I didn't need to impress people I didn't like, but still gratitude played a role. I would, you know, give money away, be grateful for everything I had, but it was still just enough for me. And then after losing everything over a hundred million dollars, including my mom's house, which was Literally the only reason I wanted to be rich was to give her financial security, a place to live, a car. I lost her house in my bankruptcy. I moved into a world of more than enough that we stated earlier, more than enough of everything for everyone.

13:29 And gratitude became the foundational principle along with forgiveness, accountability, and effective communication. And it was my wife who took a stand. to tell me you better take stock in who you were and what you want to become because you're going to end up dead. Even though I was grateful and making gratitude that stakeholder to remind myself because that's what I needed. It was forced upon me in the world of not enough. It was a luxury in the world of just enough, but now it took on a preeminent prioritization of my life.

14:12 And What it brought in these evolution of not enough, just enough, and more than enough was that throughout the journey, it is gratitude when there's no evidence or the evidence is contrary to where you wanna be or better. It is gratitude that allows you to find the light, the love, and the lessons. And in the context of the ambiguity of light, love, and lessons is two things that you really find. You find the wisdom, and the faith to continue to pursue your potential. Even though there's no evidence or the evidence is contrary to where you think you want to be.

14:53 So when I lost everything, including my mom's house, over a hundred million dollars, my wife was leaving me. I literally no evidence at all that I was going to be where I wanted to be or better. It was gratitude. searching every day for what I wanted, not what other people thought, not what was missing, not what I didn't have, but what I wanted and putting my intention as chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute, we both know how important the definiteness of purpose and intention is, but I put my intention every day, what I did, said, think, feel, and believe towards what I wanted or better and forgot about what other people thought, what was missing, what I didn't have.

15:38 And that's what got me to where I wanted to be or better. Was that the hardest part coming to terms with this ego, the good and the bad parts of it maybe through that? You know, it was interesting because I created a lot of research around the ego. And here's what I came up with. and it played an integral role. As you suggest, I realized that shit was going to happen. I realized I never really know what I'm afraid of. There's millions of past lives. There's womb trauma, toddler, infant, teen, tween, twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties trauma. And I've spent millions of dollars in personal development and therapy. trying to figure out what I'm afraid of.

16:19 If I just would have realized when I'm afraid, the ego protects me by reacting to fear. So I'm afraid the ego reacts to protect me. So now I have a need to be right and need to be offended and need to be separate and need to be inferior, superior, anxious, frustrated, angry, guilty, worried. And here's the interesting thing without paying millions of dollars to figure out what I'm afraid of. The reaction that the ego creates to protect us from that fear is instant and obvious. You don't need to pay anybody to know when you're pissed off or worried or resent. You don't need to pay anybody.

16:59 You know immediately. So I started to focus in on how do I shorten the distance of resistance created by the reaction of fear? How do I shorten the distance through wisdom and faith, gratitude, empathy, accountability, and effective communication? to shorten the distance of resistance between me and I am an infinite, abundant, unified system of thought, an omniscient, all powerful, all knowing that loves me, protects me, promotes me, perfects me more than my mom. How can I do that? And so what I realized in my research is that I could focus in on the instant and obvious, and then instead of resisting it, Instead of going over it, under it, through it, around it, lying to it, manipulating it, cheating it, denying it.

17:52 There was one action, one action of free will that solved the problem and it's stopping. So when my mind, body and soul was on fire, which was easy to recognize, no therapy or personal development gurus needed. When my mind, body and soul was on fire, I just stopped. and I breathe through my nose and out through my mouth and I drop to center. Why? So I could remind myself, remember myself, recollect myself with my God, my source, the omniscient, all powerful, all knowing. So my mantra became, I am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am worthy.

18:39 My job every day is just to figure out. what I'm doing to interfere with it. And when I started interfering with it, my mind, body and soul will be on fire. My mom taught me a valuable lesson. When you're on fire, you got to stop, you got to drop and you got to roll. And I roll right into my divine direction to get back onto track, to maximize the gift of the 24 hours I'm given every day. Thank you for sharing this. mean, I think coming on and hearing about your mom and the inspiration is just awesome. So we have another, we have a minute left over here. So I thank you for that, but we have to talk about the intentionality now about this new book coming out in February. and I love the title.

19:20 We didn't talk about it yet but what's the intentionality around not doing business with dicks? Yeah, so I wrote a book called Don't Do Business with Dicks because it encompasses that interference. So many of us surround ourselves with the wrong people, the wrong ideas, the wrong events, the wrong situations. We don't look at the relativity of all of those things, the associations we create with all those things and the feeding that we receive from these things, even if it bleeds us. So if you're a dad, Your kids may bleed you, but it's the best feeding in your life. As your parents get older, they're bleeding you all the time, but it's the best feeding.

20:06 And so I've written a book about 12 different ways to make sure that we're not doing business with dicks and to identify the interfering energies, the response to the reactions, the fear. uh And we started a pre-order pre-launch. on my wife's birthday, the beginning of the NFL football season. And we will launch the book with Simon and Schuster, every store, retail store, every online capability on Superbowl. And so we will build a campaign. This is one of the first interviews where I've gotten to talk about it, because since yesterday was the pre-order pre-launch.

20:47 But if anyone out there would like to pre-order the book, not only would I be grateful for that, but I will send you for free my other book. I'll pay for the book, pay for shipping and send that immediately to you for pre-ordering the book. Just email me david at dmelter.com. Awesome. Hey, we got to get you going. You're on the big tour and all the places you have to be. So thank you for giving us uh these few minutes today and sharing the inspiration of your mom and the, and this journey and story. Thank you so much. do it again. And I look forward to meeting you in person. Thank you for helping me uh meet my mission of empowering over a billion people to make a lot of money, help a lot of people and have a lot of fun.

21:30 I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you.