#137 - The Hero's Journey: Living With Intention featuring Jon Giganti

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For me, that's what with intention is.

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How do you start your day?

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How do you win the day?

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it is, maybe it sounds selfish, but no, it's fill yourself up, spend time on yourself so
that you can serve others.

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It's both, it's a growth mindset and a service mindset.

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For me, it's non-negotiable.

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They're very symbiotic.

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Welcome back to the necessary entrepreneur.

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ah I'm pumped about the conversation that we're going to have today.

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So today on this here, we're joined by someone who understands what it means to live life
in the fast lane and what it takes to slow down, refocus and lead with intention.

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John Gigante is a seasoned executive keynote speaker and the author of the powerful book
with intention that I have sitting here beside me.

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He currently leads intentional growth partners and previously spent two decades.

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climbing the ranks in corporate America while quietly fighting the same challenges so many
of us face, burnout, overwhelmed, and lack of clarity.

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In his book and on his podcast, John's real hard earned wisdom about how to shift from
reactive to intentional living, how to master your time, protect your energy, and create

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lasting success that doesn't come at the cost of your health, family, or purpose.

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He's a former college soccer player, a family man, and today,

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ah He's going to talk about how high performers could build businesses and live lives that
actually work.

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Welcome to the party, Thanks, man.

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Yeah, man.

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Thank you.

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I can tell that when you say a beautiful place, I don't usually say this to another very
capable man, but what a beautiful human.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, man.

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We had some good conversation for half hour before we got started.

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It's very cool.

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And I think we're going to go really deep here.

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And we had family conversation.

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We had business conversation.

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We had the travels conversation.

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And so I'm pumped about going deep today.

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Well, I have this book sitting here beside us.

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You wrote it three years ago, but now it's really coming into its own because your new
journey and what you're starting to build.

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it's with intention, a proven path to uncommon results, unleashed influence and ultimate
fulfillment.

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I key on the first part of that, a proven path to uncommon results.

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What's that mean?

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What have you learned about that path to uncommon results through this life and this
journey of being an executive and being in corporate America and now this?

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What have you learned about that part of the statement?

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Yeah, well look, it's all personalized results, success, put it in quotations, it's all
different for everybody, I think.

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But at the end of the day, there is a scoreboard, right?

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We wanna get results.

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So I come from a sales background, come from a sports background, so there is a
scoreboard.

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And I knew when I was in sales, if I had the scoreboard in front of me, ah that was the
vision, that was the target, or in soccer.

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If we knew, we're trying to get to the NCAA tournament or win the national championship,
whatever it was.

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Now the question becomes, how do you get there?

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I think that's the nuanced approach that I've changed through the years.

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Cause I used to be very focused on just give me the end result, man.

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And I'm going to go and rally the troops and go get it.

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That comes at a cost sometimes.

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And I learned the hard way, but the good way.

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wouldn't change a thing on the journey, but it's a, yeah.

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mean, but at the end of the day, this is something I think

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Some people mistake today that results still matter.

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You still want to win.

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You still want to close the deal.

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You still want to grow the business.

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Capitalism still matters.

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It's a good thing if you do it the right way.

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So sometimes there's these big questions and I don't want to be so generic and so cliche,
but if the journey was important, even though was really hard, but you'd like to help

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people do it maybe in a, better way or more efficient way.

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Um, and it's still essential.

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you, if you went back and told your 25 and 30 and 35 year old self along the journey,
that's how these are written, right?

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These books are written.

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These stories are told in podcasts, how we could do it better, but what would you have
done better?

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Like not about regret and all that, but what would you have done?

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better because I think the outcome here in your forties, it's a pretty good outcome, man.

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If we're talking about scoreboard, right?

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And you're a guy who's going to be probably, you you're humble, you're nice, you have a
lot more you're going to accomplish, but the journey has been important.

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So what would you have really done different?

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Because isn't the outcome good?

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That's the crazy thing in all this.

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I don't know if I would change a thing of the journey even though it's been hard.

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And we talked before this about some personal things as well in my family.

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And I don't know if I'd change that journey too.

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Our kids have to go through hard stuff.

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We uh struggle sometimes as parents where we wanna sugarcoat everything and not let our
kids fail.

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Well, that's where they learn.

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That's where they get better.

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So it's the same thing.

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I honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.

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uh

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So what's important though is, this is what's funny.

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We don't want to be operating our lives.

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This is the new argument.

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We don't want to be operating our lives based upon the results or the outcome or the
scoreboard.

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at the end of the day, I'm going to make a statement and you're not a guy who's
argumentative, but I want some pushback.

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want some conversation, but isn't that what matters?

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Because I just heard you talk about your family right here.

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And so

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Everyone has struggle coming up and there's no person or individual or family that's
perfect.

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The struggle is acceptable and necessary to develop resilience as long as the outcome is
okay.

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Yeah, Yeah, no, there's no pushback.

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You want a beautiful family.

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You want to fulfill.

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That's why the third piece of with intention is fulfillment, right?

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So it's results, influence, and fulfillment.

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But you got to do it the right way or else it comes at a deep, deep cost.

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So I had a ton of success as a youth athlete, a ton of success.

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I was very fortunate.

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I had loving parents.

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very academically, did really well, a lot of hard work.

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There was a big bogey.

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I got paid for good grades, right?

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My grandpa would give me 10 or 20 bucks and it was always great job, John.

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I didn't know any different then.

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It was almost actually this affirmation thing where was like, you start to crave that.

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And actually as a kid when I was super fortunate to get a Division I scholarship to
Bowling Green, played on some great teams there and all amazing players.

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I was one of many.

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But as you can imagine growing up, you're pretty much the best player on

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every field you play on and everybody tells you how great you are.

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So from the time of like three years old on, I was being told, my gosh, you're so gifted.

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You're so amazing.

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And you start, start to crave that a bit.

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And where the challenge becomes is when you get into an environment where everybody's
great and you're no longer the alpha male.

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That was hard for me to be honest.

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It was really hard because it's like, my gosh, I got it.

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I got to fight for everything.

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And I was good.

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played a lot my freshman year, earned a starting job my sophomore year, but I got very
inconsistent.

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And there's a, we're happy to go into the backstory because there's a backstory to it.

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Then we'll come back to this thing in the business world.

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Let's do it.

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I think it's important.

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And we talked a little bit about this when we first met, which by the way, you and your
team, the experience, I think about like a Ritz-Carlton experience.

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know, their whole thing is when we first meet you and when we leave here, we're going to
wow you.

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Thank you.

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You guys were amazing.

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Okay, so dad comes over at six years old from Sicily, Italy with his family.

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Late 40s, moves into an attic in Cleveland, Ohio with two other families.

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He lives in an unfinished attic, him and his two brothers and parents.

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My grandpa is the elevator operator at the terminal tower.

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You come over, it's the American dream, you make ends meet.

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It's this very blue collar mindset.

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It's a beautiful thing in a lot of ways.

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Dad was the first person to go to college in the 60s.

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I actually went to Bowling Green where I wrestled there.

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Mom actually went there as well.

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I think they met somewhere else, but my mom was a few years behind.

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Also the first person to go to college.

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And so I'm the youngest.

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I've got two older brothers.

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Both my brothers were college athletes.

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My oldest brother, all American at Walsh University, soccer player.

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My middle brother played football at Baldwin Walls.

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So my dad was a college wrestling coach growing up.

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So sports were like...

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part of, I mean on Sundays my dad would take us to his college to go run the mile at the
track at the college.

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Everything, like we're getting timed, I'm seven, eight years old getting timed in the
mile.

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It's so funny because my dad would go to make long distance phone calls because it was
free back in the 80s, right?

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That's to date a little bit.

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uh Loving family but very high performing.

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My dad, he also owned a grocery store, an Italian imported food

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grocery store called a Leshe's up in Cleveland with his brother.

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And so he was around for all my games.

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really was.

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My mom stayed at home.

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She was a school teacher as well, two educators.

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uh But I came home from school one time in fifth grade and my mom sat me down and said,
John, your dad is in the hospital.

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He's had a nervous breakdown and he's gonna be gone for a little bit.

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And I don't know what that means.

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I'm in fifth grade again, living this idyllic childhood.

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uh

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So we go to visit him, we come home.

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I remember going into the guidance counselor's office in school in fifth grade and she
says, John, how you doing?

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heard about what's going on with your family.

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I didn't know, I just swept out.

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I'm like, I'm great.

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What are you talking about?

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Straight A's, soccer, I played every sport growing up.

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Everything was good.

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And it really was.

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I didn't think anything of it.

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It didn't register for me at 12 years old.

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Dad comes home a couple of weeks later.

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Family pretty much sweeps it.

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We really didn't talk about it, at least to my recollection.

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didn't talk about it much.

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No, not at all.

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so, uh parent, Italian, know, hard driving family, parents fought a lot.

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And money was always a concern in the family.

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was always a thing.

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But uh I go away to college, again, at Bowling Green.

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I come home in between my freshman, sophomore year.

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My brothers are out doing their own thing.

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So I'm staying at home.

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uh

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My parents get in a big fight and their, again, relationship wasn't in a great place.

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My dad comes home from work.

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There was something around food was, my mom, I was working a landscaping job training for
soccer.

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I think I ate all the chicken tenders or something.

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So my dad came home and he was pissed off.

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They get in this big fight.

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I'll never forget.

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My mom rips off up a $20 bill.

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That was kind of her allowance, whatever for the day or the week, I forget.

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But my dad goes out.

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into the garage and he grabs a baseball bat and he comes back in and we never swore in our
family.

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It was not the thing we would do and I remember for the first time.

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I had some choice words for him.

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Put the bat down, I, you know, maybe an F word in there too.

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Like it screamed at the top of my lungs.

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was the first I get a little emotional talking about it.

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um Thankfully I was there and I grabbed the bat.

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I got my mom out of the house and my dad put the bats down.

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He hugs me and he's crying.

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First time I ever saw my dad cry.

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And I just said, it's going to be okay.

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Mom leaves, never comes back.

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I mean, they got divorced after that.

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It was a long time coming.

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And um so the summer goes on, I go back to college and I remember thinking, my parents are
grieving.

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I don't have the right to grieve.

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And I remember going back to school, you you just grind it out.

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I'm getting in shape.

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didn't, I was doing fine.

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I actually won a starting job, was MVP of one of our

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early tournaments, I was doing well.

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Sophomore all started well.

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But there was a moment in preseason, we had to do this thing called the Cooper Test, which
is you have to run two miles in 12 minutes.

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So back to back six minute miles.

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No joke.

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It's miserable.

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It's crazy.

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Even in great shape, great cardio shape.

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That's no joke.

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The first mile, you can get it done.

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You can get it done.

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But then, man, that's second mile.

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Because you overextended yourself to make sure you hit under six minutes.

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And then it gets really hard.

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I mean, first lap, your legs are burned.

231
00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:55,965
And it's all in the head.

232
00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:58,638
You just gotta grind through it for 12 minutes.

233
00:12:59,119 --> 00:13:01,120
But for the first, I used to run in about 11 minutes.

234
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,840
So I was a midfielder, I could run all day.

235
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,202
So five and a half minute miles back to back.

236
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,983
And now, by the way, these kids do it in like 10 minutes.

237
00:13:07,983 --> 00:13:09,924
It's crazy how great a shape they're.

238
00:13:09,924 --> 00:13:11,985
Anyway, for the first time, I didn't make it.

239
00:13:11,985 --> 00:13:14,530
I I bonked out my head.

240
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:15,430
just couldn't keep up.

241
00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:17,590
couldn't push away the resistance a little bit.

242
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:19,201
So it was the first time I felt myself cracking.

243
00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:22,952
But here's the lesson here, the messages.

244
00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:26,513
never went to my teammates, I never went to my coaches and said, guys, I'm struggling.

245
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:28,894
I didn't feel like I could grieve.

246
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:33,375
And I became a very inconsistent player on the field.

247
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:44,338
So what happens when, least in my experience, was how I handled all that was I numb the
pain in the game, training.

248
00:13:44,526 --> 00:13:49,046
drinking too much, a little bit of drug use, girls, all this stuff.

249
00:13:49,046 --> 00:13:52,726
You figure out these outlets to just get away from it.

250
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:59,166
And because my identity was in a soccer ball, man, I dreamt to play pro ball.

251
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:00,666
And it was there for the taking.

252
00:14:00,666 --> 00:14:07,026
I mean, I had probably 10 of my teammates that played professionally, either MLS or it was
called the A-League at the time.

253
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:12,366
So anyway, the next three years, I was up and down.

254
00:14:12,366 --> 00:14:13,550
If I had a good touch,

255
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,230
to start a game, I may have a great game.

256
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:19,090
And if I had a bad touch, I'm in my head going, you suck, you can't, you don't belong, all
this.

257
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:24,030
And it just became this inconsistency to the point where I could barely cross a soccer
ball.

258
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:31,350
got into a game in the Sweet 16, my senior year, were playing at Indiana, which it's

259
00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:34,821
UNC Indiana, right?

260
00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:36,069
Is UNC up there?

261
00:14:36,069 --> 00:14:36,670
is good.

262
00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:38,263
They've won a couple titles.

263
00:14:38,405 --> 00:14:39,427
the tradition of Indiana.

264
00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:42,914
Indiana is like the Ohio State or Alabama of...

265
00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:45,423
Yeah, exactly.

266
00:14:45,423 --> 00:14:47,065
So you play at Indiana.

267
00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:48,857
It's like playing at the horseshoe at Ohio.

268
00:14:48,857 --> 00:14:49,998
I mean, it's pretty intimidating.

269
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:51,580
You almost lose the game before you get in there.

270
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:52,931
But we've beaten them a couple of times.

271
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,033
We were top 15 in the country.

272
00:14:55,202 --> 00:14:59,202
Actually, your coach down here, Pat Noonan, is an Indiana guy.

273
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,310
And Caleb Porter in New England's an Indian.

274
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:03,081
So these guys are all over the place.

275
00:15:03,342 --> 00:15:06,508
So it was, it's the, it's it.

276
00:15:06,508 --> 00:15:08,189
It's the top of the pyramid.

277
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:13,696
So I get into the game uh late in the game, so I lost my starting job at this point.

278
00:15:13,696 --> 00:15:15,187
We're down one nothing.

279
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:16,428
And we got a shot though.

280
00:15:16,428 --> 00:15:17,529
We're in it.

281
00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:20,331
And I get the ball pretty soon after I get in.

282
00:15:20,872 --> 00:15:24,914
And I was a left midfielder, so my job was to cross the ball over.

283
00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:27,386
I've done this 25,000 times.

284
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:30,248
That's how I got recruited, because I could do this in my sleep.

285
00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:31,469
and put it right on somebody's foot.

286
00:15:31,469 --> 00:15:33,052
I mean, right.

287
00:15:33,052 --> 00:15:34,070
Right where it's supposed to

288
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,190
because you don't even think about it.

289
00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:42,130
But I got to be such a head case that I literally got to the point where I could barely
execute a cross.

290
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:48,310
And so I get the ball, I cross it, and the thing floats up and no chance to get to my
teammate.

291
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:49,290
And the goalkeeper gets it.

292
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:52,090
They come down and score within a minute.

293
00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:53,430
And they put two more in us.

294
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,290
They beat us 4-0.

295
00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:56,150
That was the end of my college soccer career.

296
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,630
And I had a couple of pro tryouts.

297
00:15:57,630 --> 00:16:00,898
But at that point in time, I didn't have the.

298
00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:03,079
the mindset to make it at that level.

299
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:09,743
So you go through that journey and you realize that, all right, I'm a failure.

300
00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:12,184
At least that's how I thought of myself.

301
00:16:12,184 --> 00:16:18,998
uh But look through, and this is another important point of the story, and I just wanna be
very upfront.

302
00:16:18,998 --> 00:16:27,303
And as I told you, I'd like to think of myself as an open book, but on my 21st birthday
before my senior year, I'd sought some counseling.

303
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:29,684
So I went to a school counselor, got some help.

304
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:31,169
Still, I was in hiding.

305
00:16:31,169 --> 00:16:31,739
didn't want to tell.

306
00:16:31,739 --> 00:16:33,089
I was too afraid to show weakness.

307
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:36,642
I didn't want to tell any of my teammates, and I just put on a happy face, whatever.

308
00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:41,045
But on my 21st birthday, I was in a psychiatrist's office, because it got that bad.

309
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:42,531
I was just struggling that bad.

310
00:16:42,531 --> 00:16:47,688
And my dad came over for the visit with the psychiatrist.

311
00:16:48,069 --> 00:16:53,732
And the psychiatrist, within 20 minutes, diagnosed me bipolar.

312
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,874
And that's what my dad had.

313
00:16:55,874 --> 00:16:56,546
And man.

314
00:16:56,546 --> 00:16:57,438
Great, back to

315
00:16:57,438 --> 00:17:03,093
grade, back to fifth grade and mom's calling dad, and look, my dad wasn't a saint.

316
00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:09,038
So there were reasons they would fight, but you know, when you fight, you go to like the
lowest common denominator and she would always.

317
00:17:09,038 --> 00:17:10,778
$20 bills, out and getting a bad.

318
00:17:10,778 --> 00:17:11,758
mean, that's right.

319
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,434
How can I harm this person in the moment?

320
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,715
Hurt people hurt people, right?

321
00:17:15,715 --> 00:17:19,417
So at that moment, it was a death sentence.

322
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:20,318
Are you kidding me?

323
00:17:20,318 --> 00:17:25,581
Like you're giving me this diagnosis.

324
00:17:26,122 --> 00:17:31,326
So I took some medication, got on some medication and I lied to everybody.

325
00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:33,087
said, I'm just getting in shape for my senior year.

326
00:17:33,087 --> 00:17:35,408
So I'd go out and drink Diet Cokes at the bars and whatever.

327
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:36,301
I did get in great shape.

328
00:17:36,301 --> 00:17:38,062
I did actually earned a starting job my senior year.

329
00:17:38,062 --> 00:17:39,701
I just couldn't keep it up.

330
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:44,074
But that was the start of this hiding of like,

331
00:17:44,074 --> 00:17:48,299
actually having the awareness to it, but not doing anything about it.

332
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,775
And it took me a long time.

333
00:17:51,775 --> 00:17:57,053
took me many, 17 therapists later actually to figure this out.

334
00:17:57,053 --> 00:18:01,026
And it's still a work in progress, but I, and I don't always share that.

335
00:18:01,026 --> 00:18:03,248
So what's here's I appreciate you sharing it.

336
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:16,597
because here's my question is is that you going through this journey you spent a lot of
time with it What percentage of people let's just take our country 350 million people Plus

337
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:20,479
or minus a couple How many of those?

338
00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:29,926
Do you think struggle whether it's diagnosed bipolar whether it's anxiety its depression
when I'm not smart enough to know the different categories of those I put them all

339
00:18:29,926 --> 00:18:30,380
together

340
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,493
Yeah, I probably shouldn't, but I do.

341
00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:37,779
um How many people do you believe struggle?

342
00:18:38,921 --> 00:18:40,212
Some form of the.

343
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:47,370
yeah, I think there are the diagnosed stuff that's, that's, you know, whatever level it
is, and that's all arbitrary.

344
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:54,530
Who knows if it was the right diagnosis or anybody like, you never know these guys,
doctors, they know a lot, but they're all experimenting, right?

345
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:59,436
But I'd say probably 25 to 30 % have something very substantial.

346
00:18:59,436 --> 00:19:00,496
I wouldn't be surprised by that number.

347
00:19:00,496 --> 00:19:01,644
I was wondering if it was going to be little bit higher.

348
00:19:01,644 --> 00:19:02,955
I think it's higher, actually.

349
00:19:02,955 --> 00:19:10,042
think there's probably 50 to 60 that deal with some type of trauma or deep levels of
anxiety.

350
00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:12,838
So we're gonna get into a ton of the like the business stuff and write the book.

351
00:19:12,838 --> 00:19:19,362
We're gonna talk about this, but what was the unlock for you to get to this moment today?

352
00:19:19,362 --> 00:19:23,585
Yeah, well, okay, so a little bit more of the story is I get into the business world.

353
00:19:23,585 --> 00:19:25,387
I'm really good at putting on a happy face.

354
00:19:25,387 --> 00:19:26,387
I'm a connector, man.

355
00:19:26,387 --> 00:19:28,639
People like I love locker rooms.

356
00:19:28,639 --> 00:19:29,730
I love teammates.

357
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:32,422
first 15 minutes we had today was a great interaction.

358
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,154
And I'm like, yeah, that's who John is in the world.

359
00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:35,535
Yeah.

360
00:19:35,535 --> 00:19:45,443
And that guy, that, that a person who is the form of you that you are, it's not about
selling anything.

361
00:19:45,443 --> 00:19:50,386
You interact with other human beings and whatever you're selling, they will buy.

362
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:51,828
It's just human connection.

363
00:19:51,828 --> 00:19:52,868
Right.

364
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:59,934
but maybe that's been created out of the struggle of this thing.

365
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:01,251
Maybe so.

366
00:20:01,251 --> 00:20:02,988
Maybe you poured into other people.

367
00:20:02,988 --> 00:20:13,396
Yeah, probably something to that, Yes, because, I think part of it being the youngest in
that family environment, I always got very good at defusing the conflict.

368
00:20:13,396 --> 00:20:15,907
I was very good at if there's a fight going on.

369
00:20:15,907 --> 00:20:18,750
My dad, my middle brother, my dad used to fight all the time.

370
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:26,365
And I got pretty good at cracking the joke at the right time or whispering in someone's
ear or pulling someone or whatever.

371
00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:27,976
And I was the same way as a teammate.

372
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,299
I became the same thing in business with client, whatever.

373
00:20:30,299 --> 00:20:33,334
So I said, Hey, was, what's the unlock for doing?

374
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:34,268
You were getting ready to go.

375
00:20:34,268 --> 00:20:35,442
we jump into business.

376
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:44,104
so about 10 years into my career, I got promoted early, somewhat labeled the rising star.

377
00:20:45,045 --> 00:20:50,066
I thought I had all my stuff together and realized pretty quickly I didn't.

378
00:20:50,186 --> 00:20:52,107
I started having panic attacks speaking.

379
00:20:52,107 --> 00:20:55,278
So for a salesperson, not a good thing.

380
00:20:55,278 --> 00:20:58,099
And by the way, freshman year, St.

381
00:20:58,099 --> 00:21:01,169
Ed's in Cleveland, I was the speech champion freshman year.

382
00:21:01,169 --> 00:21:03,385
you, I got the skills.

383
00:21:03,385 --> 00:21:06,576
the charisma, you've got the skills, you have the intelligence.

384
00:21:06,757 --> 00:21:17,922
You are created and you have built yourself to be very successful in that arena and you
and you wake up and even at 32 years old, you're going through it again.

385
00:21:17,922 --> 00:21:18,378
Yeah.

386
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:22,392
so part of the story is I didn't work that hard at it.

387
00:21:22,392 --> 00:21:28,716
When you're identified in ninth grade, I remember I had an English teacher say, yeah, I
think you can be the first four time champion we ever have.

388
00:21:28,937 --> 00:21:37,504
And by the way, that freshman year, I would wake up with my mom every morning, 5.30 to rep
out the speech, tonality, inflection, pause.

389
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:41,547
I mean, I crushed it and it was, that's why I won it.

390
00:21:42,508 --> 00:21:45,026
My sophomore year, I finished third, I didn't work as hard.

391
00:21:45,026 --> 00:21:47,567
So I kind of had this mindset of like, I'm a great speaker, man.

392
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:48,858
I don't need to really work at this.

393
00:21:48,858 --> 00:21:55,210
Even I remember taking a college class and kind of showing up with my chest out a little
bit and like, I got this, I'm a speech champion.

394
00:21:55,211 --> 00:21:56,541
It's funny how this works, right?

395
00:21:56,541 --> 00:22:01,053
And so fast forward 10 years and I can't get up and give a presentation.

396
00:22:01,173 --> 00:22:04,535
So I am literally in the back of rooms.

397
00:22:04,535 --> 00:22:07,396
If I go into a business meeting, I'm trying to find a place to hide.

398
00:22:07,396 --> 00:22:10,297
That's not, that's not a good place to be.

399
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:11,498
So I give a talk.

400
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,150
uh

401
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:16,413
not a talk, we had to give a presentation in Chicago at our sales kickoff meeting.

402
00:22:16,674 --> 00:22:20,777
Very simple presentation about uh your book of business.

403
00:22:20,794 --> 00:22:23,339
You already, you understood the content.

404
00:22:23,339 --> 00:22:23,867
Yeah.

405
00:22:23,867 --> 00:22:25,427
Completely from beginning to.

406
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:29,489
I'm an individual contributing rep at this point and it's easy.

407
00:22:30,331 --> 00:22:37,657
And I had a therapist at the time I was seeing, again, not open about this with anybody,
maybe my wife, but no one else.

408
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:40,579
Therapist said, look, if you have one of these, just fake a headache.

409
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,091
And so that's what I did.

410
00:22:42,091 --> 00:22:49,567
Like I'm literally presenting and I've had it a couple other times where I was able to get
through it in recent years, but at this time I faked a headache.

411
00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:51,469
go upstairs to my hotel room.

412
00:22:51,469 --> 00:22:52,369
Very embarrassing.

413
00:22:52,369 --> 00:22:53,422
go to, I ended up.

414
00:22:53,422 --> 00:22:54,622
sleeping for a couple hours.

415
00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:55,762
go to the sales kickoff dinner.

416
00:22:55,762 --> 00:22:56,842
Obviously, everybody's concerned.

417
00:22:56,842 --> 00:22:59,942
I still never share like, guys, I had a panic attack.

418
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,742
It was, you know, had.

419
00:23:03,244 --> 00:23:06,022
Take us through the best you can articulate it.

420
00:23:07,028 --> 00:23:07,579
What is it?

421
00:23:07,579 --> 00:23:08,520
Yeah.

422
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:20,968
So for me, uh I feel my arms start to tingle a little bit and it gets, I get hot and my
neck kind of gets a little, it almost feels swollen.

423
00:23:21,369 --> 00:23:29,394
And then it's almost like an outer, out of body experience where I'm, I'm almost thinking
about my thoughts, if that makes sense.

424
00:23:29,394 --> 00:23:32,186
Like I'm watching it and I'm sitting there going, don't lose it.

425
00:23:32,186 --> 00:23:32,686
Don't lose it.

426
00:23:32,686 --> 00:23:33,117
Don't lose.

427
00:23:33,117 --> 00:23:35,368
Like it's a fire signal going.

428
00:23:35,726 --> 00:23:46,366
And then all of sudden you're overthinking so much and then not that you black out, at
least for me, but it becomes this pressure point where you just, I mean, I couldn't talk.

429
00:23:47,486 --> 00:23:49,406
Yes, it's overthinking.

430
00:23:49,406 --> 00:23:50,926
It's, it's in the body too.

431
00:23:50,926 --> 00:23:59,626
mean, there's, and here's my, my learning through all of it is, and there's an incredible
book called the body keeps a score, which is all about trauma.

432
00:23:59,626 --> 00:24:01,624
And all those years I, I,

433
00:24:01,624 --> 00:24:06,097
correlated to this, you we take out the trash today's trash day up in Columbus for my
family.

434
00:24:06,097 --> 00:24:07,828
So we got to take the trash out.

435
00:24:07,828 --> 00:24:10,177
And if you don't do that, it gets all stinky and smelly.

436
00:24:10,177 --> 00:24:11,201
It's the same thing as humans.

437
00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:12,151
If we don't take out our trash.

438
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:20,727
So for many, starting in fifth grade, all the way to this point, I never really, I mean, I
did a little bit to go see some therapists and maybe a little medication, but I was, as I

439
00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:24,510
said, I was running from this diagnosis and I was, I was scared.

440
00:24:24,510 --> 00:24:30,786
And so, um, it eventually got to the point where I couldn't, I couldn't fake it anymore,
but

441
00:24:30,786 --> 00:24:32,307
the best thing that ever happened to me.

442
00:24:32,307 --> 00:24:33,007
Because you know what I did?

443
00:24:33,007 --> 00:24:34,939
It's so funny because this is the way this works.

444
00:24:34,939 --> 00:24:37,630
You brought up Toastmasters before we started recording.

445
00:24:38,171 --> 00:24:39,792
So you've seen Top Gun.

446
00:24:39,792 --> 00:24:44,605
So the first Top Gun, Goose dies, and Maverick doesn't want to fly anymore.

447
00:24:44,605 --> 00:24:48,217
And the guys come in and say, we got to get him back up in the air again.

448
00:24:48,217 --> 00:24:49,102
As soon as possible.

449
00:24:49,102 --> 00:24:50,198
We got to get him flying.

450
00:24:50,198 --> 00:24:51,889
For some reason, I had that in my head.

451
00:24:51,889 --> 00:24:54,321
I got to get back.

452
00:24:54,321 --> 00:24:55,021
I got to go.

453
00:24:55,021 --> 00:24:56,552
I got to figure this out.

454
00:24:56,992 --> 00:25:01,395
And so I started going to Toastmasters every Thursday morning for two, I went for two
years straight.

455
00:25:01,395 --> 00:25:10,230
I remember the first one, very nervous, got through it and just eventually rebuilt my
speaking skills with intention.

456
00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:15,443
No, no pun intended because that's really the books book talks about that story and that
pride.

457
00:25:15,443 --> 00:25:19,175
I've built this framework about how do you go from current state to future state?

458
00:25:19,175 --> 00:25:23,714
uh So a lot of blood, sweat and tears figuring it out and

459
00:25:23,714 --> 00:25:24,935
Frankly, doing it scared.

460
00:25:24,935 --> 00:25:33,742
I started with anybody that would ask me to speak, whether it was a high school sports
team or I worked on a charity board where they asked me to MC a golf event.

461
00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:35,244
And I would just say, yes, let's do it.

462
00:25:35,244 --> 00:25:36,515
And I just would figure it out.

463
00:25:36,515 --> 00:25:42,069
And I prepare a lot differently than I used to, by the way, because I know that I've got
this.

464
00:25:42,069 --> 00:25:43,640
And there's still a little bit of scar tissue.

465
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,702
I I speak on some pretty big stages now.

466
00:25:45,702 --> 00:25:49,575
And there's moments of, crap, could this happen again?

467
00:25:49,575 --> 00:25:51,717
But I feel once I get up there, I'm good.

468
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:52,920
And again, I do.

469
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:53,954
Do the prep to.

470
00:25:53,954 --> 00:25:55,990
think this ties back to...

471
00:25:57,952 --> 00:26:12,268
very high level of expectation about performance of life back to your dad taking you to
running track and preparing that to make sure that you're enough and the worry and the

472
00:26:12,268 --> 00:26:19,020
concern like what if I'm not good what if I'm not enough sure what if today I show up and
it doesn't hit is that where this

473
00:26:19,406 --> 00:26:20,477
well check this out.

474
00:26:20,477 --> 00:26:25,298
here's, here's, this is a beautiful thing, but also a crazy thing.

475
00:26:25,298 --> 00:26:30,889
My family moved my junior year of high school just for me to play soccer at a different
high school.

476
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:40,242
So the top high school team in the country or in the state, Brexville high school, uh
after my sophomore year, I played club ball with some of the other players.

477
00:26:40,242 --> 00:26:45,134
And my dad said, here's how much I think of, we're going to move so you can go, we won two
state championships.

478
00:26:45,134 --> 00:26:46,354
So I moved to.

479
00:26:46,402 --> 00:26:49,236
I had to live with my aunt for six months because we couldn't sell her house.

480
00:26:49,236 --> 00:26:50,517
My mom and I live with my aunt.

481
00:26:50,517 --> 00:26:53,942
Got investigated by the athletics, so everything, because everybody's pissed off in
Cleveland.

482
00:26:53,942 --> 00:26:55,062
Like, wait a second.

483
00:26:55,338 --> 00:26:56,987
How's the world's he playing over here?

484
00:26:56,987 --> 00:26:58,946
The team you left is pissed.

485
00:26:58,946 --> 00:27:00,321
They're all, everybody's pissed.

486
00:27:00,321 --> 00:27:00,652
right.

487
00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:05,101
And so we go and win state title my junior year and again my senior year.

488
00:27:05,484 --> 00:27:08,056
And then I go to college with three of my teammates.

489
00:27:08,056 --> 00:27:13,509
So massive, your dad looks at you and says, we're moving our family because we believe in
you so much.

490
00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:16,206
So there is massive expectation tied to that.

491
00:27:16,206 --> 00:27:20,106
which comes from a good play, course.

492
00:27:20,106 --> 00:27:23,226
But yes, so for me as a kid, yes, absolutely.

493
00:27:23,546 --> 00:27:26,826
So all of a sudden you're struggling in college to even get on the field.

494
00:27:27,066 --> 00:27:32,626
I mean, my mom didn't even show up for my last game of my senior year, because she was so
pissed off that I wasn't playing.

495
00:27:33,006 --> 00:27:35,286
She didn't know what I was dealing with.

496
00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:39,866
And so here I am like, I'm not even good enough where my parents want to come to the game.

497
00:27:40,246 --> 00:27:43,746
So yes, there was...

498
00:27:43,884 --> 00:27:45,708
And I wouldn't say bad expectations.

499
00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:47,161
They came from a good spot.

500
00:27:47,161 --> 00:27:50,678
And again, immigrant family, you've got to figure it out, make ends meet.

501
00:27:50,678 --> 00:27:52,783
again, that's why I'm so passionate about this now.

502
00:27:52,783 --> 00:27:55,698
At what cost do we chase the results?

503
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,153
but you wouldn't change it.

504
00:28:00,060 --> 00:28:02,145
That's so fascinating, isn't it?

505
00:28:03,788 --> 00:28:07,843
because the only way we'd change it if you could still arrive here without the pain.

506
00:28:07,904 --> 00:28:09,290
But through our experience...

507
00:28:09,290 --> 00:28:11,013
need the pain.

508
00:28:11,676 --> 00:28:12,377
You need the pain.

509
00:28:12,377 --> 00:28:14,500
You've got to...

510
00:28:15,003 --> 00:28:18,872
The pain is where the resilience and the grit is built.

511
00:28:18,872 --> 00:28:20,271
So can we help?

512
00:28:23,386 --> 00:28:26,828
that pain if it's still necessary to go through it?

513
00:28:26,828 --> 00:28:31,750
I don't know you've gone down this path or not, but can we help people as leaders?

514
00:28:31,972 --> 00:28:44,259
Coaches on soccer teams in high schools, in colleges, what can those leaders do to help
ease that without removing the pressure of the moment, without removing the expectation,

515
00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:45,940
without removing the scoreboard?

516
00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,121
Is it even possible?

517
00:28:47,121 --> 00:28:49,132
Am I asking something too big?

518
00:28:49,570 --> 00:28:51,453
Yeah, no, I don't think so.

519
00:28:51,453 --> 00:28:59,002
I think it is a conversation and a dialogue in an environment that's built that
anticipates the pain.

520
00:28:59,124 --> 00:29:00,786
You know the pain's coming.

521
00:29:00,786 --> 00:29:01,707
Let's preload it.

522
00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:04,230
Let's know it's coming so we can do something about it.

523
00:29:04,248 --> 00:29:05,515
Is this some?

524
00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:11,630
The book I'm 46.

525
00:29:12,259 --> 00:29:19,353
The movie, the field of dreams was one of those movies when I was growing up as a kid,
like Rudy was, field of dreams and

526
00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:28,622
There was an author that wrote a book and Kevin Costner has these dreams and they speak to
him.

527
00:29:28,622 --> 00:29:36,724
But I believe that one of the statements that he kept hearing was, ease his pain.

528
00:29:38,626 --> 00:29:46,824
And the whole premise of the whole movie was the relationship that Kevin or Kevin Costner
had or didn't have with his dad.

529
00:29:48,686 --> 00:29:50,266
was the whole premise of the movie.

530
00:29:50,306 --> 00:29:53,166
That he actually got to play catch with him at the end.

531
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:56,026
It said, build it and he will come.

532
00:29:56,246 --> 00:29:59,806
He didn't even know what, who it was that was going to come.

533
00:29:59,806 --> 00:30:06,146
But I've never had completely this thought, but he kept hearing ease his pain.

534
00:30:07,702 --> 00:30:20,262
So they were probably easing each other's pain of some unmet expectation, conversations
that didn't happen between each other to whatever the problems are in life.

535
00:30:20,262 --> 00:30:22,373
It's like, Hey, we can get through this.

536
00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:24,735
Hey man, like it's okay.

537
00:30:24,916 --> 00:30:28,839
Sometimes the decisions we make, the outcomes, we don't have the intent to, but it's okay.

538
00:30:28,839 --> 00:30:30,099
Keep going.

539
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,172
Don't, don't try Wes hard, but

540
00:30:34,230 --> 00:30:34,940
It's okay.

541
00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:38,292
But what they had to come together, and don't think he ever got to know his dad.

542
00:30:38,292 --> 00:30:44,363
And so they had to come together to have some conversation that probably his entire life
he had missed out on.

543
00:30:44,363 --> 00:30:51,740
And I don't think that that's too much different than these unmet expectations that we're
placing on ourselves to look at the scoreboard every day.

544
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,581
And so I'm wondering is ease his pain.

545
00:30:54,802 --> 00:30:56,042
Cause that's what we're talking about doing.

546
00:30:56,042 --> 00:31:00,325
How can we do that for John growing up?

547
00:31:00,345 --> 00:31:01,466
Because here's what's wild.

548
00:31:01,466 --> 00:31:02,646
Your parents.

549
00:31:03,402 --> 00:31:13,405
I bet they probably fought because of similar things, They probably had pain that came
from places that you didn't know.

550
00:31:13,985 --> 00:31:23,838
That most likely they didn't ever sit down with someone and have this open dialogue about
the pain of life, about maybe how their parents are treated to, about how they had come

551
00:31:23,838 --> 00:31:26,949
up, about the expectations and the pressures of life.

552
00:31:27,269 --> 00:31:31,660
And I agree with you, man, that what I try to do

553
00:31:32,438 --> 00:31:36,893
In my early years of leadership, thought it was my job to fix the problems.

554
00:31:39,148 --> 00:31:41,990
My understanding now is it's not my job to fix the problem.

555
00:31:41,990 --> 00:31:50,187
It's actually my job to sit down and have a conversation with the person to not give them
advice necessarily, but to sit down and talk about the thing.

556
00:31:50,187 --> 00:31:51,908
Let's think this out.

557
00:31:52,109 --> 00:31:55,412
Let's, let's project what's going to happen if we continue down this path.

558
00:31:55,412 --> 00:31:57,393
Now, the good thing is you get to decide.

559
00:31:57,393 --> 00:32:07,222
And at the end of the day, we all have these fairs, have these losses, but what can we do
to make this experience a little less painful, but you still know you're going to have to

560
00:32:07,222 --> 00:32:08,212
go through the.

561
00:32:08,834 --> 00:32:09,787
That's where all that came from.

562
00:32:09,787 --> 00:32:11,645
like, hey, you still got to go through the process.

563
00:32:11,645 --> 00:32:14,233
So I'm just wondering if.

564
00:32:16,814 --> 00:32:18,759
Can we ease this?

565
00:32:18,759 --> 00:32:20,683
Because it's painful as hell.

566
00:32:21,146 --> 00:32:22,548
You still feel it.

567
00:32:23,372 --> 00:32:24,614
You do feel it.

568
00:32:25,368 --> 00:32:32,652
Yeah, but I think by acknowledging that there's gonna be pain in the process, doesn't that
ease the process?

569
00:32:32,652 --> 00:32:35,803
Yeah, I think then you're voluntarily accepting the process.

570
00:32:35,803 --> 00:32:36,943
That's what I'm trying to do.

571
00:32:36,943 --> 00:32:40,644
And my role is leadership and the companies operate and the people I engage with.

572
00:32:40,644 --> 00:32:41,865
I've arrived at this place.

573
00:32:41,865 --> 00:32:47,066
I don't know if it's going to be a continued thought, but I've arrived at the place where
I'm just trying to help people to get to a decision.

574
00:32:47,526 --> 00:32:48,426
That's all I'm trying to do.

575
00:32:48,426 --> 00:32:52,607
Like, let's just deal with the transparent, honest truth of whatever the scenario is.

576
00:32:52,607 --> 00:32:56,749
Not saying I like it, not saying you love it, but you raised your hand and you wanted to
do something.

577
00:32:56,749 --> 00:32:57,799
You wanted to play soccer.

578
00:32:57,799 --> 00:32:59,209
You want to be a college athlete.

579
00:32:59,209 --> 00:33:00,370
You wanted this job.

580
00:33:00,370 --> 00:33:02,156
You wanted to accept this promotion.

581
00:33:02,156 --> 00:33:06,069
Let's talk about what the reality of that situation is so you can accept it.

582
00:33:06,069 --> 00:33:09,031
Let's go ahead and make the decision now that we're going to see it through.

583
00:33:09,031 --> 00:33:11,292
But let's talk about these pain points that are going to happen.

584
00:33:11,292 --> 00:33:18,677
So when they do happen, there's not anxiety, there's not depression, and you don't have
decisions to make in the moment.

585
00:33:18,677 --> 00:33:26,763
Because I do think that usually in my life, the only big problems I have is when I have,
it's all around these expectations.

586
00:33:27,343 --> 00:33:31,626
Any moment in my business life that I am not happy,

587
00:33:31,948 --> 00:33:35,300
and I'm not satisfied and I feel like I want to break things.

588
00:33:35,821 --> 00:33:38,522
It's when expectations haven't been met.

589
00:33:39,163 --> 00:33:43,366
My expectation of others or the expectations of myself.

590
00:33:43,627 --> 00:33:48,500
And if I would have had a conversation with myself in the beginning with it or with those
people.

591
00:33:50,978 --> 00:33:52,462
We probably wouldn't have had an issue.

592
00:33:53,715 --> 00:33:55,566
It's the standard, right?

593
00:33:55,566 --> 00:33:58,828
So you think about, for me, that's what leadership is.

594
00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:00,439
You set the standard.

595
00:34:00,879 --> 00:34:08,514
And it's funny because I've had to, uh although I'm not a conflict-driven guy, I've had to
learn in business to embrace conflict.

596
00:34:08,514 --> 00:34:17,399
When done the right way, and I believe if you have the love of the team and the trust and
respect, then you have every right to have these truth and love conversations, right?

597
00:34:17,399 --> 00:34:20,040
So whatever the, I had a sales rep that,

598
00:34:20,174 --> 00:34:26,374
was struggling at one point a couple years ago, I remember talking to him, said, Joe,
you're just not meeting the standard.

599
00:34:26,374 --> 00:34:29,074
Do we least agree on what the standard is?

600
00:34:29,154 --> 00:34:35,594
And once we had that conversation, he respected it, then he knew every other conversation
was either I'm meeting the standard or I'm not.

601
00:34:35,594 --> 00:34:37,354
It became much easier conversation.

602
00:34:37,354 --> 00:34:39,814
And it's like, at some point it becomes their decision.

603
00:34:39,814 --> 00:34:40,494
It's a choice.

604
00:34:40,494 --> 00:34:42,134
It's a choice, the team.

605
00:34:42,134 --> 00:34:48,554
So when you say, I think the word that kept coming to me when you're talking about the
conversations with your team is you're a catalyst.

606
00:34:48,952 --> 00:34:49,693
You're an advisor.

607
00:34:49,693 --> 00:34:54,173
You're there to help guide because you've seen probably so much too.

608
00:34:54,173 --> 00:34:55,665
But you also want them to go through.

609
00:34:55,665 --> 00:34:56,557
That's how they're going to learn.

610
00:34:56,557 --> 00:34:57,580
And they've got to fail.

611
00:34:57,580 --> 00:34:59,030
It's not going to be a perfect process.

612
00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:00,471
how we're all going to get what want.

613
00:35:00,471 --> 00:35:01,051
That's it.

614
00:35:01,051 --> 00:35:07,433
And so I just know in the beginning, if we can set out to your point, standard, clear
expectations of what that is, we all make a choice.

615
00:35:07,433 --> 00:35:17,226
And if at any moment I'm getting, uh I'm getting way better at this and it's evolving
really fast, I'm getting way better at saying, Hey, you don't have to, but this is our

616
00:35:17,226 --> 00:35:19,056
standard and this is what we're going to do.

617
00:35:19,056 --> 00:35:24,036
You don't have to do it for me or for you, but I'm just telling you like for you to do it
here with us, this is what we expect.

618
00:35:24,036 --> 00:35:24,438
Yeah.

619
00:35:24,438 --> 00:35:30,530
And so every day when you come to work and you show up in your buildings, just know like
this is the expectation that we're building towards.

620
00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:38,162
And if at any moment we see the reason why we don't need to have conflict at any moment,
you just need to raise your hand and say, I don't feel like living up to that anymore.

621
00:35:38,162 --> 00:35:42,843
And I'm accepting that more in my life ah all the time from people.

622
00:35:42,843 --> 00:35:44,573
used to be, no, we need to do more.

623
00:35:44,573 --> 00:35:45,824
No, you need to do this.

624
00:35:45,824 --> 00:35:46,114
Nope.

625
00:35:46,114 --> 00:35:53,566
It's like, Hey, listen, I just need you to raise your hand and say, I don't want to
participate in this standard or expectation anymore.

626
00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:54,542
And then.

627
00:35:54,542 --> 00:35:56,942
We all can have amazing relationships with each other.

628
00:35:56,942 --> 00:35:59,202
So that's what I'm trying to work towards personally more and more.

629
00:35:59,202 --> 00:36:00,244
I'm, this is your pod.

630
00:36:00,244 --> 00:36:01,286
No, I love it.

631
00:36:01,286 --> 00:36:03,394
It reminds me of, think it's Zappos.

632
00:36:03,394 --> 00:36:05,271
I don't know if they still have it, but they used to have something.

633
00:36:05,271 --> 00:36:10,789
You go through a training program and they would actually pay you to leave, teach you the
standard.

634
00:36:10,789 --> 00:36:13,593
And if you didn't want to live by it, fine.

635
00:36:13,593 --> 00:36:14,126
uh

636
00:36:14,126 --> 00:36:19,116
Do you think that's the same idea with having uh unlimited vacation and PTO time?

637
00:36:19,116 --> 00:36:21,219
What's the leader in you think about that?

638
00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:23,950
They actually find that more people don't even.

639
00:36:23,950 --> 00:36:24,990
Terrible.

640
00:36:25,031 --> 00:36:27,393
Because I lived it.

641
00:36:27,393 --> 00:36:31,386
had no, I had in the last 10 years of my career, no vacation and PTO.

642
00:36:31,386 --> 00:36:32,297
You're working all the time.

643
00:36:32,297 --> 00:36:33,458
You're on call 24-7.

644
00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:35,770
Now, it's part of the job to a point.

645
00:36:35,770 --> 00:36:45,117
But I used to laugh because I would see leaders that they'd go on vacation, but then they
would be still connected and texting and whatever.

646
00:36:45,117 --> 00:36:45,878
And I get it too.

647
00:36:45,878 --> 00:36:48,510
Like, is business, right?

648
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:50,041
You got to, if there's an emergency.

649
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:53,240
But I would try to, if I took

650
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:57,073
time off, I would tell my team, look, if it's an emergency, reach out.

651
00:36:57,073 --> 00:37:02,457
But I want to model the way for you guys, because when you go on vacation with your
families, I want you to disconnect.

652
00:37:02,457 --> 00:37:04,258
But have a plan.

653
00:37:04,258 --> 00:37:05,209
You got to have a backup plan.

654
00:37:05,209 --> 00:37:06,380
Hey, I'm out.

655
00:37:06,941 --> 00:37:09,683
Put your autoresponder on email, whatever else, voicemail.

656
00:37:09,683 --> 00:37:11,607
Hey, contact this person if you need something.

657
00:37:11,607 --> 00:37:12,695
We get a business to run.

658
00:37:12,695 --> 00:37:15,027
But yeah, I think it's a terrible thing.

659
00:37:15,027 --> 00:37:17,828
uh seems cool on paper.

660
00:37:18,429 --> 00:37:19,445
Do you guys have that?

661
00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:20,307
Well.

662
00:37:24,814 --> 00:37:27,585
I'm going to say something that people aren't supposed to.

663
00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:28,887
Yes and no.

664
00:37:29,632 --> 00:37:30,694
Yes and no.

665
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:35,232
elite performers earn the right to do different.

666
00:37:35,232 --> 00:37:36,943
Yeah, good point.

667
00:37:37,063 --> 00:37:40,766
And maybe I'm saying terrible and that's too demonstrative.

668
00:37:41,567 --> 00:37:46,290
In the right environment, it's fine for the right person and the right team, it's okay.

669
00:37:46,306 --> 00:37:56,445
This is the thing where we could go a bunch of different places, but I'm going to stay on
track for you today to make sure, know, we, but, um, there aren't the same rules for

670
00:37:56,445 --> 00:37:57,246
everyone.

671
00:37:58,647 --> 00:38:01,068
I used to struggle with that, by the way, but you're spot on.

672
00:38:01,068 --> 00:38:01,908
Yes.

673
00:38:01,908 --> 00:38:03,269
Go there.

674
00:38:03,269 --> 00:38:07,350
Everybody on a team's got different mentality, different skill set.

675
00:38:07,350 --> 00:38:08,251
It's like a sports team.

676
00:38:08,251 --> 00:38:09,831
A business team's like a sports team.

677
00:38:09,831 --> 00:38:14,713
The more I do this work, the more I realize how similar they are.

678
00:38:14,713 --> 00:38:22,547
So you look at a soccer team or basketball, any sport, I was a left midfielder, a very
different position than a center midfielder or a center back or a goalie.

679
00:38:22,547 --> 00:38:23,027
Are you kidding me?

680
00:38:23,027 --> 00:38:25,654
The goalies are the craziest people on a soccer

681
00:38:25,654 --> 00:38:28,179
Nor on island earth.

682
00:38:28,179 --> 00:38:29,772
Yell they're so mad at

683
00:38:29,772 --> 00:38:33,273
Argolli in college used to yell at everything to the point where you tuned him out.

684
00:38:33,273 --> 00:38:34,316
It was so terrible.

685
00:38:34,316 --> 00:38:36,930
I've never even played soccer, but I was like, yell at everyone.

686
00:38:36,930 --> 00:38:38,592
can tell everything's everyone else's fault.

687
00:38:38,592 --> 00:38:39,129
Never theirs.

688
00:38:39,129 --> 00:38:39,718
don't know.

689
00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:41,309
I can tell you many stories.

690
00:38:41,309 --> 00:38:45,492
But yes, so you have to treat everybody differently.

691
00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:51,252
Some people have, and you have different levels of performers and people that get results,
and yeah, of course.

692
00:38:51,252 --> 00:39:00,112
the challenge around that because I've heard these things at different through my growth
cycle of a leader it's been like well you're sending me mixed messages and it's like well

693
00:39:00,112 --> 00:39:06,698
I'm not trying to but they might have heard me say something different to someone else in
a different environment well that didn't apply to you

694
00:39:06,998 --> 00:39:09,739
I think it's about the connection.

695
00:39:10,019 --> 00:39:11,810
And I think it's an individual connection.

696
00:39:11,810 --> 00:39:20,483
The best leaders I see have the trust built on a one-to-one basis, where they earn the
right to treat everybody a little bit differently.

697
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:29,007
But in the best situations, the individuals know that and understand, okay, coach or
leader is gonna treat me a little bit differently.

698
00:39:29,007 --> 00:39:33,349
I spent some time last week with a pro soccer team, New England Revolution.

699
00:39:33,349 --> 00:39:35,449
It was fascinating for two days.

700
00:39:37,014 --> 00:39:44,086
I got to spend time with the coaching staff, players, front office, uh medical staff.

701
00:39:44,086 --> 00:39:49,538
And it was such an interesting interaction of communication to me.

702
00:39:49,538 --> 00:39:51,538
It was so basic in a lot of ways.

703
00:39:51,538 --> 00:39:53,419
And this is a high performance organization.

704
00:39:53,419 --> 00:39:56,690
These guys too have won nine straight or nine game on beaten streak.

705
00:39:56,690 --> 00:39:59,160
So they're running on a high, but they want to keep it going.

706
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,191
And they're 10th in the table.

707
00:40:00,191 --> 00:40:01,091
So you talk about results.

708
00:40:01,091 --> 00:40:02,841
They're trying to continue to go.

709
00:40:02,841 --> 00:40:05,656
So just seeing the interaction between

710
00:40:05,656 --> 00:40:07,377
players and coaches, coaches and coaches.

711
00:40:07,377 --> 00:40:16,102
And there was a situation that happened where a player was injured and they were
disappointed because uh the players had an injury history.

712
00:40:16,102 --> 00:40:22,250
And just to see, I observed one of the coaches talking to one person one way and someone
else the other way.

713
00:40:22,250 --> 00:40:26,037
It was really fascinating to me, but it was, it's human behavior.

714
00:40:26,037 --> 00:40:27,108
It's just the way we are.

715
00:40:27,108 --> 00:40:31,941
So I think is for any leader, as you run, you set the standard and the tone for the team.

716
00:40:31,941 --> 00:40:33,721
As long as everybody knows.

717
00:40:34,670 --> 00:40:41,490
I get the challenge with it, because if there's some people, maybe with a scarcity
mindset, that would say, oh, you're treating me different than Johnny.

718
00:40:41,490 --> 00:40:43,370
He's your golden child, whatever.

719
00:40:43,730 --> 00:40:48,437
But that's where you have to go have the conversation with that person and say, let me
tell you why.

720
00:40:48,437 --> 00:40:48,587
it.

721
00:40:48,587 --> 00:40:55,006
And here's the why in which top performers and elite performers accept they've earned
that.

722
00:40:57,176 --> 00:41:04,292
person that's so-called the golden child for some reason, some situation, some scenario,
they earned it.

723
00:41:04,292 --> 00:41:08,736
And so what the person that's asking the question, why are they being treated better and
different?

724
00:41:08,736 --> 00:41:15,180
It's like, well, let's talk about the standard because not only have they probably lived
up to it, they have exceeded it.

725
00:41:15,802 --> 00:41:18,204
And this is the game all of us are playing.

726
00:41:18,204 --> 00:41:20,465
And so this is a standard for our team.

727
00:41:20,465 --> 00:41:26,306
And at any moment that you decide and you choose to do the things that are necessary to
meet that standard.

728
00:41:26,306 --> 00:41:26,712
Yeah.

729
00:41:26,712 --> 00:41:29,044
then you get to make the decision if you want to keep going.

730
00:41:29,044 --> 00:41:30,966
Now you don't have to, you meet the standard.

731
00:41:30,966 --> 00:41:33,027
It's acceptable for you to be on this team.

732
00:41:33,027 --> 00:41:45,858
But if you want to be the person that is the brand that gets the interviews, that gets a
little bit more leeway in the way they live their life, that we don't put as much pressure

733
00:41:45,858 --> 00:41:53,464
that it's, we're not having the more, if you want to be that person that has more power
and more perceived control, you have to exceed the standard.

734
00:41:54,446 --> 00:41:55,266
And

735
00:41:55,624 --> 00:41:58,445
Usually the issue is, see, they're professionals.

736
00:41:58,445 --> 00:42:00,655
They're already elite.

737
00:42:00,655 --> 00:42:01,696
They know that.

738
00:42:01,696 --> 00:42:02,046
Sure.

739
00:42:02,046 --> 00:42:03,736
What I found, and you can push back here.

740
00:42:03,736 --> 00:42:08,374
What I found in just the direct leader that I am, you know, what the standard already is.

741
00:42:08,374 --> 00:42:10,398
You're just not willing to go up to it currently.

742
00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:14,459
So is there a conversation we need to have on why you don't want to go up to this?

743
00:42:14,579 --> 00:42:23,882
You can, can, you can be nicer about it if you want, but that individual, the way that
they were able to achieve being at that level on a professional team at the top tier in

744
00:42:23,882 --> 00:42:24,982
our country.

745
00:42:25,656 --> 00:42:28,872
They already understood what it took and what the assignment was.

746
00:42:28,872 --> 00:42:32,067
For some reason, they're not wanting to maintain and keep up with that.

747
00:42:32,067 --> 00:42:33,070
Am I wrong?

748
00:42:33,070 --> 00:42:38,511
but you'd be surprised at even at that level how much you have to communicate the
standard.

749
00:42:38,532 --> 00:42:40,642
I mean, it's such a consistent thing.

750
00:42:40,642 --> 00:42:49,995
You've gotta come and you've gotta, and I'm not saying it's gotta be on every whiteboard
and everything in every office, and that's not a bad thing, it's, what's the old saying?

751
00:42:49,995 --> 00:42:52,195
Things are caught, not taught.

752
00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:55,566
So it's how you operate on a daily basis, every conversation.

753
00:42:55,566 --> 00:43:02,368
I actually have a sales rep that I led for quite a few years, struggled with emotional
intelligence.

754
00:43:03,086 --> 00:43:08,046
But I noticed right away, he had a couple of the teams he was on, the leaders were done
with him.

755
00:43:08,046 --> 00:43:11,806
And so they gave him to me and said, hey, let's see if you can develop it.

756
00:43:11,966 --> 00:43:15,046
And I did a bunch of work assessment work, 360 work.

757
00:43:15,046 --> 00:43:20,106
I sat in some meetings with him and I saw right away the guy was brilliant.

758
00:43:20,106 --> 00:43:21,206
He was fricking brilliant.

759
00:43:21,206 --> 00:43:22,706
He knew our products better than anybody else.

760
00:43:22,706 --> 00:43:24,126
He could have been a product manager.

761
00:43:24,126 --> 00:43:26,566
mean, brilliant guy.

762
00:43:27,546 --> 00:43:29,406
No one strategy, negotiation, everything.

763
00:43:29,406 --> 00:43:30,744
No one ever told him that.

764
00:43:30,744 --> 00:43:38,660
So here he is thinking he sucked and he's got, his problem was he would get promoted up
the chain and then he'd crap on everybody below him, right?

765
00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:40,792
So it was a duality.

766
00:43:40,792 --> 00:43:43,935
was, hey, let's, your emotional intelligence, we're gonna work on that.

767
00:43:43,935 --> 00:43:45,256
We gotta bring that up.

768
00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:46,867
That's a blind spot right now.

769
00:43:46,867 --> 00:43:49,459
But you're a genius here, so let's live into that.

770
00:43:49,459 --> 00:43:54,373
So it was just, how do we build this up and then how we live into this more?

771
00:43:54,514 --> 00:43:59,800
And this guy's been on an unbelievable trajectory in the last 10 years.

772
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,831
close to getting a pretty big leadership job even.

773
00:44:02,911 --> 00:44:06,072
But here's, I treated him differently.

774
00:44:06,172 --> 00:44:08,652
He still struggled at times with EQ.

775
00:44:08,652 --> 00:44:17,455
There were things he would say and do that he could get away with, but I would pull him
aside and say, look, man, that, you know, what's up level there that I saw that, where

776
00:44:17,455 --> 00:44:18,805
maybe someone else couldn't get away with it.

777
00:44:18,805 --> 00:44:22,976
And there were some times some of the lower, this guy was a very high performer at the
time.

778
00:44:22,976 --> 00:44:27,958
Some lower performing reps would come to me and say, ah, I feel like you give him the best
accounts or whatever else.

779
00:44:27,958 --> 00:44:29,386
And I'm like, look, I know he's-

780
00:44:29,386 --> 00:44:29,949
to close them.

781
00:44:29,949 --> 00:44:31,528
There you go.

782
00:44:31,528 --> 00:44:33,654
trust them, but you can get there too.

783
00:44:33,654 --> 00:44:34,636
Here's how you get there.

784
00:44:34,636 --> 00:44:36,014
And so it's that communication piece.

785
00:44:36,014 --> 00:44:39,654
Yeah, I think, and that's the moment where they're deciding not to do the work and I'm
okay with it.

786
00:44:39,654 --> 00:44:41,474
Now the communication is important.

787
00:44:41,474 --> 00:44:43,254
What's so funny about his story.

788
00:44:43,254 --> 00:44:46,074
I'm sitting here and you're talking about his strength.

789
00:44:46,074 --> 00:44:47,054
Yeah.

790
00:44:47,514 --> 00:44:49,154
But you talked about his weaknesses.

791
00:44:49,154 --> 00:44:57,434
That's why so often I'll sit across from people and we'll talk about this e-wheat sales
trainer, this guru influencer.

792
00:44:57,534 --> 00:45:03,294
This is their two or three key drivers or key indicators about what it takes to be
successful in life.

793
00:45:03,294 --> 00:45:06,278
You'll hear people that say focus on

794
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:12,189
Focus on your great attributes and your skills and don't focus on your deficiencies.

795
00:45:12,791 --> 00:45:20,642
But with him, if he didn't focus on his deficiencies, he wasn't going to be able to
maximize what his potential was.

796
00:45:20,834 --> 00:45:32,910
Yep, that's it, yeah, and I'm a strengths finder guy, love it, I love it, but their whole
thing is don't focus on weakness, or they do say contain your weaknesses, which I'll

797
00:45:32,910 --> 00:45:38,734
respectfully disagree, I think if that guy didn't up-level his weakness, he was screwed,
he was not gonna.

798
00:45:38,734 --> 00:45:42,094
more of the question is what's the vision you have for your life?

799
00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:43,514
What do you want to be?

800
00:45:43,794 --> 00:45:53,334
Because if he didn't want to be a director, an EVP, if he didn't want to truly be elite
and completely change his life and be one of the high, if he didn't want to be that, it's

801
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:54,134
okay.

802
00:45:54,474 --> 00:45:54,654
Right?

803
00:45:54,654 --> 00:45:54,994
Isn't it?

804
00:45:54,994 --> 00:46:00,614
If he just wants to continue to be this guy and piss people off and not be great for the
culture, he's always going to make a lot of money.

805
00:46:00,614 --> 00:46:02,634
He's going to make an impact for an organization.

806
00:46:02,634 --> 00:46:05,714
But the argument is, that you got to get rid of your toxic people.

807
00:46:05,714 --> 00:46:07,128
And usually they're the top performers.

808
00:46:07,128 --> 00:46:07,714
Yeah.

809
00:46:07,714 --> 00:46:10,417
Like a Gary Gaynor Vaynerchuk talks about this.

810
00:46:11,300 --> 00:46:17,939
said, Hey, usually your most toxic people to the culture are the most elite and top
salespeople, you better fire them immediately.

811
00:46:17,939 --> 00:46:18,474
Wow.

812
00:46:18,474 --> 00:46:21,558
I haven't heard him say that I love his stuff, but wow

813
00:46:21,558 --> 00:46:23,741
And then so, but if you would have done that.

814
00:46:24,204 --> 00:46:24,645
Why?

815
00:46:24,645 --> 00:46:25,946
Why does he say that?

816
00:46:26,062 --> 00:46:28,635
um I think he believes that they don't change.

817
00:46:28,635 --> 00:46:33,986
I'm putting words in his mouth, but that's where I go to, Because why wouldn't you work on
the individual?

818
00:46:33,986 --> 00:46:34,826
Yeah.

819
00:46:35,266 --> 00:46:37,987
Probably hard to lead that person.

820
00:46:38,767 --> 00:46:39,428
Yeah.

821
00:46:39,428 --> 00:46:40,348
Yeah.

822
00:46:40,428 --> 00:46:41,328
Yeah.

823
00:46:41,328 --> 00:46:42,228
Yeah.

824
00:46:42,228 --> 00:46:43,419
thankfully they were open.

825
00:46:43,419 --> 00:46:44,079
But guess why?

826
00:46:44,079 --> 00:46:47,030
Because I invested in him early on.

827
00:46:47,030 --> 00:46:48,410
He trusted me.

828
00:46:49,010 --> 00:46:49,570
He lives in...

829
00:46:49,570 --> 00:46:51,251
I'm going to see him after this, by the way.

830
00:46:51,251 --> 00:46:52,411
This is this...

831
00:46:52,411 --> 00:46:53,732
I don't work for the company anymore.

832
00:46:53,732 --> 00:46:55,532
I'm going to go have lunch with this guy.

833
00:46:56,312 --> 00:46:57,792
Because I cared.

834
00:46:57,953 --> 00:46:59,313
He knew I cared.

835
00:46:59,373 --> 00:47:00,023
And that's it.

836
00:47:00,023 --> 00:47:03,334
It comes down to do people know you care about

837
00:47:03,498 --> 00:47:09,180
If people know that, my guess is in your company, if people know you care, they're gonna
frickin' move mountains for you.

838
00:47:09,180 --> 00:47:12,701
If they don't, they're gonna backstab you, they're not gonna give their best effort.

839
00:47:12,701 --> 00:47:16,522
They've gotta feel that empowerment and that encouragement.

840
00:47:16,522 --> 00:47:17,942
To me, that's leadership.

841
00:47:17,942 --> 00:47:22,404
That's how, that's what, you can, if you can get, and then you get out of the way and let
them do the job.

842
00:47:23,604 --> 00:47:25,024
Let them fail some.

843
00:47:25,475 --> 00:47:26,285
my gosh.

844
00:47:26,285 --> 00:47:27,435
I mean, it's insane.

845
00:47:27,435 --> 00:47:29,416
I gotta tell you the story real quick.

846
00:47:29,416 --> 00:47:30,316
My son,

847
00:47:31,082 --> 00:47:35,344
He plays for a small Christian school in Columbus, Junoah Christian.

848
00:47:35,805 --> 00:47:44,630
And he's been, funny enough, he's got some of the same head case things that his dad has
as far as self-limiting beliefs and different things.

849
00:47:45,071 --> 00:47:47,791
He's played basketball and soccer his whole life.

850
00:47:47,933 --> 00:47:51,535
Decided to not play basketball last year and go all in on soccer.

851
00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:56,648
Realized quickly, won't go into the story that he probably didn't have the level to play
at the top level.

852
00:47:56,648 --> 00:47:57,388
So.

853
00:47:57,734 --> 00:47:59,385
We were able to get him back on the basketball team.

854
00:47:59,385 --> 00:48:04,859
It's a very small school, so were, maybe Dad was able to make some calls and crease the
skids a little bit.

855
00:48:04,859 --> 00:48:06,240
But so he got back on the team.

856
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:14,506
uh They just had, so he's going into his senior year and they've got a couple really good
younger kids that are fantastic.

857
00:48:14,506 --> 00:48:17,487
They're getting invited into showcases and all this stuff now.

858
00:48:17,848 --> 00:48:23,091
So he goes, they had camped last two days in University of Findlay up north of here.

859
00:48:23,572 --> 00:48:26,882
And uh his problem is, and we all know it,

860
00:48:26,882 --> 00:48:29,102
And I've talked to him a million times as coaches.

861
00:48:29,363 --> 00:48:30,483
His name's Gabe.

862
00:48:30,483 --> 00:48:31,643
Gabe, you've got to play free.

863
00:48:31,643 --> 00:48:33,544
You're at your best when you play free.

864
00:48:34,144 --> 00:48:39,416
Well, he's been stuck in this whole thing of, don't, dad, I don't know if I'm going to
start.

865
00:48:39,416 --> 00:48:41,506
So if I'm not going to start, I don't want to play.

866
00:48:41,506 --> 00:48:42,967
And this team's legit, Division 7.

867
00:48:42,967 --> 00:48:46,067
They're going to have a chance to make a pretty good run next year.

868
00:48:46,428 --> 00:48:53,640
And I'm like, Gabe, especially with my experience in sports, I wish I could go, because I
used to be so dejected when I didn't start.

869
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,200
And I'm like, look, buddy.

870
00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:58,096
Be the best guy to come off the bench or go earn your spot.

871
00:48:58,096 --> 00:48:59,396
We have all these conversations.

872
00:48:59,396 --> 00:49:02,438
So uh he goes to Finley.

873
00:49:02,438 --> 00:49:04,329
They play nine games in two days.

874
00:49:04,329 --> 00:49:06,880
I drove up there yesterday to watch.

875
00:49:07,481 --> 00:49:08,492
He ends up starting.

876
00:49:08,492 --> 00:49:20,508
He's not the best player on the team, but they're playing in the semi-finals and in the
second half, third and fourth quarter, I kid you not, he's the best player on the court.

877
00:49:21,109 --> 00:49:22,690
Plays relentless defense.

878
00:49:22,690 --> 00:49:23,510
He's

879
00:49:23,534 --> 00:49:25,214
Little taller than me.

880
00:49:25,214 --> 00:49:25,814
I'm 5'8".

881
00:49:25,814 --> 00:49:31,314
He's about 5'10", but for basketball, not very tall.

882
00:49:31,314 --> 00:49:32,574
So he's a guard.

883
00:49:32,854 --> 00:49:36,554
A pass first, good defender, guard.

884
00:49:37,234 --> 00:49:41,534
Ends up icing the game with four clutch free throws in the last minute.

885
00:49:41,694 --> 00:49:45,474
Gets on the ground to get to a loose ball to clinch the game.

886
00:49:45,474 --> 00:49:47,334
they actually lost one game.

887
00:49:47,334 --> 00:49:48,254
They were eight and one.

888
00:49:48,254 --> 00:49:50,674
This team had beaten them in the first game the day before.

889
00:49:50,674 --> 00:49:53,030
And so they went on to win the title.

890
00:49:54,338 --> 00:50:03,364
And so I'm sitting there, I drive home with him and his buddy and had a conversation with
him when we got home and I'm just like, do you see what's possible?

891
00:50:03,364 --> 00:50:05,045
What you're capable of?

892
00:50:05,986 --> 00:50:15,062
And I think that's when we can get people to play free, employees, teammates, whatever,
that's where the magic is.

893
00:50:15,062 --> 00:50:17,173
That's what our job as leaders are.

894
00:50:17,173 --> 00:50:18,744
mean, parenting is leadership.

895
00:50:18,744 --> 00:50:20,386
So how do I, yes, it's not perfect.

896
00:50:20,386 --> 00:50:21,737
You're going to make mistakes.

897
00:50:21,737 --> 00:50:23,497
You're going to screw things up.

898
00:50:25,377 --> 00:50:30,438
free yourself from the result a little bit too of trusting the process.

899
00:50:30,978 --> 00:50:33,538
That mindset has shifted a lot for me.

900
00:50:33,538 --> 00:50:40,598
Reading guys like James Clear, Tom McHavits has been amazing and seeing his journey, but
he was the first person to talk about process over outcome.

901
00:50:40,918 --> 00:50:42,318
And that's where it's okay.

902
00:50:42,318 --> 00:50:47,138
If you want to write the book, show up and write 500 words today and then do it again
tomorrow.

903
00:50:47,138 --> 00:50:50,878
If you want to record 150 episodes of a podcast.

904
00:50:51,298 --> 00:50:55,050
Show up and do episode one and get the best team to do it and then do two and three.

905
00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:59,086
And I think you even shared with me before, you see it evolve over time, you get better.

906
00:50:59,086 --> 00:51:01,607
You have do it in a compact enough amount of time.

907
00:51:01,627 --> 00:51:06,049
If not, you lose track of any progress and you probably don't have progress then.

908
00:51:06,049 --> 00:51:06,759
What do you think?

909
00:51:06,759 --> 00:51:10,081
was, you know, making the connection of sales guys, right?

910
00:51:10,081 --> 00:51:13,793
We're always trying to connect with the other human and how can we weave stories?

911
00:51:13,793 --> 00:51:17,724
I have a good friend of mine who I've met through real estate and he's an English guy.

912
00:51:17,724 --> 00:51:23,136
So he happens to be a soccer player, but he was an elite one at a young age.

913
00:51:23,557 --> 00:51:26,601
And he played for, I think it was called Ipswich.

914
00:51:26,601 --> 00:51:27,849
Okay, sure.

915
00:51:28,398 --> 00:51:33,418
And at 16 or 17, he was one level below.

916
00:51:33,938 --> 00:51:35,018
Primarily.

917
00:51:35,858 --> 00:51:37,438
So you know what that is.

918
00:51:38,658 --> 00:51:43,338
Um, he was able to dress for the big team.

919
00:51:43,418 --> 00:51:45,912
I believe 17 or 18 years.

920
00:51:45,912 --> 00:51:46,592
Gosh.

921
00:51:46,592 --> 00:51:46,914
Right.

922
00:51:46,914 --> 00:51:47,657
Yeah.

923
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:50,426
He quit.

924
00:51:50,426 --> 00:51:51,468
Really?

925
00:51:51,896 --> 00:51:52,777
Why?

926
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:54,535
It wasn't starting.

927
00:51:58,478 --> 00:52:02,802
So we made it to the top level, didn't start, and decided to opt out.

928
00:52:03,202 --> 00:52:03,797
came to U.S.

929
00:52:03,797 --> 00:52:05,012
to play college.

930
00:52:05,186 --> 00:52:05,741
Really?

931
00:52:05,741 --> 00:52:07,822
How does he feel about that now?

932
00:52:07,822 --> 00:52:09,402
He doesn't talk about it too much.

933
00:52:09,862 --> 00:52:12,782
He talks a little bit about it and they don't listen to the podcast.

934
00:52:12,782 --> 00:52:15,302
I don't think they're those type of people so I can talk about it.

935
00:52:17,382 --> 00:52:24,622
He came here and I believe he had a full ride to one of the top.

936
00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:29,762
You would see something like that, but they found out.

937
00:52:29,762 --> 00:52:31,262
They had played pro ball.

938
00:52:32,042 --> 00:52:33,542
He had to go to like an N.A.I.

939
00:52:33,542 --> 00:52:35,402
or something like that.

940
00:52:36,632 --> 00:52:39,335
But then he came here to Northern or Northern Kentucky University.

941
00:52:39,335 --> 00:52:39,906
Okay.

942
00:52:39,906 --> 00:52:46,053
And he doesn't, you can always tell when people know they have some, some regret or some
doubt.

943
00:52:46,154 --> 00:52:49,097
His name is all over that place when it comes to soccer.

944
00:52:49,238 --> 00:52:50,180
It's just Northern.

945
00:52:50,180 --> 00:52:52,702
It's just NKU, but

946
00:52:55,118 --> 00:52:59,339
I just listen to this and I'm like, man, we have to help people.

947
00:52:59,639 --> 00:53:01,920
You were there to coach your son.

948
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,201
When he was going through that moment, right?

949
00:53:05,201 --> 00:53:06,101
Right.

950
00:53:06,501 --> 00:53:13,353
And it's so sad when you see people that have significant talent, they're living what most
people would believe is a dream.

951
00:53:13,353 --> 00:53:14,403
Here comes the pressure.

952
00:53:14,403 --> 00:53:14,804
Yeah.

953
00:53:14,804 --> 00:53:15,204
Right.

954
00:53:15,204 --> 00:53:20,305
They're not living up to some preconceived notion of expectation in that moment.

955
00:53:20,525 --> 00:53:23,779
And it's like, Hey, it's supposed to be hard.

956
00:53:23,779 --> 00:53:24,526
Yeah.

957
00:53:24,526 --> 00:53:25,977
This thing is hard to do great things.

958
00:53:25,977 --> 00:53:27,267
It's really hard.

959
00:53:28,028 --> 00:53:29,689
Let's work through that.

960
00:53:29,729 --> 00:53:30,779
Let's be intentional.

961
00:53:30,779 --> 00:53:32,210
Let's to your book, right?

962
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:37,393
Let's be intentional about the necessary tactics and things because you're already very
capable and you're so good.

963
00:53:37,393 --> 00:53:46,918
So it goes, what I find is most people that I interact with, they do not comprehend what
they're capable of.

964
00:53:47,776 --> 00:53:48,562
out.

965
00:53:50,850 --> 00:53:59,421
The reason why I'm in a position where I know it is I know where I came from and what the
world tells us, how we used to be graded in life.

966
00:53:59,882 --> 00:54:03,727
You're not supposed to come where I came from to be sitting here today.

967
00:54:05,009 --> 00:54:05,850
And

968
00:54:09,079 --> 00:54:10,356
It can be done.

969
00:54:12,620 --> 00:54:14,612
Everybody wants to do it fast these days.

970
00:54:14,994 --> 00:54:17,984
I don't love it, but it could be done faster.

971
00:54:17,984 --> 00:54:20,743
I could have done it faster.

972
00:54:20,743 --> 00:54:28,204
Um, and I'm, it's almost as if everybody is living the life.

973
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:32,914
that almost they're living the life of today.

974
00:54:32,914 --> 00:54:34,378
So we're sitting here on June 12th.

975
00:54:34,378 --> 00:54:38,607
So they're living just June 12th and what they're experiencing.

976
00:54:38,607 --> 00:54:40,510
It's what I talked about about the studio.

977
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:52,674
If they can comprehend and look around and see greatness, if you can see greatness and you
know what that is, you most likely can become it.

978
00:54:53,615 --> 00:54:59,428
The understanding of saying that performance, that outcome, that action is great.

979
00:54:59,428 --> 00:55:03,819
If you truly have an accurate understanding of it, you know what it is.

980
00:55:04,140 --> 00:55:09,740
You just need to have someone there, some process, some system that says, hey, here's
where you are.

981
00:55:09,740 --> 00:55:12,633
Here's the things that have been designed that have been learned previously.

982
00:55:12,633 --> 00:55:15,915
If you get on the bike, if you get on the road and do this thing, you will get there.

983
00:55:15,915 --> 00:55:19,478
So I don't know what your thought is about it, but it's intentionality.

984
00:55:19,682 --> 00:55:21,183
Okay, can I ask you a question?

985
00:55:21,183 --> 00:55:27,687
So I was listening to some of your prior work and you talk about I think 2007 2008
financial crisis.

986
00:55:27,687 --> 00:55:29,329
Oh Right.

987
00:55:29,329 --> 00:55:30,789
You're on your last

988
00:55:30,894 --> 00:55:32,834
three weeks from complete.

989
00:55:33,334 --> 00:55:35,234
Here's what I was looking at.

990
00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:38,794
And see, when you have success, then you're comfortable talking about all the failures.

991
00:55:38,794 --> 00:55:40,094
Isn't it funny how works?

992
00:55:40,094 --> 00:55:41,134
Yeah, it's how it works.

993
00:55:41,134 --> 00:55:44,354
You don't want to talk about it in the moment because you don't feel like you're
succeeding.

994
00:55:44,354 --> 00:55:45,474
It hurts.

995
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:51,394
you're living the life that you believe other people are perceiving as well, which is
completely irrelevant.

996
00:55:51,394 --> 00:55:51,994
So whatever the quote.

997
00:55:51,994 --> 00:55:53,634
yeah, it was.

998
00:55:53,734 --> 00:55:59,864
And when I say three weeks, personally, my personal commitments, which are mortgages,

999
00:55:59,864 --> 00:56:01,155
You have leases for an office.

1000
00:56:01,155 --> 00:56:02,776
started this real estate company.

1001
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,017
I have a couple of employees.

1002
00:56:04,017 --> 00:56:06,760
It's still really small, but I went all in.

1003
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:11,403
When people are truly entrepreneurial and they have a dream, you go all in.

1004
00:56:11,864 --> 00:56:15,146
You just do and you risk everything.

1005
00:56:15,547 --> 00:56:18,689
And if you don't risk everything, you're most likely not going to succeed.

1006
00:56:18,689 --> 00:56:26,855
If you're not willing to risk everything, if you're an entrepreneur, because it's going to
be so much harder, the plan isn't going to work out exactly like the way you've laid it

1007
00:56:26,855 --> 00:56:27,457
out.

1008
00:56:27,457 --> 00:56:29,768
If you're not willing to risk it all,

1009
00:56:30,510 --> 00:56:33,191
there's a good chance that you're probably gonna fail.

1010
00:56:33,191 --> 00:56:36,052
And the reason why you're gonna fail is because you're gonna quit too soon.

1011
00:56:36,353 --> 00:56:38,562
Because you weren't willing to push it more and risk more.

1012
00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:40,134
And I understand when people have families and all that.

1013
00:56:40,134 --> 00:56:46,497
if I go back, my brain told me, I think I had three weeks of revenue and funds left.

1014
00:56:46,497 --> 00:56:49,388
But think about that in the personal and business cycle.

1015
00:56:49,388 --> 00:56:50,958
Think about what three weeks is.

1016
00:56:52,119 --> 00:56:55,300
Worst, mean, at least we operate on a monthly scale.

1017
00:56:55,421 --> 00:56:57,382
Mortgages and rents are paid monthly.

1018
00:56:57,382 --> 00:56:58,860
Bills are paid monthly.

1019
00:56:58,860 --> 00:57:03,176
So if I had three weeks left, it means you're on empty.

1020
00:57:03,497 --> 00:57:06,021
I can't make the next cycle.

1021
00:57:06,021 --> 00:57:09,426
Um, so yeah, it was.

1022
00:57:11,458 --> 00:57:17,726
the most difficult thing and moment in my life to overcome.

1023
00:57:18,208 --> 00:57:20,745
And so, yeah, so you're right.

1024
00:57:20,745 --> 00:57:22,280
I don't know what you want to ask about.

1025
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,683
Like what, I think to go back to vision, what got you through that?

1026
00:57:27,468 --> 00:57:28,398
Couldn't imagine.

1027
00:57:28,398 --> 00:57:34,278
what I tell, um, I didn't have the understanding and the comprehension to have so many
conversations I have with elite folks.

1028
00:57:34,278 --> 00:57:40,078
Now I didn't have it then I just had work ethic, but I said something on a podcast.

1029
00:57:40,078 --> 00:57:41,258
I don't go on too many podcasts.

1030
00:57:41,258 --> 00:57:46,718
If people invite me, I'll go on some of them, but I said something to a guy a year and
half ago on a podcast.

1031
00:57:46,718 --> 00:57:49,918
And I said, he's like, man, explain the success.

1032
00:57:49,918 --> 00:57:51,198
And I said, well, hold on.

1033
00:57:51,198 --> 00:57:52,178
We need to establish a check.

1034
00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:53,998
Cause don't feel like I've succeeded yet.

1035
00:57:55,098 --> 00:57:57,006
People who have less than think I have.

1036
00:57:57,006 --> 00:57:58,566
They see the thing I've built.

1037
00:57:58,626 --> 00:58:00,946
Listen, I'm the first quarter baby.

1038
00:58:00,946 --> 00:58:01,586
I got you.

1039
00:58:01,586 --> 00:58:02,706
Of what I want to build.

1040
00:58:02,706 --> 00:58:05,086
but the outside world looks like success.

1041
00:58:05,266 --> 00:58:12,846
And I said, well, I've had all the struggle and the heartache that people could even
comprehend and perceive and think about around a long journey of 17 years of

1042
00:58:12,846 --> 00:58:13,745
entrepreneurship.

1043
00:58:15,126 --> 00:58:16,146
But I said, it's very simple.

1044
00:58:16,146 --> 00:58:18,426
just committed when I started.

1045
00:58:18,946 --> 00:58:19,386
He said, what do mean?

1046
00:58:19,386 --> 00:58:20,846
I said, committed to the outcome.

1047
00:58:21,166 --> 00:58:24,926
So that's why I struggle with people talking about this, trying to achieve results.

1048
00:58:24,938 --> 00:58:37,397
Me actually committing when I started to the outcome, regardless of all the danger and all
the pitfalls and all the disaster that I had no idea that I was going to have to go

1049
00:58:37,397 --> 00:58:39,308
through on my path to learn.

1050
00:58:39,448 --> 00:58:42,060
At the moments that I would face, I wasn't good enough to overcome it.

1051
00:58:42,060 --> 00:58:48,645
The only way you keep going is if you just believe and you commit to this idea of what you
wanted to do, because it's so hard.

1052
00:58:48,645 --> 00:58:49,525
It's so painful.

1053
00:58:49,525 --> 00:58:54,078
So just my own personal experiences, there was no indicator.

1054
00:58:54,264 --> 00:58:55,934
that I was going to be able to.

1055
00:58:57,134 --> 00:59:00,275
I didn't have a mentor sitting beside me.

1056
00:59:00,275 --> 00:59:02,817
I just knew I was...

1057
00:59:03,737 --> 00:59:07,838
It was either success or death.

1058
00:59:08,699 --> 00:59:16,821
And I don't know if I actually mean literal death, but financial death, uh reputation
death.

1059
00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:19,302
uh

1060
00:59:21,088 --> 00:59:29,821
Self-belief, ego, death of everything a human knows on the physical part.

1061
00:59:30,402 --> 00:59:38,725
I wasn't going to stop until literally someone or something or some system was like,
you're Game over.

1062
00:59:38,725 --> 00:59:39,945
Can't do it.

1063
00:59:39,966 --> 00:59:41,906
Can't get back into your office.

1064
00:59:41,906 --> 00:59:43,677
Don't have the licenses to do the thing.

1065
00:59:43,677 --> 00:59:45,388
We're throwing away the key.

1066
00:59:45,728 --> 00:59:51,180
And so because of that, what I did in that moment when I was, we literally couldn't sell
homes.

1067
00:59:51,554 --> 00:59:52,770
We couldn't get home as appraised.

1068
00:59:52,770 --> 00:59:53,123
Right.

1069
00:59:53,123 --> 00:59:56,557
was, it a disaster and

1070
01:00:00,616 --> 01:00:08,296
since I made such a commitment to the outcome of building the idea of what I believe the
company needed to be because the industry needed to pivot.

1071
01:00:10,966 --> 01:00:16,350
I said, okay, what is the baseline fundamental thing I have to do to survive?

1072
01:00:16,630 --> 01:00:17,751
To stay on the journey.

1073
01:00:17,751 --> 01:00:20,052
I said, I got to go sell a house.

1074
01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:21,654
It's that simple.

1075
01:00:21,654 --> 01:00:26,177
I have got to go sell a house knew how to do it really well.

1076
01:00:27,238 --> 01:00:28,439
And houses weren't selling.

1077
01:00:28,439 --> 01:00:29,380
It said, doesn't matter.

1078
01:00:29,380 --> 01:00:31,081
Go have one more conversation.

1079
01:00:31,081 --> 01:00:32,662
Go get one more listing.

1080
01:00:32,662 --> 01:00:34,784
Find one more interested buyer.

1081
01:00:34,784 --> 01:00:36,945
Go sell a house.

1082
01:00:36,945 --> 01:00:38,274
And it was survival.

1083
01:00:38,274 --> 01:00:41,359
And then for the next two to three years, man, it was, it was literal survival.

1084
01:00:41,359 --> 01:00:47,409
um, I've been in a relationship with my significant other with her for 17 years.

1085
01:00:48,552 --> 01:00:50,504
We'd only been together about a year.

1086
01:00:52,770 --> 01:00:55,311
when just financial crisis showed up.

1087
01:00:55,532 --> 01:00:57,572
And she said something to me.

1088
01:00:58,273 --> 01:00:59,294
She's awesome.

1089
01:00:59,294 --> 01:01:01,205
You can't achieve what I've achieved in life.

1090
01:01:01,205 --> 01:01:02,515
Like she didn't get all the credit.

1091
01:01:02,515 --> 01:01:06,937
I did the work, but I wouldn't have had the mental capacity.

1092
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:16,263
If a relationship drains and takes things away from you, it's tough for you to become the
total human that you can become, right?

1093
01:01:16,343 --> 01:01:20,825
So she's never been someone that's, she's always helped fill me up.

1094
01:01:20,825 --> 01:01:22,114
She's never been a drain.

1095
01:01:22,114 --> 01:01:23,936
Wow, that's amazing.

1096
01:01:23,936 --> 01:01:24,387
ever.

1097
01:01:24,387 --> 01:01:24,986
Fortunate.

1098
01:01:24,986 --> 01:01:27,911
You don't know when you meet people that that's who they're going to become.

1099
01:01:27,911 --> 01:01:34,557
But she said something to me seven or eight years ago and she said,

1100
01:01:37,186 --> 01:01:39,660
You know, it's as if you weren't even here for two years.

1101
01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:40,357
Wow.

1102
01:01:40,357 --> 01:01:41,299
Okay.

1103
01:01:43,054 --> 01:01:46,514
And that's how hard it was.

1104
01:01:46,734 --> 01:01:47,914
That's how deep.

1105
01:01:47,914 --> 01:01:48,614
That's how dark.

1106
01:01:48,614 --> 01:01:51,654
And I wasn't depressed that I know.

1107
01:01:52,074 --> 01:01:59,554
But every day when I woke up, these 16 and 18 legit hours, a lot of people say it.

1108
01:02:00,214 --> 01:02:07,954
Without making a profit, just driving revenue enough to survive to keep the dream and the
hope alive for the future.

1109
01:02:10,616 --> 01:02:23,575
There wasn't any skill inside of me that said this guy's more capable or something about
him has higher business intelligence or he's the chosen one to succeed in this arena.

1110
01:02:24,816 --> 01:02:26,617
I just wanted it more, man.

1111
01:02:26,837 --> 01:02:27,828
And so, yeah.

1112
01:02:27,828 --> 01:02:39,992
And so I think that I go back then it was really, really painful, but the only thing I did
in every moment was put my head down, go find a deal, go make a connection.

1113
01:02:39,992 --> 01:02:47,733
talk to a human being about selling the thing that I sell and get up and do it every day,
every moment, and spend every amount of time.

1114
01:02:47,733 --> 01:02:57,606
And so since it's that simple, everything that I get to lead now, everything, we're
sitting here, everything I get to lead came from that.

1115
01:03:01,698 --> 01:03:08,402
That's why know that almost every other human being that I look at every day, it's in
there.

1116
01:03:08,582 --> 01:03:10,243
They are capable.

1117
01:03:11,084 --> 01:03:14,946
So, and the person I am today.

1118
01:03:18,070 --> 01:03:21,408
is because of all the pain, all the hardship.

1119
01:03:24,566 --> 01:03:27,869
and all those really, really tough times I had to go through.

1120
01:03:27,890 --> 01:03:31,464
And to your point about life, I wouldn't change a thing.

1121
01:03:33,496 --> 01:03:37,388
But the bad part is most people quit and it doesn't make me special.

1122
01:03:37,388 --> 01:03:41,030
It just makes me a guy who didn't quit.

1123
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:41,361
Right.

1124
01:03:41,361 --> 01:03:42,742
So I don't know what we do with that.

1125
01:03:42,742 --> 01:03:44,233
I don't know what we do with it.

1126
01:03:44,233 --> 01:03:45,773
Hey, thanks for tuning in.

1127
01:03:45,854 --> 01:03:51,277
If you like these types of conversations, be sure to follow the necessary entrepreneur on
your favorite platform.

1128
01:03:51,277 --> 01:03:53,618
So you never miss out on future content.

1129
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:55,528
For me, it's the hero's journey.

1130
01:03:55,672 --> 01:03:57,690
So what's the hero's journey?

1131
01:03:57,793 --> 01:04:04,934
The Hero's Journey, this guy Joseph Campbell, popularized it, wrote a book about it, I
don't know, 100 years ago, something like that.

1132
01:04:04,934 --> 01:04:08,974
But pretty much every Hollywood movie is based on this framework, and here's what it is,
essentially.

1133
01:04:09,734 --> 01:04:14,834
Someone goes on some adventure, and usually they experience some extreme adversity.

1134
01:04:14,834 --> 01:04:19,214
Usually a guide comes along and helps them back on the path, and then they come back to
save the day.

1135
01:04:19,214 --> 01:04:26,154
So you think about Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars, or any most famous movies have this
path, and I think it's the human journey.

1136
01:04:26,380 --> 01:04:27,131
You just said it.

1137
01:04:27,131 --> 01:04:29,494
mean, this is you're on this path.

1138
01:04:29,494 --> 01:04:31,315
Financial crisis hits.

1139
01:04:32,237 --> 01:04:39,645
For me, what I go to, sounds like your significant other became your guide, your support
system a little bit, even though you weren't there.

1140
01:04:39,645 --> 01:04:40,206
I don't know.

1141
01:04:40,206 --> 01:04:50,713
know, so yeah, so I think that what I know is, is that in that moment, see, that's what's
so important about surrounding ourselves with quality people is you don't know when the

1142
01:04:50,713 --> 01:04:52,274
tough times are going to come.

1143
01:04:53,055 --> 01:04:58,158
I don't need her to be awesome and great and supportive most of the time.

1144
01:04:59,239 --> 01:05:04,102
But when you need them, it's essential that they show up, right?

1145
01:05:04,142 --> 01:05:10,100
And if they aren't that capable quality individual, they're not going to have the
infrastructure and be able to show

1146
01:05:10,100 --> 01:05:12,927
and allowing you the freedom to go do your thing.

1147
01:05:12,927 --> 01:05:18,929
So you were gone for two years, but that's maybe she was a guide there without even being
a true guide is my point.

1148
01:05:18,929 --> 01:05:20,918
I didn't hear one ounce of criticism in those two years.

1149
01:05:20,918 --> 01:05:23,160
Yeah, mean, support.

1150
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:24,451
I'm on this adventure now.

1151
01:05:24,451 --> 01:05:26,120
I just left 25-year corporate career.

1152
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:27,393
Guess who my biggest cheerleader is?

1153
01:05:27,393 --> 01:05:27,823
Your wife.

1154
01:05:27,823 --> 01:05:28,924
My wife.

1155
01:05:29,204 --> 01:05:29,845
Every day.

1156
01:05:29,845 --> 01:05:32,347
She's been telling me to do this work for five years.

1157
01:05:32,347 --> 01:05:33,237
John, I believe in you.

1158
01:05:33,237 --> 01:05:33,452
Go.

1159
01:05:33,452 --> 01:05:34,748
You're going to crush it.

1160
01:05:35,089 --> 01:05:35,439
Right?

1161
01:05:35,439 --> 01:05:42,334
And sometimes a little thing, eh, I got the stock options and the cushy salary and health
benefits and everything else.

1162
01:05:42,334 --> 01:05:43,674
It's really nice.

1163
01:05:44,055 --> 01:05:48,348
But she's been saying, now, you know you want more of an impact.

1164
01:05:48,351 --> 01:05:51,547
And I could not be doing this without her support.

1165
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:52,532
It's been incredible.

1166
01:05:52,532 --> 01:05:52,982
It is.

1167
01:05:52,982 --> 01:06:01,324
Um, and I think what we, we hear less Brown and all these folks say, your wife is the
outcome of the five people you spend the most time around.

1168
01:06:02,045 --> 01:06:04,245
I don't know if it has to be five.

1169
01:06:05,185 --> 01:06:12,267
It's just your wife reflects and looks like the people that you spend the majority of your
time.

1170
01:06:12,667 --> 01:06:14,068
It just does.

1171
01:06:14,248 --> 01:06:22,610
And so I, this is one of the biggest struggles that people that I am close to have.

1172
01:06:22,902 --> 01:06:26,164
It's tough for us to break the mold of where we came from.

1173
01:06:26,265 --> 01:06:30,288
It's tough for us to break the mold of these have been 20 year friends.

1174
01:06:30,588 --> 01:06:38,595
It's tough to break the mold of, um, A very negative family member.

1175
01:06:38,595 --> 01:06:42,017
It's tough for them to understand what to do with that.

1176
01:06:42,538 --> 01:06:49,324
And I'm not here to give any advice on how much they distance themselves, what they should
do with it.

1177
01:06:49,324 --> 01:06:52,458
I just know if you spend, is, this is

1178
01:06:52,458 --> 01:06:54,859
I have this factual.

1179
01:06:54,859 --> 01:06:55,398
I don't care.

1180
01:06:55,398 --> 01:06:56,081
This is not opinion.

1181
01:06:56,081 --> 01:06:57,161
I've seen it.

1182
01:06:57,502 --> 01:07:13,273
If you spend even a consistent small time weekly, a few hours, if you spend even a few
hours weekly around inherently negative people, your wife is going to be less than it just

1183
01:07:13,273 --> 01:07:14,073
is.

1184
01:07:14,093 --> 01:07:21,148
There's so much energy that has taken up being in that space around those people because
you don't instantly recover when you leave them.

1185
01:07:21,166 --> 01:07:21,938
sure.

1186
01:07:22,006 --> 01:07:23,027
It is hard.

1187
01:07:23,027 --> 01:07:26,789
And if you spend two or three or four hours with them, you're going to have 10 hours.

1188
01:07:26,789 --> 01:07:28,491
That's kind of like, right.

1189
01:07:28,491 --> 01:07:39,198
The, and so I think, so the challenge is, is that we, in these emergency situations,
that's when we're looking almost for the healing, but what we should be doing properly

1190
01:07:39,198 --> 01:07:42,481
with intentionality is building the infrastructure of life.

1191
01:07:42,481 --> 01:07:46,946
You actually, you work out in the gym, not necessarily for your health today.

1192
01:07:46,946 --> 01:07:48,785
So you can have a full life of health.

1193
01:07:48,785 --> 01:07:49,226
Right.

1194
01:07:49,226 --> 01:07:49,606
Right.

1195
01:07:49,606 --> 01:07:50,272
Right.

1196
01:07:50,272 --> 01:07:58,174
If we're only reacting, looking people to save us when we're in the moment of trauma,
well, you better have lived a life and impacted folks that when you're going through the

1197
01:07:58,174 --> 01:07:59,148
struggle, they show up.

1198
01:07:59,148 --> 01:07:59,998
Yeah.

1199
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:00,960
That's good.

1200
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:03,182
Yeah, it's relationship capital.

1201
01:08:03,303 --> 01:08:14,866
You've got to, it's been amazing for me to see, I've gotten a lot of offers for jobs and
consulting gigs and all this stuff, because I spent 25 years in this insure tech space and

1202
01:08:14,866 --> 01:08:20,845
I've had people say what, what's been your secret to developing relationships and it's

1203
01:08:20,845 --> 01:08:24,805
Don't burn any bridges, treat everybody with respect, add value in every situation.

1204
01:08:24,805 --> 01:08:26,525
And by the way, I didn't always think this way.

1205
01:08:26,525 --> 01:08:32,245
There was a moment, my first half of my career, I was a pretty selfish, egotistical sales
rep and had some success.

1206
01:08:32,285 --> 01:08:43,005
But realized I got taken off a couple of accounts and realized, yeah, I could make friends
with somebody, but I better be really delivering value to them in a big way to really make

1207
01:08:43,005 --> 01:08:44,145
it a true partnership.

1208
01:08:44,145 --> 01:08:49,805
I I kind of had this vendor, I'm your buddy and I'm gonna take you out to golf and dinner
and whatever else.

1209
01:08:51,566 --> 01:08:54,086
But I think that changes everything.

1210
01:08:54,086 --> 01:08:58,886
When you focus on planting the right seeds, the relationship capital piece.

1211
01:08:59,366 --> 01:09:02,966
There's an old book we used to read to our kids that says, how full is your bucket?

1212
01:09:02,966 --> 01:09:05,346
And you think about, I think, I want to say it's Tom Wrath.

1213
01:09:05,346 --> 01:09:06,406
may have the name wrong.

1214
01:09:06,406 --> 01:09:07,466
I hear people talk about this.

1215
01:09:07,466 --> 01:09:11,046
But it's basically every person has a bucket of water on their head.

1216
01:09:11,046 --> 01:09:13,866
I have one, you have one, everybody in the room has a bucket of water.

1217
01:09:13,866 --> 01:09:17,734
And your job, my job for you is not to take any of your water out.

1218
01:09:17,812 --> 01:09:20,434
It's I want to fill your bucket so it overflows.

1219
01:09:20,434 --> 01:09:22,085
Hopefully you do the same.

1220
01:09:22,266 --> 01:09:27,069
And then that's where the magic is because we're when you're a bucket filler.

1221
01:09:27,618 --> 01:09:28,838
How do you work through this?

1222
01:09:28,838 --> 01:09:35,960
Um, I believe life is this balance of figuring out this balance of selflessness and
selfishness.

1223
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:40,061
And it, it's weighted differently throughout our lives.

1224
01:09:41,182 --> 01:09:48,984
What I know is true is the more selfless that we are, the more impacts that we're going to
make.

1225
01:09:49,964 --> 01:09:53,185
You're going to be able to be more selfish in the future.

1226
01:09:54,305 --> 01:09:55,808
I said something to somebody a couple of weeks ago.

1227
01:09:55,808 --> 01:09:57,756
Hey, I'm not looking to be the martyr.

1228
01:09:58,488 --> 01:10:09,187
I actually want to live an incredible life, but I know that I need to put other people
first to be able to live that incredible life that comes with delayed gratification.

1229
01:10:09,188 --> 01:10:18,857
That comes with delaying the life that I want to have that delaying my selfishness to pour
into others so that when the time comes, have so many, that's the analogy of the bucket.

1230
01:10:18,857 --> 01:10:22,760
So how do we mentally operate that it needs to be about other people?

1231
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,719
oh

1232
01:10:24,719 --> 01:10:25,040
Yeah.

1233
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:34,456
So I think people miss this and this is I, I two buckets in the book for the with
intention process is self intention and others intention.

1234
01:10:34,456 --> 01:10:38,689
I've got five steps for both self intention.

1235
01:10:38,689 --> 01:10:41,104
People usually think, Hey, I just want to focus on others.

1236
01:10:41,104 --> 01:10:42,152
I'm going to be a servant leader.

1237
01:10:42,152 --> 01:10:44,133
It's all about them, but no, no, no.

1238
01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,874
It's about you first.

1239
01:10:45,874 --> 01:10:51,698
You have to build into yourself first so that you can serve others in a big way.

1240
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,710
So what do they tell you when you bought?

1241
01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:55,055
to issue when you board a plane.

1242
01:10:55,055 --> 01:10:55,588
Yeah.

1243
01:10:55,588 --> 01:10:57,245
If the oxygen goes out, what do do first?

1244
01:10:57,245 --> 01:10:59,118
You put it on first so then you can help others.

1245
01:10:59,118 --> 01:11:00,619
That's right, it's the same thing.

1246
01:11:00,619 --> 01:11:02,940
for example, let's make this very practical.

1247
01:11:02,940 --> 01:11:07,062
You wake up and are you investing in yourself?

1248
01:11:07,062 --> 01:11:12,335
So for me, the first 90 minutes of my day, I have my set rituals that I do.

1249
01:11:12,335 --> 01:11:18,949
For me, I read the Bible, I read another book, I work out, and then I plan my day.

1250
01:11:18,949 --> 01:11:22,124
I used to be, no I'm gonna...

1251
01:11:22,124 --> 01:11:24,516
wake up and grind and make calls and emails.

1252
01:11:24,516 --> 01:11:30,881
And I realized, I did a bunch of research back when I was going through this process of
rebuilding my career and my speaking skills.

1253
01:11:30,881 --> 01:11:39,648
I called it success habits, ironically, but I interviewed about 40 top performers about
how they went about their work, their days, personally, professionally, everything, asking

1254
01:11:39,648 --> 01:11:41,400
them very tactical questions.

1255
01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:42,182
What time do go to bed?

1256
01:11:42,182 --> 01:11:43,151
What time do you wake up?

1257
01:11:43,151 --> 01:11:44,432
What do you eat?

1258
01:11:44,432 --> 01:11:45,233
All this stuff.

1259
01:11:45,233 --> 01:11:46,224
How do you manage your energy?

1260
01:11:46,224 --> 01:11:49,056
How do you keep a to-do list on paper or electronically?

1261
01:11:49,056 --> 01:11:49,677
All this.

1262
01:11:49,677 --> 01:11:51,426
Fascinating to see the different

1263
01:11:51,426 --> 01:11:59,313
you know, the disparity between and some very top performers that sleep in a little bit
and they think the afternoon is their best time.

1264
01:11:59,313 --> 01:12:02,385
Some that on paper, they're crushing it and guess what?

1265
01:12:02,385 --> 01:12:06,038
They're stressed out and they're getting three hours of sleep and they're all, you know,
they're struggling.

1266
01:12:06,038 --> 01:12:11,363
So ah for me, it's how that's what with intention is.

1267
01:12:11,363 --> 01:12:12,465
How do you start your day?

1268
01:12:12,465 --> 01:12:13,314
How do you win the day?

1269
01:12:13,314 --> 01:12:20,192
And it's, is, maybe it sounds selfish, but no, it's fill yourself up, spend time on
yourself so that you can serve others.

1270
01:12:20,192 --> 01:12:22,951
It's both, it's a growth mindset and a service mindset.

1271
01:12:22,951 --> 01:12:24,747
For me, it's non-negotiable.

1272
01:12:24,747 --> 01:12:25,920
They're very symbiotic.

1273
01:12:25,920 --> 01:12:26,398
uh

1274
01:12:26,398 --> 01:12:27,600
about the service mindset, though.

1275
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:28,842
How does that show up?

1276
01:12:28,842 --> 01:12:33,449
So if the first 90 minutes is for you, but then tell us what the other time is.

1277
01:12:33,449 --> 01:12:33,800
Yeah.

1278
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:35,895
How are you showing up to pour into others?

1279
01:12:35,895 --> 01:12:36,313
What's that?

1280
01:12:36,313 --> 01:12:39,414
What's that look like throughout your professional career?

1281
01:12:39,414 --> 01:12:46,558
Yeah, okay, so for me and my either sales team or clients, but let's talk about sales
team.

1282
01:12:47,018 --> 01:12:54,623
I was big on, didn't, there were times I had one-on-one calls, and we're all spread out
throughout the country calling, we're flying across the country meeting with insurance

1283
01:12:54,623 --> 01:12:55,963
companies, whatever else.

1284
01:12:56,224 --> 01:13:01,266
But there were many times I would be on a call with one of my reps for 90 minutes.

1285
01:13:01,366 --> 01:13:03,067
I didn't really have an end time.

1286
01:13:03,067 --> 01:13:04,818
It was let's collaborate.

1287
01:13:04,818 --> 01:13:08,300
I wanted to provide the safe container where we can talk through stuff.

1288
01:13:08,686 --> 01:13:11,506
go a little deeper, a couple of layers deeper.

1289
01:13:11,546 --> 01:13:17,386
If I had a nickel for every leader that I talked to, that it felt so transactional.

1290
01:13:17,386 --> 01:13:20,106
They're calling to check in, but they want to get off the phone.

1291
01:13:20,106 --> 01:13:21,626
You can feel it.

1292
01:13:21,626 --> 01:13:25,366
mean, our CEO would call once in a while and sometimes wouldn't even say bye.

1293
01:13:25,366 --> 01:13:28,246
He would get what he wanted from you and hang up.

1294
01:13:28,766 --> 01:13:32,926
And it just became, you lose trust in that environment.

1295
01:13:32,926 --> 01:13:37,600
And what a leader doesn't realize is that when you show up that way, you're

1296
01:13:37,600 --> 01:13:43,965
your team is not gonna perform at their best when they're not, that's why I said this
empowered and encouraged mindset.

1297
01:13:43,965 --> 01:13:44,610
So.

1298
01:13:44,610 --> 01:13:45,152
Don't care.

1299
01:13:45,152 --> 01:13:46,775
talked about that in the beginning.

1300
01:13:46,998 --> 01:13:47,244
Yeah.

1301
01:13:47,244 --> 01:13:48,151
They feel like you care.

1302
01:13:48,151 --> 01:13:50,346
They'll get a war with you.

1303
01:13:50,507 --> 01:13:56,541
So tactically again, it's spending, being with is not transactional.

1304
01:13:56,541 --> 01:13:58,893
I'm going to be with you as much time as you need.

1305
01:13:59,074 --> 01:14:02,036
If there's an emergency and you got to talk to me at night, fine, let's do it.

1306
01:14:02,036 --> 01:14:06,500
Let's, you know, you got to figure out family stuff or whatever, but be, your team's got
to know you love them.

1307
01:14:06,500 --> 01:14:09,784
And if they do, they'll, they'll run through the wall for you.

1308
01:14:09,784 --> 01:14:19,385
So does that mean I'm here for you in any way I have to be at any time, any amount of time
commitment, any conversation, any necessary growth moment?

1309
01:14:19,385 --> 01:14:23,496
I'm here to travel this journey with you without limitation.

1310
01:14:23,496 --> 01:14:29,772
but you also have to set the standard, because you can't have some super needy person that
then takes advantage of it.

1311
01:14:29,772 --> 01:14:33,296
it's, yeah, right.

1312
01:14:33,296 --> 01:14:34,657
So you gotta, I mean, it's hard.

1313
01:14:34,657 --> 01:14:35,458
This stuff's hard.

1314
01:14:35,458 --> 01:14:37,479
This leadership is not easy, man.

1315
01:14:37,479 --> 01:14:39,290
It's like, it's a dance.

1316
01:14:39,290 --> 01:14:40,902
It's an art to it.

1317
01:14:41,015 --> 01:14:41,895
um...

1318
01:14:42,919 --> 01:14:44,862
and everyone thinks they want it.

1319
01:14:47,948 --> 01:14:50,500
Yeah, it is, it's not for everybody.

1320
01:14:50,500 --> 01:14:51,880
Gosh, my gosh.

1321
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:55,703
Yeah, I've had plenty reps that said, hey, I want your job.

1322
01:14:56,144 --> 01:14:59,606
it's, you're doing less in some ways.

1323
01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:03,248
The pressure's so different.

1324
01:15:03,329 --> 01:15:05,610
The decision making, right?

1325
01:15:05,610 --> 01:15:12,386
I imagine you're making a lot less decisions than probably when you were, and I don't know
your journey, if you were a real estate agent initially.

1326
01:15:12,386 --> 01:15:13,156
That's where it started.

1327
01:15:13,156 --> 01:15:14,176
That's how you start, right?

1328
01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,420
I was a sales rep.

1329
01:15:16,420 --> 01:15:17,506
Things started from there.

1330
01:15:17,506 --> 01:15:24,430
Yeah, so uh as you get into leadership, found a lot less decisions, but way more
importance to those decisions.

1331
01:15:24,430 --> 01:15:27,637
decisions that you make have way more impact.

1332
01:15:27,637 --> 01:15:28,920
Every single one them.

1333
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:29,678
They're critical.

1334
01:15:29,678 --> 01:15:31,918
And so I, this is what I coach people on now.

1335
01:15:31,918 --> 01:15:37,178
If you, if I see a lot of people that are struggling, they got to make a big decision and
what do you do?

1336
01:15:37,178 --> 01:15:38,118
You grind it out.

1337
01:15:38,118 --> 01:15:40,838
You're sitting at the desk and I'm like, no, that's bullshit.

1338
01:15:41,378 --> 01:15:47,318
Go for, go get your running shoes on and go for a, you can go for a walk if you're a
walker, but go for a run and break a sweat.

1339
01:15:47,318 --> 01:15:50,338
I've solved more problems just breaking a 30 minute sweat.

1340
01:15:50,552 --> 01:15:52,324
How do you solve a big problem?

1341
01:15:52,324 --> 01:15:55,266
I'll sleep there.

1342
01:15:55,266 --> 01:15:56,366
would use some.

1343
01:15:56,427 --> 01:15:58,288
How do you solve a big problem?

1344
01:15:58,609 --> 01:16:00,250
Other than going on a run.

1345
01:16:01,856 --> 01:16:02,306
Yeah.

1346
01:16:02,306 --> 01:16:06,908
So no, I'm an instinctual guy.

1347
01:16:06,908 --> 01:16:19,983
um, but I also, I'm a, I was a finance major, so I'm, I'm an analyst at heart too, but,
but I know, so it's a both and proposition, but for sure instinctual, but I, I, I'm a big

1348
01:16:19,983 --> 01:16:21,514
brainstormer writer too.

1349
01:16:21,514 --> 01:16:30,117
So I like to just think and write things out and just, it's always for me about what, what
do want the end result to be?

1350
01:16:30,478 --> 01:16:31,032
And if you

1351
01:16:31,032 --> 01:16:32,258
first in general machine.

1352
01:16:32,258 --> 01:16:38,581
if you know what the end result is, because you can reverse engineer and probably take a
thousand different paths to get there.

1353
01:16:38,741 --> 01:16:41,362
And one may not be better than the other.

1354
01:16:41,362 --> 01:16:42,162
One may be harder.

1355
01:16:42,162 --> 01:16:42,903
Just take one.

1356
01:16:42,903 --> 01:16:44,083
Yeah, just take one and go.

1357
01:16:44,083 --> 01:16:48,925
Yeah, it's what I mean, it's essentially what you said earlier about the financial crisis,
right?

1358
01:16:48,925 --> 01:16:50,492
You just, know what the end result is going to be.

1359
01:16:50,492 --> 01:16:54,688
That's how, as I left corporate now and I'm building my own thing, I know where I'm going.

1360
01:16:54,688 --> 01:16:58,149
I know I'm going to get there and I know it's going to be messy.

1361
01:16:58,149 --> 01:16:58,799
It already is.

1362
01:16:58,799 --> 01:17:00,494
I'm okay with that.

1363
01:17:00,494 --> 01:17:03,954
It's less messy with the greater knowledge you have.

1364
01:17:03,954 --> 01:17:04,334
Yeah.

1365
01:17:04,334 --> 01:17:04,854
All right.

1366
01:17:04,854 --> 01:17:06,894
The commitment needs to be there, but sure.

1367
01:17:06,894 --> 01:17:12,974
I would be way more prepared to handle and deal with that now than the kids 17 years ago.

1368
01:17:13,034 --> 01:17:13,774
Right.

1369
01:17:13,954 --> 01:17:17,894
Um, but the most important thing is the commitment, all the things.

1370
01:17:17,894 --> 01:17:27,494
so I sat with a couple of people last night and I was sitting in an office and said, you
know, all these departments, all these different leaders, all the metrics were wanting

1371
01:17:27,494 --> 01:17:30,554
growth and year every year, just all the things.

1372
01:17:30,636 --> 01:17:37,889
whether it's me building commercial real estate empires, building real estate companies,
whatever it is, bunch of things happening, whether it's content piece.

1373
01:17:38,090 --> 01:17:40,851
And I said, I said, you know, we talk about a lot of things.

1374
01:17:40,851 --> 01:17:52,377
So this is the transparent moment of people getting in an office with two of my critical
people that some days are looking at me like I have 18 heads some days, not in a negative

1375
01:17:52,377 --> 01:17:54,088
way, but they're like,

1376
01:17:55,606 --> 01:17:57,026
Who is this guy?

1377
01:17:58,007 --> 01:17:59,928
We're misunderstood at times.

1378
01:18:00,329 --> 01:18:11,215
And I said, I'm going to try to break this down to the foundation, to the core of the
beginning and the end of every thing that I've achieved in my life.

1379
01:18:11,215 --> 01:18:15,217
Everyone, usually everyone wants to know how do I do better?

1380
01:18:15,317 --> 01:18:19,099
How do I make more money so it can improve my life in this business world?

1381
01:18:19,779 --> 01:18:21,180
How do I become more successful?

1382
01:18:21,180 --> 01:18:22,011
How do I get a promotion?

1383
01:18:22,011 --> 01:18:23,541
How do I make more money?

1384
01:18:23,982 --> 01:18:24,908
That's what

1385
01:18:24,908 --> 01:18:33,665
At the end of the day, so many people, there's most, most people aren't already
independently wealthy and they're on this business journey for altruism to just prove

1386
01:18:33,665 --> 01:18:34,686
something to themselves.

1387
01:18:34,686 --> 01:18:37,138
oh You're trying to be successful.

1388
01:18:37,138 --> 01:18:43,894
You're paying the bills and you sure would like to be a little bit more comfortable paying
the bills and you would like to have a few finer things in life.

1389
01:18:43,894 --> 01:18:47,827
Because what I know is money just highlights the thing you have going on.

1390
01:18:47,827 --> 01:18:49,388
The person you are.

1391
01:18:49,388 --> 01:18:52,641
know I'm not going to be disingenuous to anybody.

1392
01:18:52,641 --> 01:18:54,722
I know that flying first class.

1393
01:18:55,146 --> 01:18:58,488
is way more comfortable than coach.

1394
01:18:58,528 --> 01:19:00,909
The experience is way more comfortable.

1395
01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:15,898
If you have a luxury car and you buy that luxury car from a local luxury car dealership,
that service experience at that luxury dealership is different than one of the dealerships

1396
01:19:15,898 --> 01:19:21,241
that are one of the normal ones that I was raised growing up and driving.

1397
01:19:21,241 --> 01:19:23,842
It's a different experience.

1398
01:19:25,228 --> 01:19:28,259
That life is a little bit better.

1399
01:19:29,099 --> 01:19:33,650
And without having success that then more financial independence comes with it.

1400
01:19:33,650 --> 01:19:37,021
Usually you don't have the extra income to live that life.

1401
01:19:37,021 --> 01:19:37,482
Right.

1402
01:19:37,482 --> 01:19:41,343
Because sitting in coach or sitting in first class, you're still going to get there.

1403
01:19:41,462 --> 01:19:43,743
Just the experience is a little bit better.

1404
01:19:44,084 --> 01:19:50,515
What I told them, I said, is the foundation of everything that I've built, everything I've
become is this simple.

1405
01:19:50,515 --> 01:19:53,256
And everyone wants to know how to make their life better.

1406
01:19:56,608 --> 01:19:59,270
I did this when I was 14 years old.

1407
01:20:00,846 --> 01:20:07,386
Whatever thing I've always done, everything after we finish with this today, there's many
things I'm going to do.

1408
01:20:07,386 --> 01:20:08,706
have a book club bookstay.

1409
01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,916
I try to do it the absolute best I can.

1410
01:20:11,916 --> 01:20:12,708
Yeah.

1411
01:20:13,972 --> 01:20:19,782
everything else in my life everything happens from that moment

1412
01:20:21,898 --> 01:20:32,321
All the other attributes we talk about, hard work, work ethic, emotional intelligence,
high functioning executive skills, all these things develop and grow and evolve and

1413
01:20:32,321 --> 01:20:37,902
improve and happen from the beginning of everything that we choose to do.

1414
01:20:37,902 --> 01:20:44,794
There are still times, you know, you're supposed to, the leaders boot was supposed to,
they're willing to do anything they ask him about to pick up the trash, sweep a floor and

1415
01:20:44,794 --> 01:20:45,111
all that.

1416
01:20:45,111 --> 01:20:48,305
Well, I don't think we should be doing it every day because there's other, but I'm willing
to.

1417
01:20:48,305 --> 01:20:48,725
Sure.

1418
01:20:48,725 --> 01:20:50,646
If I see it, I will stop.

1419
01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:52,116
And if it needs to happen.

1420
01:20:53,738 --> 01:21:01,621
don't just grab a broom to just make the floor look a little bit better.

1421
01:21:02,382 --> 01:21:11,906
I'm sweeping the floor with the expectation that there is going to be no debris left, none
remaining, not in the corner.

1422
01:21:12,186 --> 01:21:17,608
And if I put a push broom over it and there's debris left over, I'm going to go back over
it again.

1423
01:21:18,409 --> 01:21:21,800
I am not leaving that job undone.

1424
01:21:22,100 --> 01:21:27,940
any less than I perceive it's a job well done I can't tell you

1425
01:21:28,691 --> 01:21:29,243
I don't know.

1426
01:21:29,243 --> 01:21:30,255
Have you always had it?

1427
01:21:30,255 --> 01:21:31,718
um

1428
01:21:32,174 --> 01:21:33,814
I've always been competitive.

1429
01:21:34,235 --> 01:21:37,395
think they kind of go hand in hand a little bit, right?

1430
01:21:37,395 --> 01:21:41,636
But my competition was never against other people.

1431
01:21:42,537 --> 01:21:44,717
I knew when I didn't do well.

1432
01:21:45,238 --> 01:21:47,238
I knew when I could do better.

1433
01:21:47,238 --> 01:21:49,819
And so I always wanted to do it again.

1434
01:21:50,834 --> 01:21:52,100
I lost.

1435
01:21:52,100 --> 01:21:53,480
I want to play again.

1436
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:55,361
You beat me.

1437
01:21:55,361 --> 01:21:56,461
I'm mad.

1438
01:21:56,461 --> 01:21:57,741
I'm not happy with the outcome.

1439
01:21:57,741 --> 01:22:00,617
It goes all the way back to a monopoly board at seven years old.

1440
01:22:00,617 --> 01:22:02,301
Ah, okay.

1441
01:22:03,743 --> 01:22:14,491
And I'm learning, and then all of I know the value of a house on a monopoly board, then I
know the value of a condo on a monopoly board, and then you lose, you understand the

1442
01:22:14,491 --> 01:22:15,111
metric.

1443
01:22:15,111 --> 01:22:20,615
I just know if I don't get the outcome I want for my life, I didn't do it well enough.

1444
01:22:20,615 --> 01:22:22,096
So go back and do it again.

1445
01:22:22,096 --> 01:22:25,278
And I think what's happening is with life being hard,

1446
01:22:25,624 --> 01:22:26,419
Mm-hmm.

1447
01:22:27,094 --> 01:22:31,135
A lot of us think the thing we're doing, feels hard at every level.

1448
01:22:31,515 --> 01:22:32,075
Level up.

1449
01:22:32,075 --> 01:22:35,656
It's going to feel hard again because I developed the skill to conquer that thing.

1450
01:22:37,097 --> 01:22:42,088
So what I know is that set out to do it, do it really well.

1451
01:22:42,088 --> 01:22:46,739
So then what we do is we try to add when it doesn't go well, we add systems, complexity,
CRMs.

1452
01:22:46,739 --> 01:22:47,930
We stack all these things.

1453
01:22:47,930 --> 01:22:52,341
It's like, no, the problem you have is you're not making connections with humans.

1454
01:22:52,561 --> 01:22:54,602
Your CRM is not going to fix that.

1455
01:22:54,602 --> 01:22:56,892
More weeds isn't going to fix that.

1456
01:22:56,898 --> 01:23:02,250
The volume of the attempts of connecting with the human being and trying to know, like,
and trust and have them know you care.

1457
01:23:02,250 --> 01:23:03,403
That's the thing that's going to fix it.

1458
01:23:03,403 --> 01:23:09,528
So the foundation of everything we're doing, why the podcast wasn't good in the beginning,
why it's better now, right?

1459
01:23:09,528 --> 01:23:11,830
Why you're in 20 more keynotes.

1460
01:23:11,830 --> 01:23:15,112
The keynote's going to be just a little bit more refined every time.

1461
01:23:16,374 --> 01:23:21,018
If you care about doing the absolute best job, so push back, come up with a better
analogy.

1462
01:23:21,018 --> 01:23:25,361
You've, you've been highly successful in the athletic space that I wasn't right.

1463
01:23:25,361 --> 01:23:27,092
So you've learned some things there.

1464
01:23:27,170 --> 01:23:29,123
You've been successful in the business world.

1465
01:23:29,123 --> 01:23:32,788
I've had massive success that most people would think in the entrepreneurial world.

1466
01:23:32,788 --> 01:23:33,618
Sure.

1467
01:23:33,859 --> 01:23:41,974
I just believe that the foundation to everything is take that thing you're currently doing
and care about doing it and doing it well.

1468
01:23:41,974 --> 01:23:42,794
Yeah.

1469
01:23:42,875 --> 01:23:43,195
Yeah.

1470
01:23:43,195 --> 01:23:43,886
Can I add to it?

1471
01:23:43,886 --> 01:23:44,256
Go ahead.

1472
01:23:44,256 --> 01:23:44,516
Yeah.

1473
01:23:44,516 --> 01:23:46,718
think it's uh a hundred percent agree.

1474
01:23:46,718 --> 01:23:49,440
It's this culture of excellence, right?

1475
01:23:49,440 --> 01:23:52,282
Where it's yes, if I'm to do it, I'm going to do it right.

1476
01:23:52,423 --> 01:24:04,222
But I think there's a piece of it also do the work, but then look back and if you don't
get it right, go back and figure out what it was.

1477
01:24:04,222 --> 01:24:07,915
But there's this element of, of not overthinking and not being too hard.

1478
01:24:07,915 --> 01:24:11,708
If you, if you feel good about the work you put in, awesome.

1479
01:24:11,810 --> 01:24:14,632
Maybe you don't get the result, right?

1480
01:24:14,813 --> 01:24:16,394
But you can go back and tweak.

1481
01:24:16,394 --> 01:24:20,553
I think what a lot of people do is have, and I was this, I had this, I wanted to be
perfect.

1482
01:24:20,553 --> 01:24:21,648
I wanted to have the perfect touch.

1483
01:24:21,648 --> 01:24:24,420
I wanted to make the perfect presentation, whatever it is.

1484
01:24:24,721 --> 01:24:32,527
The thing that's either speaking coach tell me a couple years ago, Michael Port, he said,
look, John, be helpful, not good.

1485
01:24:33,228 --> 01:24:35,229
Be helpful, not good.

1486
01:24:35,250 --> 01:24:37,592
And that, I was overthinking myself.

1487
01:24:37,592 --> 01:24:38,223
I want to be great.

1488
01:24:38,223 --> 01:24:38,943
I want to be perfect.

1489
01:24:38,943 --> 01:24:40,046
I want to get every word right.

1490
01:24:40,046 --> 01:24:43,057
and he's like, no, no, no, it's just how can you focus and serve the audience?

1491
01:24:43,057 --> 01:24:43,947
You talked about it earlier.

1492
01:24:43,947 --> 01:24:46,908
How do you connect with an audience?

1493
01:24:46,908 --> 01:24:54,360
That one person, that one eye contact, that one word you can say or I can say can change
that person's life, right?

1494
01:24:54,360 --> 01:25:03,332
So, uh yes, but it is, I wanna be clear here, prepare your ass off, yes.

1495
01:25:03,693 --> 01:25:05,333
Put your best foot forward.

1496
01:25:05,333 --> 01:25:07,043
There's a soccer term, play on your front foot.

1497
01:25:07,043 --> 01:25:08,994
Yes, always, put your best out there.

1498
01:25:08,994 --> 01:25:16,747
but also be, if you don't meet the 100 % mark, if you're confident you put your best foot,
okay.

1499
01:25:16,747 --> 01:25:18,778
We can come back to fight another day even if we didn't win.

1500
01:25:18,778 --> 01:25:20,238
That's your Monopoly game.

1501
01:25:20,238 --> 01:25:22,179
And I love that tenacity, right?

1502
01:25:22,179 --> 01:25:29,822
So it's a little bit of a delicate line, because you want to make sure you're finding the
joy in the process as long as you have that.

1503
01:25:29,822 --> 01:25:30,642
Awesome.

1504
01:25:31,705 --> 01:25:32,912
So another conversation.

1505
01:25:32,912 --> 01:25:34,850
Yeah, all the moments haven't been joyous.

1506
01:25:34,850 --> 01:25:36,941
Yeah, but that's okay.

1507
01:25:36,941 --> 01:25:39,042
It's finding the joy and the struggle too.

1508
01:25:39,042 --> 01:25:40,453
That's what I've learned.

1509
01:25:40,453 --> 01:25:42,464
I know hard stuff does not bother me.

1510
01:25:42,464 --> 01:25:45,376
I actually appreciate it and I expect it.

1511
01:25:45,476 --> 01:25:54,561
And it's a bit exhilarating for me now that it's cause when you go through stuff as you
have, know, you just have a different perspective and you go and you talk to your 25 year

1512
01:25:54,561 --> 01:26:01,766
old self or a new up and comer and you're like, and they're all smiling and getting like,
look, dude, it's going to get a little hard.

1513
01:26:01,766 --> 01:26:02,562
just want you to.

1514
01:26:02,562 --> 01:26:03,606
be aware, but it's okay.

1515
01:26:03,606 --> 01:26:04,097
This is good.

1516
01:26:04,097 --> 01:26:05,350
You're going to learn from that.

1517
01:26:06,347 --> 01:26:07,547
agree with them.

1518
01:26:07,547 --> 01:26:09,528
So when you said, can I add to it?

1519
01:26:10,129 --> 01:26:11,130
I agree.

1520
01:26:11,130 --> 01:26:15,793
There's additions to the idea, but they come after.

1521
01:26:16,794 --> 01:26:19,556
think the clarity comes in.

1522
01:26:19,556 --> 01:26:20,497
This is how I function.

1523
01:26:20,497 --> 01:26:26,100
And if people go on from the grow, but I don't need to worry or be concerned with anything
else.

1524
01:26:27,161 --> 01:26:28,162
Just do that job.

1525
01:26:28,162 --> 01:26:34,040
Well, if your job on the soccer field was send the cross, like that's why that's why you

1526
01:26:34,040 --> 01:26:35,181
That's what you were really good at.

1527
01:26:35,181 --> 01:26:35,671
Yeah.

1528
01:26:35,671 --> 01:26:42,956
Make sure when that ball was on your foot, when you're on the left side of the field, when
you send that cross, put it on their foot.

1529
01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:43,426
Right.

1530
01:26:43,426 --> 01:26:49,260
Like if you did that, you probably come off the field and coach is like, good job way to
connect today.

1531
01:26:49,260 --> 01:26:52,302
You participate in the assist of that becoming the goal.

1532
01:26:53,063 --> 01:26:55,945
You'd have to worry about what that guy was going to do with it.

1533
01:26:55,945 --> 01:26:56,235
Right.

1534
01:26:56,235 --> 01:26:57,422
You'd have, I'm assuming you'd have.

1535
01:26:57,422 --> 01:26:57,812
job.

1536
01:26:57,812 --> 01:26:58,322
Right.

1537
01:26:58,322 --> 01:26:58,763
Yes.

1538
01:26:58,763 --> 01:27:00,023
But I was blocked too.

1539
01:27:00,023 --> 01:27:04,845
So this is the other piece of this because sometimes we miss this where we think it's all
about the effort and it is.

1540
01:27:04,845 --> 01:27:05,785
Yes.

1541
01:27:06,466 --> 01:27:08,967
Given level 10 effort all day long.

1542
01:27:09,567 --> 01:27:13,899
But I found for me, I had so much blockage that it didn't matter how hard I worked.

1543
01:27:13,899 --> 01:27:23,973
I was out in training trying to figure this out all day long, but I had this blind spot,
this mess that I was dealing with that I didn't didn't frankly have the awareness to and

1544
01:27:23,973 --> 01:27:25,652
the courage to talk about it.

1545
01:27:25,652 --> 01:27:26,810
as well.

1546
01:27:26,810 --> 01:27:27,685
completely was it?

1547
01:27:27,685 --> 01:27:28,610
We've talked about it.

1548
01:27:28,610 --> 01:27:30,066
What was the blind spot?

1549
01:27:30,738 --> 01:27:37,631
The blind spot honestly was that I was too afraid to express that I was weak, right?

1550
01:27:37,631 --> 01:27:38,530
That I was struggling.

1551
01:27:38,530 --> 01:27:40,322
I didn't want anybody to know.

1552
01:27:40,582 --> 01:27:42,653
Because I always was the guy, right?

1553
01:27:42,653 --> 01:27:46,945
And so again, funny guy, connector, no one would ever think John's struggling.

1554
01:27:47,065 --> 01:27:57,890
And so to go back to that diagnosis, for me to go to my teammates or my coaches and say,
guys, I'm really struggling, which I look back, our team was top 20 in the country for my

1555
01:27:57,890 --> 01:27:58,808
last three years.

1556
01:27:58,808 --> 01:28:01,639
played two sweet 16s, NCAA tournaments.

1557
01:28:02,820 --> 01:28:08,623
I wonder sometimes if I had the courage to go and approach this the right way and go get
the help I need.

1558
01:28:08,623 --> 01:28:08,953
Who knows?

1559
01:28:08,953 --> 01:28:12,145
Maybe I would have left the team or taken a sabbatical.

1560
01:28:12,145 --> 01:28:14,386
I have no idea what would have happened.

1561
01:28:14,627 --> 01:28:18,708
I'm pretty sure my coaches would have been, and my teammates would have been very
supportive.

1562
01:28:19,169 --> 01:28:21,850
That may have connected our team even deeper.

1563
01:28:21,850 --> 01:28:22,261
Right?

1564
01:28:22,261 --> 01:28:24,152
Now it's 25, 30 years ago.

1565
01:28:24,152 --> 01:28:28,534
It's a little, much easier to have these conversations today, I think.

1566
01:28:28,974 --> 01:28:37,791
um Yeah, there's an element there that I think that could have helped push the team to the
next level too, to know somebody was struggling.

1567
01:28:37,791 --> 01:28:39,403
What's cool is having these conversations now.

1568
01:28:39,403 --> 01:28:41,869
I get to talk to my teammates and they hear me on podcasts and different things.

1569
01:28:41,869 --> 01:28:43,966
They're my gosh, we had no idea.

1570
01:28:43,987 --> 01:28:45,488
We had no idea you were going through this.

1571
01:28:45,488 --> 01:28:48,248
And I'm like, yeah, man, I was pretty good at hiding it.

1572
01:28:48,248 --> 01:28:52,863
You know, think the problem is what you said was it could have helped.

1573
01:28:53,818 --> 01:28:56,027
I think that's the issue in our mind.

1574
01:28:56,209 --> 01:28:57,449
Like, it?

1575
01:28:58,392 --> 01:29:01,966
And then that cause of causes indecisive indecision.

1576
01:29:01,966 --> 01:29:03,428
This lacks of a lack of.

1577
01:29:03,428 --> 01:29:04,039
and yes.

1578
01:29:04,039 --> 01:29:09,164
And so this is why I'm able to show up on your podcast, just meeting all you guys for the
first time.

1579
01:29:09,164 --> 01:29:17,502
I don't know a lot of your audience and I'm willing to share a pretty intimate detail
because I've learned that that's where the magic is too.

1580
01:29:17,502 --> 01:29:19,964
And there's this doesn't matter what faith anybody has.

1581
01:29:19,964 --> 01:29:23,247
There's a Bible verse that changed, changed my world about 10 years ago.

1582
01:29:23,247 --> 01:29:24,128
And I was going through this.

1583
01:29:24,128 --> 01:29:27,050
read the Bible for the first time and there's in second Corinthians.

1584
01:29:27,470 --> 01:29:33,990
Paul has this thorn in his side and he has Jesus to remove it and Jesus says, no, my power
is made perfect in your weakness.

1585
01:29:33,990 --> 01:29:36,110
And when you are weak, then you are strong.

1586
01:29:36,110 --> 01:29:41,470
And that freaking blew my mind, because I'm like, oh my gosh, I've been running from this
for all my life.

1587
01:29:41,470 --> 01:29:43,470
I've got to lean into this.

1588
01:29:43,529 --> 01:29:45,190
And it's been layers.

1589
01:29:45,190 --> 01:29:50,390
It's not that I've been perfect with it, but the more, I I go on a stage now and I share
the story.

1590
01:29:50,770 --> 01:29:53,010
You know what's waiting for me at the end, every speech?

1591
01:29:53,010 --> 01:29:54,410
Here's what they say.

1592
01:29:54,892 --> 01:29:55,827
going through this thing.

1593
01:29:55,827 --> 01:29:56,653
went through the same thing.

1594
01:29:56,653 --> 01:29:57,941
It's the same way I feel.

1595
01:29:57,941 --> 01:29:59,305
It's just a mis-

1596
01:29:59,916 --> 01:30:08,590
Especially men our age around our age like they need an outlet and so and that's my
mission is to get whether it's sports or business to free people up.

1597
01:30:08,590 --> 01:30:16,913
Not everybody's got a diagnosis or having a really a mental health thing but a lot of
people are struggling a lot of people need a community and an outlet and a trusted

1598
01:30:16,913 --> 01:30:19,438
environment to to be at their best.

1599
01:30:19,438 --> 01:30:22,326
I don't think this is just current times.

1600
01:30:22,326 --> 01:30:22,572
Yeah.

1601
01:30:22,572 --> 01:30:24,442
I think it's probably what your dad was going through.

1602
01:30:24,442 --> 01:30:24,942
100%.

1603
01:30:24,942 --> 01:30:25,942
Yeah.

1604
01:30:26,063 --> 01:30:27,373
My dad was very similar to me.

1605
01:30:27,373 --> 01:30:29,264
Connector was a fraternity guy.

1606
01:30:29,264 --> 01:30:32,946
Again, like the guy with all his buddies getting everybody together.

1607
01:30:32,946 --> 01:30:36,457
You'd never know it, but still there was still a stigma.

1608
01:30:36,457 --> 01:30:39,528
That's probably why he didn't talk much about it, at least to my knowledge.

1609
01:30:39,528 --> 01:30:47,351
And so that's, you know, for me, I feel like this is an ode to him and my mom that I'm
going to, I want to, and I see my kids struggling with stuff.

1610
01:30:47,351 --> 01:30:48,622
I want to do away with the stigma.

1611
01:30:48,622 --> 01:30:49,387
There's too many people hurting.

1612
01:30:49,387 --> 01:30:52,794
You know, there's 800,000 people that take their own lives every year throughout the
world.

1613
01:30:52,794 --> 01:30:53,900
I didn't until I,

1614
01:30:53,900 --> 01:30:56,034
was doing my research on the book, I didn't realize that.

1615
01:30:56,034 --> 01:31:00,864
And so as we're talking today, that's probably a couple people have taken their lives.

1616
01:31:00,864 --> 01:31:02,627
So that's obviously the extreme.

1617
01:31:02,627 --> 01:31:04,169
It's extremely sad.

1618
01:31:04,270 --> 01:31:06,006
But there's a lot of other people that are hurting.

1619
01:31:06,006 --> 01:31:06,677
Think about that.

1620
01:31:06,677 --> 01:31:09,169
Think about that the experience in this life could be improved.

1621
01:31:09,169 --> 01:31:09,809
Yeah.

1622
01:31:09,809 --> 01:31:14,893
What are you finding when you were able to go to talk with the New England Revolution that
you talked about?

1623
01:31:14,893 --> 01:31:15,233
Yeah.

1624
01:31:15,233 --> 01:31:16,294
um

1625
01:31:17,954 --> 01:31:18,680
What do you feel?

1626
01:31:18,680 --> 01:31:19,884
What'd feel while you were there?

1627
01:31:19,884 --> 01:31:20,754
Yeah.

1628
01:31:21,014 --> 01:31:23,356
Well, it's interesting because I have some connections to the team.

1629
01:31:23,356 --> 01:31:26,027
So their coach, Caleb Porter, and I played together growing up.

1630
01:31:26,027 --> 01:31:28,529
And then he played on that Indiana team I played against.

1631
01:31:28,529 --> 01:31:31,560
And then he became the Columbus crew coach in 19.

1632
01:31:31,560 --> 01:31:33,762
We lost track of each other for a while.

1633
01:31:33,762 --> 01:31:35,573
We ran into each other at a swim meet.

1634
01:31:35,573 --> 01:31:37,743
Our kids were in the same swim club.

1635
01:31:37,824 --> 01:31:40,225
And so we've become very close friends since then.

1636
01:31:40,225 --> 01:31:46,168
um Their assistant coach, Pablo Marrera, went to my high school in Cleveland.

1637
01:31:46,329 --> 01:31:47,389
But guess what?

1638
01:31:47,389 --> 01:31:48,392
He was 10 years younger than me.

1639
01:31:48,392 --> 01:31:49,600
I didn't even know him.

1640
01:31:49,728 --> 01:31:52,999
Actually, last week was the first time I spent time with him.

1641
01:31:53,140 --> 01:31:54,861
And this is how it comes full circle.

1642
01:31:54,861 --> 01:32:03,815
One of my old teammates, Steve Klein, who played for the Revolution in 97, his son just
got signed with the first team two weeks ago, Eric Klein, so he's 18, playing on the first

1643
01:32:03,815 --> 01:32:04,966
team, unbelievable.

1644
01:32:04,966 --> 01:32:07,006
I got to have lunch with him last week.

1645
01:32:07,006 --> 01:32:11,939
So there's all these little connections, and I don't believe in coincidences, I believe
this is a uh divine thing.

1646
01:32:11,939 --> 01:32:13,549
What?

1647
01:32:14,816 --> 01:32:22,666
I felt in the organization, I've had a lot of talks with Caleb about leadership philosophy
and just culture building and all this stuff.

1648
01:32:24,174 --> 01:32:26,454
The connection piece is everywhere.

1649
01:32:26,454 --> 01:32:28,934
I'm sure you see it in your company, everybody that's listening.

1650
01:32:28,934 --> 01:32:34,494
The human connection, that's how the best organizations are run.

1651
01:32:34,834 --> 01:32:39,874
You said it earlier too, the X's and O's matter, they really do.

1652
01:32:40,074 --> 01:32:46,394
But the trust that's built, I felt a joy in the building between everybody.

1653
01:32:46,394 --> 01:32:49,094
see how it works with Yes, yeah.

1654
01:32:49,134 --> 01:32:52,928
The joy, that's every great organization, and frankly I saw or,

1655
01:32:52,928 --> 01:32:54,879
our organization lose that.

1656
01:32:54,879 --> 01:33:00,313
You go public, you have COVID hits, you're not around people as much anymore, you start to
lose that.

1657
01:33:00,313 --> 01:33:02,605
Cultures, it can turn on a dime.

1658
01:33:02,605 --> 01:33:03,805
You lose one key leader.

1659
01:33:03,805 --> 01:33:05,026
I saw that happen too.

1660
01:33:05,026 --> 01:33:06,427
That was the glue.

1661
01:33:06,727 --> 01:33:12,551
All of a sudden, everything gets a little bit more edgy and you don't put the right people
in place and it changes things.

1662
01:33:12,551 --> 01:33:15,553
So yeah, it was fascinating to see.

1663
01:33:15,553 --> 01:33:16,864
And here's the other thing I'll tell you too.

1664
01:33:16,864 --> 01:33:22,658
This is one of the things Caleb said to me last week was uh slow is smooth.

1665
01:33:22,658 --> 01:33:24,398
and smooth as fast.

1666
01:33:25,639 --> 01:33:34,631
And I love that because it's this because I was I got to see behind the scenes and see in,
you know, the whiteboard what they do and they've got the the field and how they organize

1667
01:33:34,631 --> 01:33:41,153
stuff and the whole calendar is on the wall, actually training this day game this and so
and he's got a set process.

1668
01:33:41,153 --> 01:33:46,485
He meets with the medical team at eight thirty every more, whatever it is, and the
assistant coaching team and the set piece guy.

1669
01:33:46,485 --> 01:33:49,085
And then they have training and then they have stuff.

1670
01:33:49,085 --> 01:33:51,866
I mean, it's a very methodical process.

1671
01:33:51,970 --> 01:33:54,504
that he just does, and this guy's won two MLS cups.

1672
01:33:54,504 --> 01:33:56,838
This would be his third one if he can figure out how to win it.

1673
01:33:56,838 --> 01:34:01,068
he's, yeah, so there was a lot of learnings, would say.

1674
01:34:01,068 --> 01:34:04,139
Why is slow smooth and smooth fast?

1675
01:34:07,852 --> 01:34:11,943
I forget if we were on air, you talking about the tortoise and the hare with the podcast.

1676
01:34:12,643 --> 01:34:21,706
Because you, when you go slow and smooth, you learn as you go and you can make these micro
adjustments as you go.

1677
01:34:21,786 --> 01:34:27,007
So you're not, we were big and at CCC, I'm not waiting for the performance review to give
feedback.

1678
01:34:27,007 --> 01:34:27,907
It's constant.

1679
01:34:27,907 --> 01:34:33,389
You want to always be in performance review mode and invite, like tell me what I can be
doing better.

1680
01:34:33,389 --> 01:34:33,779
Right?

1681
01:34:33,779 --> 01:34:37,838
So it's, Hey, I saw this awesome or Hey, there's one thing.

1682
01:34:37,838 --> 01:34:39,121
Maybe we tweak that.

1683
01:34:39,121 --> 01:34:42,045
And so then you get to the end of the year and there's no surprises.

1684
01:34:42,045 --> 01:34:47,173
The standard's already there and it's like a river that's constantly flowing.

1685
01:34:47,478 --> 01:34:52,063
Ray Dalio calls this idea meritocracy.

1686
01:34:52,063 --> 01:34:53,778
The principles that was a dense book.

1687
01:34:53,778 --> 01:34:54,759
yes.

1688
01:34:54,961 --> 01:34:58,764
I have it and I'm not gonna pretend I've read the whole thing, but it's incredible.

1689
01:34:58,764 --> 01:35:03,276
Man, it's so he talks about idea meritocracy.

1690
01:35:03,337 --> 01:35:08,179
the one thing I took away from from that book is how he operated his company, Bridgewater.

1691
01:35:08,179 --> 01:35:13,642
think that the way he operated it was there was idea meritocracy.

1692
01:35:13,642 --> 01:35:21,326
Now meritocracy is coming to our purview now because of society and performance and but he
talks about idea meritocracy.

1693
01:35:21,607 --> 01:35:24,528
The best idea wins.

1694
01:35:25,909 --> 01:35:28,110
And the way he ran meetings.

1695
01:35:28,110 --> 01:35:31,010
I added to what I took away from the book.

1696
01:35:31,010 --> 01:35:42,650
I believe that the right way to go into a meeting, into a relationship, into an event,

1697
01:35:44,467 --> 01:35:50,839
a weekend coaching session, session, any conversation between an employee and an employer.

1698
01:35:51,346 --> 01:35:56,070
I am going in wanting to be wrong.

1699
01:35:56,270 --> 01:35:57,350
Ah.

1700
01:35:59,138 --> 01:36:02,978
Because if I'm wrong, somebody showed me a better way.

1701
01:36:02,978 --> 01:36:03,805
Yeah.

1702
01:36:04,994 --> 01:36:10,037
Their idea of idea meritocracy is you have to be willing to be wrong.

1703
01:36:10,558 --> 01:36:20,525
When you come into the room, we're going to share ideas and there ends up being one person
who needs to be the decisive person who figures out which one of these ideas, that's the

1704
01:36:20,525 --> 01:36:27,471
leader, which one of these ideas is best, but you can't feel precious about your
individual idea.

1705
01:36:27,471 --> 01:36:28,992
So there's a willingness to be wrong.

1706
01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:32,322
And so I said, okay, how can I take that to the next level for me?

1707
01:36:32,322 --> 01:36:33,161
Yeah.

1708
01:36:33,428 --> 01:36:35,623
I go in with the best I've got.

1709
01:36:37,282 --> 01:36:38,673
But I wanna be wrong.

1710
01:36:39,286 --> 01:36:43,029
and you want to give your team the freedom to bring their best.

1711
01:36:43,030 --> 01:36:44,992
I see it in your interactions.

1712
01:36:45,873 --> 01:36:46,854
Yeah.

1713
01:36:47,675 --> 01:36:49,898
So there's no, hey, I'm here and you're here.

1714
01:36:49,898 --> 01:36:54,903
Yeah, of course there's a uh pecking order, but I want you to be freed up to bring your
best.

1715
01:36:54,903 --> 01:36:57,582
That's where the best teams can perform.

1716
01:36:57,582 --> 01:37:11,553
100 % and we are going to be accountable the best teams everyone's accountable
individually and then collectively both So but what he said was he only hires the elite

1717
01:37:12,415 --> 01:37:17,118
But he still finds that 30 % of people are capable of operating in that

1718
01:37:18,882 --> 01:37:20,122
That's what they found.

1719
01:37:20,663 --> 01:37:25,024
So tied to ego, so tied to whatever they're trying to protect.

1720
01:37:25,225 --> 01:37:28,076
And so, so he said, you have to have a willingness to be wrong.

1721
01:37:28,076 --> 01:37:33,088
think I'm paraphrasing, but then I'm like, okay, next level is I want to be wrong.

1722
01:37:33,088 --> 01:37:34,058
I'm willing to participate.

1723
01:37:34,058 --> 01:37:36,449
I'm willing to share, but I want to be wrong, man.

1724
01:37:36,449 --> 01:37:38,450
If that can be the approach, right.

1725
01:37:39,111 --> 01:37:40,041
And you can come back.

1726
01:37:40,041 --> 01:37:45,243
so I, you know, I think that, um, you know, this idea of meritocracy and growth and stuff.

1727
01:37:45,243 --> 01:37:46,174
So you had a big moment.

1728
01:37:46,174 --> 01:37:47,406
Do you think you grew?

1729
01:37:47,406 --> 01:37:50,878
You're going to say yes, but do you you grew in, will you reflect on this time with them?

1730
01:37:50,878 --> 01:37:52,826
Like, wow, this is a defining moment.

1731
01:37:52,826 --> 01:37:54,470
Does it feel like that yet?

1732
01:37:55,551 --> 01:37:57,172
Three days with those with it.

1733
01:37:57,853 --> 01:37:59,669
As you spoke to them, like this was a big.

1734
01:37:59,669 --> 01:38:00,139
Yeah.

1735
01:38:00,139 --> 01:38:02,940
I mean, it's a dream for me to work with pro teams.

1736
01:38:02,940 --> 01:38:06,681
So, um, to ha yes, that's incredible.

1737
01:38:06,681 --> 01:38:11,193
Cause it's, it's, it, what was fun for me is not just about the team and the players.

1738
01:38:11,193 --> 01:38:19,217
That's one thing to see the back office and the way that actually the sporting director
and the head coach communicated and had each other's backs.

1739
01:38:19,217 --> 01:38:21,108
And here's what I got to tell this story real quick.

1740
01:38:21,108 --> 01:38:22,078
This is so cool.

1741
01:38:22,306 --> 01:38:29,189
So when I'm observing practice last Tuesday, they brought out, there's a 77 year old woman
with a revs jersey.

1742
01:38:29,189 --> 01:38:32,670
says team mom in the back and Caleb comes up to me and he says, Hey, you see that woman?

1743
01:38:32,670 --> 01:38:37,332
says, she's a battle cancer for three different times.

1744
01:38:37,332 --> 01:38:40,634
She's our locker room attendant at Gillette stadium.

1745
01:38:40,634 --> 01:38:42,655
That's where they play, where the Patriots play.

1746
01:38:42,655 --> 01:38:44,955
So she opens and closes the locker room for the team.

1747
01:38:44,955 --> 01:38:48,717
And so they invited her out to training and they did a whole piece on her a couple of
weeks ago.

1748
01:38:48,717 --> 01:38:51,118
uh

1749
01:38:51,118 --> 01:38:52,458
I'll talk to anybody.

1750
01:38:52,458 --> 01:38:54,518
So she's walking off the field after training.

1751
01:38:54,518 --> 01:38:56,658
And I said, Hey, I'm John.

1752
01:38:56,658 --> 01:38:58,338
want to introduce myself to you.

1753
01:38:58,338 --> 01:38:59,918
think your name is Deb Ross.

1754
01:39:00,618 --> 01:39:08,198
And, uh, we ended up talking for about two hours and she, had lunch with her and the coach
and some other folks that came.

1755
01:39:08,198 --> 01:39:17,398
did a tour together, but to see the connections that are built at that level to a knit a
77 year old woman, who's your locker room attendant.

1756
01:39:17,398 --> 01:39:18,938
You make her a part of your culture.

1757
01:39:18,938 --> 01:39:20,994
You know, the sign that sends to your team and the

1758
01:39:20,994 --> 01:39:23,435
The players are coming up to her, Hey, Deb, how are you?

1759
01:39:23,435 --> 01:39:24,036
All this stuff.

1760
01:39:24,036 --> 01:39:25,056
was.

1761
01:39:26,057 --> 01:39:27,677
We're all in it together.

1762
01:39:27,718 --> 01:39:29,278
Everybody matters.

1763
01:39:29,599 --> 01:39:32,700
Everybody in your company, everybody matters.

1764
01:39:33,321 --> 01:39:34,742
Cause everybody can vote.

1765
01:39:34,742 --> 01:39:40,244
The least person can turn into the biggest cancer if you don't handle them the right way.

1766
01:39:40,305 --> 01:39:40,655
Right?

1767
01:39:40,655 --> 01:39:46,788
So if you get everybody on the boat together, that's why the vision piece is so important
and communicate, Hey, here's the standard.

1768
01:39:46,788 --> 01:39:47,889
Here's my expectation.

1769
01:39:47,889 --> 01:39:49,470
But I also, I love you guys.

1770
01:39:49,470 --> 01:39:50,156
Let's do it.

1771
01:39:50,156 --> 01:39:53,549
as you said it, let's, yes, individualized, but also the collective.

1772
01:39:53,549 --> 01:39:56,510
If you get that, I've seen both sides of this.

1773
01:39:56,591 --> 01:40:00,413
When you're rowing in the right direction, you, I mean, you crush everything.

1774
01:40:00,413 --> 01:40:01,334
It's unbelievable.

1775
01:40:01,334 --> 01:40:04,146
And you've got everybody's back and your customers feel it.

1776
01:40:04,146 --> 01:40:05,197
my, they feel it.

1777
01:40:05,197 --> 01:40:07,282
When you're not, they feel that.

1778
01:40:07,282 --> 01:40:10,608
Isn't it wild the same group of people could become either?

1779
01:40:11,810 --> 01:40:16,422
Yeah, and no, I mean, that's why leadership is so important.

1780
01:40:17,006 --> 01:40:17,979
What do think leadership is?

1781
01:40:17,979 --> 01:40:21,140
it just John Maxwell says leadership is just influence.

1782
01:40:21,140 --> 01:40:22,131
influence.

1783
01:40:22,131 --> 01:40:25,593
I mean, your book club is how to win friends and influence people, right?

1784
01:40:25,593 --> 01:40:27,294
I love a big Maxwell guy.

1785
01:40:27,294 --> 01:40:28,695
Yes, leadership is influence.

1786
01:40:28,695 --> 01:40:30,306
Sales is, everybody's in sales.

1787
01:40:30,306 --> 01:40:31,366
Everybody's in leadership.

1788
01:40:31,366 --> 01:40:32,727
I don't care about your title, by the way.

1789
01:40:32,727 --> 01:40:34,238
We all influence.

1790
01:40:34,739 --> 01:40:42,003
And so it's how do I get somebody to come alongside me and do something?

1791
01:40:42,043 --> 01:40:43,744
And again, that's trust.

1792
01:40:43,744 --> 01:40:44,565
That's intention.

1793
01:40:44,565 --> 01:40:46,786
That's why I named this book.

1794
01:40:47,374 --> 01:40:51,054
think I've heard you talk about Wayne Dyer, his work, which was very instrumental to me.

1795
01:40:51,054 --> 01:40:55,054
I mean, he was so brilliant at articulating this, the power of intention.

1796
01:40:55,896 --> 01:40:57,506
PBS, man.

1797
01:40:58,128 --> 01:41:00,870
Tell you what, I had no money and I was going through that.

1798
01:41:00,870 --> 01:41:02,531
I had to cancel and shut off my cable.

1799
01:41:02,531 --> 01:41:07,996
I had no money and I would, he just happened to be on PBS.

1800
01:41:07,996 --> 01:41:08,807
That was the station.

1801
01:41:08,807 --> 01:41:11,758
I would still get him and Charlie Rose.

1802
01:41:11,819 --> 01:41:13,660
I'd watch those two guys.

1803
01:41:13,661 --> 01:41:22,708
You watch an elite interviewer, conversationalist about anything and just starting to
listen to Wayne Dyer.

1804
01:41:22,708 --> 01:41:23,707
That was just the beginning.

1805
01:41:23,707 --> 01:41:25,570
All you have to do is you have to just start thinking.

1806
01:41:25,570 --> 01:41:26,366
Yeah.

1807
01:41:26,766 --> 01:41:30,749
So thinking like a better wife, a better way to do things.

1808
01:41:30,909 --> 01:41:32,440
more in control of the outcomes.

1809
01:41:32,440 --> 01:41:41,136
I'm responsible for just, you know, and then in its incremental growth, then I don't know
a fast way to get there.

1810
01:41:41,817 --> 01:41:47,261
I don't, I know a quicker and faster, but I don't know a fast way.

1811
01:41:47,442 --> 01:41:48,062
I don't know.

1812
01:41:48,062 --> 01:41:49,203
Would you do it?

1813
01:41:49,203 --> 01:41:53,906
Would you do it better now and faster now?

1814
01:41:53,932 --> 01:41:54,784
Yeah.

1815
01:41:56,130 --> 01:41:58,347
than when you started, you probably...

1816
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:04,950
I think we'd be naive to think we wouldn't with the knowledge we have now and the wisdom
to do things differently.

1817
01:42:04,950 --> 01:42:09,870
But again, there's so much learning along the way of doing those incremental iterations.

1818
01:42:09,870 --> 01:42:11,909
I think going look back in 10 years and think of the same thing.

1819
01:42:11,909 --> 01:42:14,892
I'm going to be like, man, I would have done it so much faster.

1820
01:42:14,892 --> 01:42:22,026
it's this mindset of continuous improvement and growth that if we show up every day with
this beginner mindset, I'm a student.

1821
01:42:22,026 --> 01:42:25,290
Did Toyota do that?

1822
01:42:25,290 --> 01:42:25,831
is right.

1823
01:42:25,831 --> 01:42:28,920
Just continual growth and improvement with everything all the time.

1824
01:42:28,920 --> 01:42:29,390
That's right.

1825
01:42:29,390 --> 01:42:30,612
It's just incremental.

1826
01:42:30,612 --> 01:42:31,403
you show up?

1827
01:42:31,403 --> 01:42:33,572
James Clear talks about 1 % better every day.

1828
01:42:33,572 --> 01:42:35,658
I a lot of people have talked about that concept.

1829
01:42:35,658 --> 01:42:36,858
yes, it's...

1830
01:42:37,880 --> 01:42:38,440
Absolutely.

1831
01:42:38,440 --> 01:42:38,841
Yeah.

1832
01:42:38,841 --> 01:42:39,422
It's all.

1833
01:42:39,422 --> 01:42:40,110
Yep.

1834
01:42:40,110 --> 01:42:45,314
um What do you think, what's the book that's waiting to be written?

1835
01:42:45,314 --> 01:42:46,975
There's been so many.

1836
01:42:46,975 --> 01:42:48,817
Is there something about society?

1837
01:42:48,817 --> 01:42:52,479
Is there something, is there a book that's waiting to be written that you can think of?

1838
01:42:53,501 --> 01:42:55,628
I didn't have that question written down, but.

1839
01:42:55,628 --> 01:42:57,178
Yeah.

1840
01:42:57,479 --> 01:42:59,579
Can I share my second book?

1841
01:43:01,661 --> 01:43:02,941
No, I'm okay sharing it.

1842
01:43:02,941 --> 01:43:03,281
No.

1843
01:43:03,281 --> 01:43:07,423
uh I think it's starting with who.

1844
01:43:07,443 --> 01:43:09,764
So I love Simon Sinek's Start With Why.

1845
01:43:09,764 --> 01:43:11,405
It's amazing.

1846
01:43:11,644 --> 01:43:15,697
But I actually think it starts with our identity first and who we're showing up as.

1847
01:43:15,697 --> 01:43:21,229
So you talk about the process and that daily incremental growth.

1848
01:43:21,429 --> 01:43:23,650
I believe if we show up each day and

1849
01:43:23,650 --> 01:43:25,791
and we focus on, who am I showing up as today?

1850
01:43:25,791 --> 01:43:28,252
Am I showing up as someone who's courageous?

1851
01:43:28,274 --> 01:43:29,655
Am I willing to be courageous?

1852
01:43:29,655 --> 01:43:35,039
Am I willing to be uh stress-free?

1853
01:43:35,039 --> 01:43:36,571
Am I willing to take a risk?

1854
01:43:36,571 --> 01:43:38,310
Am I willing to grow today?

1855
01:43:38,310 --> 01:43:42,535
It just seems so basic, but I see so many people that get in reactive mode.

1856
01:43:42,535 --> 01:43:43,386
I get there too.

1857
01:43:43,386 --> 01:43:44,948
I'm staying shoulder to shoulder with everybody.

1858
01:43:44,948 --> 01:43:47,129
I actually have to intentionally write this stuff down.

1859
01:43:47,129 --> 01:43:53,006
I think um at least that's my working thesis for my next book is this idea of starting.

1860
01:43:53,006 --> 01:43:54,146
with who.

1861
01:43:55,306 --> 01:43:56,246
Yeah.

1862
01:43:57,406 --> 01:43:58,646
Yeah, willing.

1863
01:43:59,086 --> 01:44:00,866
I read that.

1864
01:44:01,166 --> 01:44:02,966
I think it's Gary John Bishop.

1865
01:44:02,966 --> 01:44:05,626
It's a book called Unfuck Yourself.

1866
01:44:05,626 --> 01:44:08,290
It's got the I don't know if I can say that on here, but that's.

1867
01:44:08,290 --> 01:44:09,043
way worse things.

1868
01:44:09,043 --> 01:44:11,824
I've seen way worse things on here.

1869
01:44:13,238 --> 01:44:14,580
Yeah, he talks about that.

1870
01:44:14,580 --> 01:44:17,504
Are you willing or are you unwilling?

1871
01:44:17,685 --> 01:44:21,511
And I've actually, I've written that down because it's a powerful thing.

1872
01:44:21,511 --> 01:44:26,269
So for me, it's, am I willing to be courageous and keep building this business?

1873
01:44:26,269 --> 01:44:28,892
For example, who's the best coach you've ever.

1874
01:44:29,826 --> 01:44:30,889
and why.

1875
01:44:32,199 --> 01:44:34,326
When I say best, it could be just a great one.

1876
01:44:34,326 --> 01:44:35,246
Yeah.

1877
01:44:36,549 --> 01:44:38,531
Yeah, I would say it's a leader.

1878
01:44:38,531 --> 01:44:41,714
uh Yeah, talking about business.

1879
01:44:41,762 --> 01:44:43,163
I think they're all the same.

1880
01:44:43,163 --> 01:44:47,227
could be a high school coach when you were 15 years older.

1881
01:44:47,227 --> 01:44:50,540
It could have been a VP difference maker at 33.

1882
01:44:50,540 --> 01:44:51,310
Yeah.

1883
01:44:51,310 --> 01:44:52,561
So yeah, it's easy for me.

1884
01:44:52,561 --> 01:44:54,001
Barrett Callahan is his name.

1885
01:44:54,001 --> 01:44:56,272
He was an executive at CCC, not there anymore.

1886
01:44:56,272 --> 01:45:03,153
But um he had this amazing way of kicking you in the ass and also loving you.

1887
01:45:03,454 --> 01:45:06,224
And so I worked for him for a couple of years.

1888
01:45:06,224 --> 01:45:09,152
Actually interesting, during the financial crisis, I worked for him.

1889
01:45:09,152 --> 01:45:10,995
My account was AIG.

1890
01:45:11,176 --> 01:45:12,216
Imagine that, right?

1891
01:45:12,216 --> 01:45:13,736
They weren't buying anything at that point.

1892
01:45:13,736 --> 01:45:16,337
These guys couldn't even wear their logo on their shirt.

1893
01:45:16,337 --> 01:45:17,597
That's how bad it was.

1894
01:45:17,737 --> 01:45:20,198
But uh I moved to a different team.

1895
01:45:20,258 --> 01:45:24,501
Barrett got the head roll of all of our insurance sales division.

1896
01:45:24,721 --> 01:45:25,842
I lost this account.

1897
01:45:25,842 --> 01:45:33,848
uh had another account that was threatening to leave that I thought I was really close
with, and I'm in a bad place, right?

1898
01:45:33,848 --> 01:45:35,489
I'm $10 million book of business.

1899
01:45:35,489 --> 01:45:40,032
I'm about to have $8 million wiped away, and I probably should have been fired.

1900
01:45:40,292 --> 01:45:41,733
He calls me on a Saturday morning.

1901
01:45:41,733 --> 01:45:43,465
I'm getting ready to go take my son.

1902
01:45:43,465 --> 01:45:44,485
was coaching.

1903
01:45:44,485 --> 01:45:45,516
He was little at the time.

1904
01:45:45,516 --> 01:45:48,462
And Barrett said, look, we're not letting you go.

1905
01:45:48,462 --> 01:45:51,723
because I believe in you, but I want you to reinvent yourself.

1906
01:45:52,183 --> 01:45:55,904
And then he pauses and he says, no, no, no, I want you to invent yourself.

1907
01:45:57,185 --> 01:46:02,067
And it was the right encouragement at the right time I needed because I was at a dark
place, man.

1908
01:46:02,067 --> 01:46:02,787
I was low.

1909
01:46:02,787 --> 01:46:08,469
And just to know that a guy had my back and believed in me because that belief is super
powerful.

1910
01:46:08,569 --> 01:46:11,566
And then it freed me up to then build what I ended up.

1911
01:46:11,566 --> 01:46:19,766
building, was resurrected my career, rebuilding my speaking skills, that's whole spiritual
journey, rebuilding my marriage, honestly, because there was a lot of hard stuff with that

1912
01:46:19,766 --> 01:46:21,286
when I was going through all this stuff.

1913
01:46:21,286 --> 01:46:22,926
And then, you know, I pinch myself.

1914
01:46:22,926 --> 01:46:29,966
The fact that I went from almost getting fired to four years later, getting promoted to
lead a team was an unbelievable story.

1915
01:46:29,966 --> 01:46:31,706
And now I get to do this at scale.

1916
01:46:31,706 --> 01:46:33,826
Like I got to the point where, yeah, it was great.

1917
01:46:33,826 --> 01:46:35,826
And I had an impact with my team and the company.

1918
01:46:35,826 --> 01:46:40,626
But now I get to scale this work and impact a lot of people and a lot of companies, a lot
of teams.

1919
01:46:41,526 --> 01:46:44,310
and power of a moment.

1920
01:46:44,310 --> 01:46:45,306
really is.

1921
01:46:45,306 --> 01:46:47,913
It puts weight on me.

1922
01:46:49,036 --> 01:46:49,296
Right?

1923
01:46:49,296 --> 01:46:51,256
And it's not, I don't get upset about it, but...

1924
01:46:51,256 --> 01:46:52,092
Yeah.

1925
01:46:53,528 --> 01:46:56,680
because you gotta make sure in those moments as a leader.

1926
01:46:58,552 --> 01:47:05,306
You got to show up and you have to see them and you have to know the individual.

1927
01:47:05,586 --> 01:47:09,128
And you need to know that it's not that it's your responsibility.

1928
01:47:09,749 --> 01:47:13,051
The John still had to take action, but the power that you have.

1929
01:47:13,812 --> 01:47:17,730
Help someone completely change their life in a moment.

1930
01:47:17,730 --> 01:47:18,513
Yeah.

1931
01:47:24,014 --> 01:47:29,194
without playing collegiate sports, two coaches always significantly stand out.

1932
01:47:29,194 --> 01:47:33,694
then sometimes a third, John Wooden, Nick Saban.

1933
01:47:33,694 --> 01:47:39,054
It's like he's reinvented himself from the, cause when you're the coach of a big team,
you're either loved or hated.

1934
01:47:39,054 --> 01:47:43,154
But now since you're not coaching the team, I think some of those people can love you
more.

1935
01:47:43,154 --> 01:47:44,774
has, there's brilliance coming out of that guy.

1936
01:47:44,774 --> 01:47:45,450
I'm hearing every day.

1937
01:47:45,450 --> 01:47:48,776
You watch on Saturdays for the college football show.

1938
01:47:48,776 --> 01:47:49,528
It's unbelievable.

1939
01:47:49,528 --> 01:47:50,746
ah

1940
01:47:50,746 --> 01:47:55,348
I'm seeing all these clips and I'm like, just brilliance that you can apply throughout
life.

1941
01:47:56,088 --> 01:47:58,629
But there's one guy that I think might be the best.

1942
01:47:58,629 --> 01:48:02,561
might be old Gino or Emma coaching.

1943
01:48:02,561 --> 01:48:06,082
can't women's talk about this at times.

1944
01:48:06,082 --> 01:48:07,793
He 13 championships or something.

1945
01:48:07,793 --> 01:48:10,114
So he says, I'm always about human performance.

1946
01:48:10,114 --> 01:48:13,795
I want to help people achieve their best if they want to.

1947
01:48:14,276 --> 01:48:20,148
And I think he said the most critical and brilliant and intelligent thing that I've heard
a coach say.

1948
01:48:21,166 --> 01:48:25,687
And this probably came from him wrestling with performance and why players didn't.

1949
01:48:25,687 --> 01:48:30,068
And he started out saying, Hey, just so you know, we get the elite of the elite.

1950
01:48:30,489 --> 01:48:38,731
So when they come to us for them to be able to come play basketball at Yukon, they already
have to be the best.

1951
01:48:39,091 --> 01:48:43,572
And he said, even at times the best struggle.

1952
01:48:44,293 --> 01:48:47,133
But he said, I found there's only two reasons why people don't do something.

1953
01:48:47,133 --> 01:48:49,482
It's funny when somebody just whittles it down.

1954
01:48:49,482 --> 01:48:50,412
only two reasons.

1955
01:48:50,412 --> 01:48:56,889
So I'm like, so my whole life, all my leadership, all my performance, there's only two
reasons why people don't do something.

1956
01:48:57,642 --> 01:49:04,828
And he said, one, either you don't know how or two, you just don't feel like.

1957
01:49:07,190 --> 01:49:12,756
And as I wrestle and think about that, everything pretty much fits into it.

1958
01:49:12,977 --> 01:49:20,085
Because as a coach, I didn't hear where we went further, but which of those does a coach
want the player to have either?

1959
01:49:20,085 --> 01:49:21,557
I don't know how, or I don't feel like it.

1960
01:49:21,557 --> 01:49:24,670
Which one does the coach hope that their mindset is?

1961
01:49:25,131 --> 01:49:26,973
I don't know how, because what's the coach do?

1962
01:49:26,973 --> 01:49:27,886
What's the coach doing?

1963
01:49:27,886 --> 01:49:29,907
You can teach them how to do it.

1964
01:49:29,907 --> 01:49:32,789
But if you don't feel like it, and that's where it comes back to the effort.

1965
01:49:32,789 --> 01:49:33,990
You can't coach.

1966
01:49:33,990 --> 01:49:35,591
Yeah, it's so true.

1967
01:49:35,611 --> 01:49:38,713
But the player has to have the capacity to get there.

1968
01:49:39,193 --> 01:49:40,622
They are, yes, got it.

1969
01:49:40,622 --> 01:49:41,242
So that's what he said.

1970
01:49:41,242 --> 01:49:44,470
So I'm saying this in the context of everyone here is already illegal.

1971
01:49:44,470 --> 01:49:45,314
Yes.

1972
01:49:45,314 --> 01:49:49,388
So, and I've heard him talk about the effort, he can't coach effort.

1973
01:49:49,388 --> 01:49:49,729
Yep.

1974
01:49:49,729 --> 01:49:50,151
Yep.

1975
01:49:50,151 --> 01:49:51,256
And at that level.

1976
01:49:51,256 --> 01:50:00,683
He talks about their, he talks body language, He said, if I see you that you didn't get
the shot, that anything, if I see you over here on the bench, not cheering for your

1977
01:50:00,683 --> 01:50:02,262
teammates, he said, you will never pull.

1978
01:50:02,262 --> 01:50:04,605
Yeah, there's the standard.

1979
01:50:04,646 --> 01:50:06,295
Everybody knows when they come in.

1980
01:50:06,295 --> 01:50:10,557
Now probably every player that gets recruited knows that better show up, right?

1981
01:50:10,557 --> 01:50:11,800
That's so good.

1982
01:50:11,800 --> 01:50:14,051
So either they don't know how, or they don't feel like it.

1983
01:50:14,051 --> 01:50:20,614
And I think what he's probably broken it down to, I have the solution for every lack of
performance that doesn't look up to the standard.

1984
01:50:20,614 --> 01:50:27,166
And I bet since he believes it, how many times do you think those players and those
coaches and everybody in the organization, when he's not getting the outcome he wants,

1985
01:50:27,166 --> 01:50:28,516
he's like, which one is it?

1986
01:50:28,917 --> 01:50:31,050
You don't know how, or you don't feel like it.

1987
01:50:31,050 --> 01:50:31,764
huh.

1988
01:50:31,764 --> 01:50:32,565
Wow.

1989
01:50:33,454 --> 01:50:35,694
Think about, see I'm thinking about that as a leader.

1990
01:50:36,254 --> 01:50:39,350
Think about, you have massive action in all those moments.

1991
01:50:39,350 --> 01:50:40,190
Yep.

1992
01:50:40,452 --> 01:50:48,090
And do you know, do you think he knows or do you know as a leader, just innately, what the
answer is?

1993
01:50:48,826 --> 01:50:50,227
Yeah, yeah.

1994
01:50:50,930 --> 01:50:53,153
And providing the safe environment, to be honest.

1995
01:50:53,153 --> 01:50:53,434
That's it.

1996
01:50:53,434 --> 01:50:53,932
Yeah.

1997
01:50:53,932 --> 01:50:54,302
Yep.

1998
01:50:54,302 --> 01:51:01,528
But I think the part that you don't feel safe about is if you do speak up and say, don't
feel like it, that's probably not going to go well with a coach like that.

1999
01:51:01,728 --> 01:51:02,608
Right.

2000
01:51:02,889 --> 01:51:11,416
So I don't know if you feel good about that or not, but you want them be honest if they
don't know how, because the only, the only option that this is okay, because you know, the

2001
01:51:11,416 --> 01:51:16,450
standard is, is you don't know how and they are leaving the opening that they're willing
to help you grow.

2002
01:51:16,450 --> 01:51:19,102
See that that's the positive about it.

2003
01:51:19,103 --> 01:51:19,373
Right.

2004
01:51:19,373 --> 01:51:21,144
If you raise your hands, I don't know.

2005
01:51:21,144 --> 01:51:23,608
Well, we're going to get busy really quick.

2006
01:51:23,608 --> 01:51:24,400
Yeah.

2007
01:51:24,544 --> 01:51:28,701
on helping you develop the skills and the understanding on how to execute the thing.

2008
01:51:28,902 --> 01:51:30,866
But cause what's he already know that they've gotten there?

2009
01:51:30,866 --> 01:51:31,727
What does he see?

2010
01:51:31,727 --> 01:51:33,149
What does he already know?

2011
01:51:33,852 --> 01:51:36,295
For the most part, they know how.

2012
01:51:36,336 --> 01:51:37,958
So what's he really talking?

2013
01:51:37,960 --> 01:51:41,834
But don't you think there is an element a coach or a leader can get out of effort?

2014
01:51:41,834 --> 01:51:44,525
Just someone given an eight or nine effort.

2015
01:51:44,767 --> 01:51:46,558
You think you can get them to a 10?

2016
01:51:46,910 --> 01:51:47,414
Yeah.

2017
01:51:47,414 --> 01:51:48,654
You know what?

2018
01:51:48,654 --> 01:51:50,913
I think we can all improve because I my wife.

2019
01:51:50,913 --> 01:51:52,634
So I don't know how long it's going to take.

2020
01:51:52,634 --> 01:51:56,874
I know the higher we get, the longer it takes to achieve the smaller anchor.

2021
01:51:56,874 --> 01:51:59,994
Cause it's just, once you get to an eight or nine, you're outpacing almost everyone.

2022
01:51:59,994 --> 01:52:00,454
Right.

2023
01:52:00,454 --> 01:52:00,834
Right.

2024
01:52:00,834 --> 01:52:03,294
And there's no marker almost for the 10.

2025
01:52:03,294 --> 01:52:03,614
Yeah.

2026
01:52:03,614 --> 01:52:05,494
Like the 10 is probably perfection.

2027
01:52:05,494 --> 01:52:09,294
And it's very rare that I have perfection.

2028
01:52:09,814 --> 01:52:11,494
It is rare.

2029
01:52:12,054 --> 01:52:16,846
And when I have it, usually I don't reproduce it every single exact time.

2030
01:52:16,846 --> 01:52:18,706
I perform above standard.

2031
01:52:18,706 --> 01:52:20,086
So it's acceptable.

2032
01:52:20,086 --> 01:52:20,746
We make money.

2033
01:52:20,746 --> 01:52:21,706
The outcome's good.

2034
01:52:21,706 --> 01:52:24,066
We have 20 and 30 % year over year gross.

2035
01:52:24,066 --> 01:52:28,366
These things are like, you're Perfection.

2036
01:52:29,206 --> 01:52:30,046
I love it.

2037
01:52:30,046 --> 01:52:31,146
I'm trying for it.

2038
01:52:31,146 --> 01:52:35,506
These people say that, listen, know, anxiety and stress, no, I'm trying.

2039
01:52:36,606 --> 01:52:38,046
Yeah, I want it right.

2040
01:52:38,046 --> 01:52:42,826
When I fall short though, I'm not going to beat myself up tremendously, but I'm gonna hold
myself accountable, do a little better.

2041
01:52:42,826 --> 01:52:45,126
But I think that he believes

2042
01:52:45,132 --> 01:52:53,488
that once you become a Yukon women's basketball player, I think he believes they know how.

2043
01:52:53,488 --> 01:53:00,813
So I think what he believes probably, and when you hear him talk and I'm putting words in
his mouth, I don't know what he would say sitting across, but I actually believe that

2044
01:53:00,813 --> 01:53:07,377
every moment that they don't live up to the standard, 99 % of the time for the most part,
they don't feel like it.

2045
01:53:07,498 --> 01:53:08,218
Right.

2046
01:53:08,218 --> 01:53:12,081
Now that's different if they haven't achieved that level of success.

2047
01:53:12,081 --> 01:53:14,282
But what's the standard we're always working towards?

2048
01:53:14,382 --> 01:53:16,622
Um, what do you see yourself?

2049
01:53:16,622 --> 01:53:20,302
You had, as we wrap up here, where I could talk to you forever, man.

2050
01:53:20,302 --> 01:53:22,762
You're just, yeah, you're, you're all, yeah, I love it, man.

2051
01:53:22,762 --> 01:53:25,282
think you're, you have an ability to impact people.

2052
01:53:25,282 --> 01:53:28,522
You're, you're a tremendous, this is supposed to be your tremendous listener.

2053
01:53:29,162 --> 01:53:31,622
You take it in your process.

2054
01:53:31,622 --> 01:53:33,122
You're very thoughtful.

2055
01:53:33,162 --> 01:53:36,462
People were very lucky to be led by you and to be on the same team.

2056
01:53:36,462 --> 01:53:37,462
hundred percent.

2057
01:53:37,462 --> 01:53:38,142
Yep.

2058
01:53:38,222 --> 01:53:42,082
So do you think you, you left anything with the revolution when you were there?

2059
01:53:42,082 --> 01:53:43,782
You took so many things away.

2060
01:53:43,810 --> 01:53:45,405
Do you think you left something?

2061
01:53:46,728 --> 01:53:47,798
We'll see.

2062
01:53:47,978 --> 01:53:50,339
I had some great conversations.

2063
01:53:50,899 --> 01:53:57,381
I actually have a call tomorrow with one of their medical staff guys to talk through some
potential stuff.

2064
01:53:57,381 --> 01:53:59,101
I don't know what it's going to be yet.

2065
01:53:59,562 --> 01:54:08,084
I didn't speak to the team and you normally I would go in and do like a little mini
keynote, but this was a pretty informal engagement and it's just, they opened the doors to

2066
01:54:08,084 --> 01:54:13,012
me for two days to go and hang out, which is even actually kind of cooler to be able to
have these conversations.

2067
01:54:13,012 --> 01:54:14,346
I'm sitting at lunch.

2068
01:54:14,438 --> 01:54:16,458
you're in this professional sports organization.

2069
01:54:16,458 --> 01:54:17,780
They've got a catered lunch coming in.

2070
01:54:17,780 --> 01:54:19,942
The players are coming in and out.

2071
01:54:20,763 --> 01:54:23,394
I'm talking with Pablo, who's the assistant coach.

2072
01:54:23,394 --> 01:54:26,126
And we had an incredible conversation.

2073
01:54:27,047 --> 01:54:29,068
both played for the same high school coach.

2074
01:54:29,068 --> 01:54:31,950
And this guy passed away from cancer about 10 years ago.

2075
01:54:32,718 --> 01:54:39,185
I think what I left with them, hopefully, is the listening, what you picked up on.

2076
01:54:39,185 --> 01:54:42,278
That's where I'm learning as the older I get.

2077
01:54:42,278 --> 01:54:43,138
That's my...

2078
01:54:43,138 --> 01:54:47,280
That's my superpower, this ability to build trust quickly and connect with people.

2079
01:54:47,800 --> 01:55:00,386
so uh believe me, I would love to do a big engagement with them, but I also want to trust
the process and show up ready to serve and let that happen how it needs to happen, if that

2080
01:55:00,386 --> 01:55:01,446
makes sense.

2081
01:55:02,087 --> 01:55:10,390
hopefully I left just love and care and some trust and had some great, uh the head coach
called his son was trying out for a team.

2082
01:55:11,116 --> 01:55:15,929
and put it on speaker, him and I are in his office and he asked me to give his son some
advice.

2083
01:55:15,929 --> 01:55:20,752
was overthinking the day before at tryouts, he's trying, you know, back for the second
day.

2084
01:55:20,752 --> 01:55:30,158
So being able to actually talk to the guy's son and say, Jake, man, just show up free, do
the best you can, focus on your teammates.

2085
01:55:30,599 --> 01:55:32,180
That's the unlock.

2086
01:55:32,200 --> 01:55:33,963
I actually share, be helpful, not good.

2087
01:55:33,963 --> 01:55:35,482
I say, this is what helps me speaking.

2088
01:55:35,482 --> 01:55:37,924
I think about what I want the audience to feel.

2089
01:55:37,924 --> 01:55:39,255
It takes the pressure off myself.

2090
01:55:39,255 --> 01:55:41,226
Think about what you want people to feel.

2091
01:55:41,582 --> 01:55:46,302
Um, so hopefully, you know, spread a little love and care with that.

2092
01:55:46,302 --> 01:55:47,182
So we'll see.

2093
01:55:47,182 --> 01:55:49,042
think some seed, good seeds were planted.

2094
01:55:49,762 --> 01:55:50,462
Yeah.

2095
01:55:50,462 --> 01:55:51,702
Yeah, maybe.

2096
01:55:52,042 --> 01:55:53,222
don't know.

2097
01:55:54,582 --> 01:56:03,722
That look, the ideal state for me is to be a trusted advisor for a few or not a few,
hopefully more than that organizations, either companies and sports teams, some early

2098
01:56:03,722 --> 01:56:04,122
stages.

2099
01:56:04,122 --> 01:56:09,452
I've got some consulting clients and some coaching clients now doing the speaking, but
yeah, that's the ideal state where I go deep.

2100
01:56:09,452 --> 01:56:12,514
I've got an assessment tool that I'm building that's coming out here pretty soon.

2101
01:56:12,514 --> 01:56:17,927
Being able to give someone awareness, know what your strengths are, know what your
weaknesses are, those sorts of things.

2102
01:56:17,927 --> 01:56:20,098
that, yeah, that's the vision of this thing.

2103
01:56:20,098 --> 01:56:26,241
And then, willing, I scale this where I have other coaches, because I'm not going to be
able to scale myself over time.

2104
01:56:26,241 --> 01:56:31,754
So having other people that know the with intention framework and model and can help build
into people too.

2105
01:56:32,012 --> 01:56:39,275
as you're building your company and of course you want people to go to your website and
buy the book and engage.

2106
01:56:39,275 --> 01:56:40,978
um Did I say it right?

2107
01:56:40,978 --> 01:56:41,549
Giganti?

2108
01:56:41,549 --> 01:56:42,480
Giganti.

2109
01:56:44,187 --> 01:56:46,711
heard so many through the years, believe me, that's really good.

2110
01:56:46,711 --> 01:56:48,626
uh

2111
01:56:48,626 --> 01:56:49,498
sure they get that right.

2112
01:56:49,498 --> 01:56:51,982
um What's the best way to engage with you?

2113
01:56:51,982 --> 01:56:52,933
Just go to your website.

2114
01:56:52,933 --> 01:56:57,006
You can just access all the social medias and buy the book.

2115
01:56:57,006 --> 01:56:58,368
Yeah, I've got everything on there.

2116
01:56:58,368 --> 01:56:59,089
I'm on LinkedIn.

2117
01:56:59,089 --> 01:57:00,371
I publish pretty much every day.

2118
01:57:00,371 --> 01:57:04,982
I've got some stuff on Instagram too, but yeah, everything on my website is there.

2119
01:57:04,982 --> 01:57:08,642
Is this social media world, um, was it new to you?

2120
01:57:08,642 --> 01:57:10,103
Yeah, it's interesting, right?

2121
01:57:10,103 --> 01:57:14,284
This idea of putting content out.

2122
01:57:14,284 --> 01:57:17,756
I've always been on Facebook and Instagram, but more personal stuff.

2123
01:57:17,756 --> 01:57:24,388
now that I'm promoting myself and my services, that's very different than working for a
company and selling software.

2124
01:57:24,388 --> 01:57:27,850
uh But I've been pretty consistent with it.

2125
01:57:27,850 --> 01:57:28,540
It's been fun.

2126
01:57:28,540 --> 01:57:29,471
And you've got to surround it.

2127
01:57:29,471 --> 01:57:32,882
I've got a great team that helps me produce content, much like you guys here.

2128
01:57:32,882 --> 01:57:36,373
You've got to invest in that, I think, to put it out the right way.

2129
01:57:36,373 --> 01:57:37,514
It's been fun.

2130
01:57:37,966 --> 01:57:38,626
been good to do.

2131
01:57:38,626 --> 01:57:39,326
it fun?

2132
01:57:39,866 --> 01:57:40,966
Of course.

2133
01:57:40,966 --> 01:57:42,646
And you got to get out of your own way, right?

2134
01:57:42,646 --> 01:57:50,726
It's like you show up for a podcast interview and you got some nerves and butterflies and
it's this whole thing of how do you change the nerves into excitement?

2135
01:57:50,726 --> 01:57:59,686
And so every time I do a shoot, these guys come over usually to my house for three hours
and we shoot eight reels and we do these carousels and whatnot.

2136
01:58:00,566 --> 01:58:03,406
And it always goes well, but there are always moments of like,

2137
01:58:03,406 --> 01:58:04,448
Is this the right content?

2138
01:58:04,448 --> 01:58:05,602
What's going to resonate with people?

2139
01:58:05,602 --> 01:58:07,006
Because you really want to make a difference.

2140
01:58:07,006 --> 01:58:09,794
mean, you're doing this not just to grow your brand.

2141
01:58:09,794 --> 01:58:11,248
You want to make a difference in people's lives.

2142
01:58:11,248 --> 01:58:12,142
I know that can feel that.

2143
01:58:12,142 --> 01:58:19,342
I wish I had conversations, whether they're elite or not, they're conversations about life
and about experience and about growth.

2144
01:58:21,002 --> 01:58:25,502
I learned the most in life through reading biographies of others.

2145
01:58:27,042 --> 01:58:34,102
Whether it's Steve Jobs, whether it's Elon Musk, whether it's Theodore Roosevelt, could be
John Adams.

2146
01:58:34,102 --> 01:58:35,582
That's what I learned the most.

2147
01:58:35,582 --> 01:58:38,922
It feels like you're living the experience and I'm learning good and bad.

2148
01:58:38,922 --> 01:58:39,352
Yeah.

2149
01:58:39,352 --> 01:58:41,244
from those individuals and you can learn.

2150
01:58:41,244 --> 01:58:44,817
And I'm hoping that that's what these conversations are and not people of the past.

2151
01:58:44,817 --> 01:58:46,308
What's happening right now.

2152
01:58:47,428 --> 01:58:49,661
And I think it could help the learning curve a little bit more.

2153
01:58:49,661 --> 01:58:56,077
just, if there's one thing I could leave with people all the time in my life, I say this
to the people I lead.

2154
01:58:56,077 --> 01:58:57,258
said, Hey,

2155
01:58:59,318 --> 01:59:09,227
In the beginning, when you start on new journeys and starting to achieve what you believe
is an outcome you want for your life or some other, I don't know, metric that we feel

2156
01:59:09,227 --> 01:59:11,208
successful and that life was good enough.

2157
01:59:11,209 --> 01:59:13,330
I just wish I could give you a shot.

2158
01:59:14,798 --> 01:59:15,818
confidence.

2159
01:59:17,278 --> 01:59:18,718
That's it.

2160
01:59:18,918 --> 01:59:23,098
Because with that, you will keep going.

2161
01:59:23,938 --> 01:59:25,918
And that is what I have seen.

2162
01:59:25,918 --> 01:59:28,398
Try to do well, but just keep going.

2163
01:59:28,618 --> 01:59:32,778
If you really want it, don't quit and keep going.

2164
01:59:32,778 --> 01:59:34,678
Regardless of all the other things.

2165
01:59:34,678 --> 01:59:35,938
I think that's all the stuff we get caught up on.

2166
01:59:35,938 --> 01:59:39,158
Just the confidence part is like, can do this.

2167
01:59:39,318 --> 01:59:40,298
I can.

2168
01:59:40,358 --> 01:59:41,850
Regardless of all that, I can do this.

2169
01:59:41,850 --> 01:59:42,490
know I can.

2170
01:59:42,490 --> 01:59:49,450
Look, I want to give you a quick praise here because you show up with confidence and I'd
actually call it belief.

2171
01:59:49,450 --> 01:59:54,490
what I actually believe belief is confidence with humility intertwined in there.

2172
01:59:54,490 --> 01:59:54,650
Right.

2173
01:59:54,650 --> 01:59:55,250
You need both.

2174
01:59:55,250 --> 01:59:56,770
And I've seen I've watched enough of your stuff.

2175
01:59:56,770 --> 01:59:58,030
I've seen you interact with the team.

2176
01:59:58,030 --> 01:59:59,390
I appreciate that out of you.

2177
01:59:59,390 --> 02:00:02,670
You just I mean, you're a strong personality, right?

2178
02:00:02,670 --> 02:00:04,690
But it's a caring personality, too.

2179
02:00:04,690 --> 02:00:06,886
So that thank you for saying that.

2180
02:00:07,063 --> 02:00:13,569
And I just want us to go out here and just make our lives just a little bit better.

2181
02:00:13,871 --> 02:00:15,512
And I know we can.

2182
02:00:16,233 --> 02:00:17,109
All of us can.

2183
02:00:17,109 --> 02:00:19,665
keep doing what you're doing because your content's great.

2184
02:00:19,665 --> 02:00:21,578
Obviously, you're making an impact.

2185
02:00:21,578 --> 02:00:23,634
can't Yeah, right.

2186
02:00:23,634 --> 02:00:25,236
That's what I'm pumped for.

2187
02:00:25,389 --> 02:00:28,951
I'm going to look back and be like, thank goodness he was willing to go on that journey.

2188
02:00:28,951 --> 02:00:33,553
And the team was because without that, we wouldn't have learned to be able to become this
thing.

2189
02:00:33,814 --> 02:00:39,697
Thanks for coming along for the ride on a wonderful, and you get to come down here and
spend time with a guy that's really good.

2190
02:00:39,697 --> 02:00:42,619
You'll probably go to a late lunch and hang out and do our stuff.

2191
02:00:42,619 --> 02:00:48,162
Go back to Columbus, the big capital city of Ohio that doesn't have much culture.

2192
02:00:48,692 --> 02:00:52,517
Cleveland and Sensei are the cultural hubs of the state of Ohio.

2193
02:00:52,517 --> 02:00:54,019
Okay, I know I'm not supposed to say mean things.

2194
02:00:54,019 --> 02:00:55,922
was OHIO people.

2195
02:00:55,922 --> 02:00:58,305
But what is, is there something good about Columbus as we wrap up?

2196
02:00:58,305 --> 02:00:59,336
there, there something good?

2197
02:00:59,336 --> 02:01:00,998
Cause I don't really know of any.

2198
02:01:02,650 --> 02:01:03,831
There is, there is.

2199
02:01:03,831 --> 02:01:05,571
It is a great place to raise a family.

2200
02:01:05,571 --> 02:01:08,702
uh It's interesting, it's a very transient place.

2201
02:01:08,702 --> 02:01:17,222
So especially, I'm in a town called New Albany, so you get a lot of people that come in
and out, and we've met some incredible friends, just good people, and high performers.

2202
02:01:17,222 --> 02:01:21,456
I mean, you get some high executives and different folks, a lot of good people.

2203
02:01:22,576 --> 02:01:26,257
Great place to raise a family.

2204
02:01:26,257 --> 02:01:29,238
It's easy to get around, very easy.

2205
02:01:29,250 --> 02:01:31,211
getting a little harder at times during rush hour.

2206
02:01:31,211 --> 02:01:32,913
And there's enough culture.

2207
02:01:32,913 --> 02:01:34,484
It just doesn't have the history, right?

2208
02:01:34,484 --> 02:01:36,936
You come down 71, you see Cincinnati, it's beautiful.

2209
02:01:36,936 --> 02:01:37,737
You go to Cleveland.

2210
02:01:37,737 --> 02:01:40,799
I take my family to Cleveland and they're like, why would you do such a thing?

2211
02:01:40,799 --> 02:01:41,620
What, Cleveland?

2212
02:01:41,620 --> 02:01:42,240
Yeah, right.

2213
02:01:42,240 --> 02:01:45,570
No, they say it's so old, dad, why are we there?

2214
02:01:45,570 --> 02:01:48,115
I mean, but there's so much history to it and ethnicity.

2215
02:01:48,115 --> 02:01:49,370
It's beautiful place.

2216
02:01:49,370 --> 02:01:50,246
All right.

2217
02:01:50,628 --> 02:01:54,353
Thanks for coming to Sensei.

2218
02:01:54,353 --> 02:01:57,038
love and kudos on what you've done so far.

2219
02:01:57,038 --> 02:02:00,280
uh hope the future is everything that you want it be.

2220
02:02:00,280 --> 02:02:01,152
Thank you