#133 - Amanda Goetz on Redefining Success: Intentional Hustle vs. Toxic Grit

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So my definition for toxic grit is hustle without intention.

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Like I'm not here to tell you not to be ambitious.

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And yet so many people are like, rest, it's okay.

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Like, let's it's like, no, many of us are here to do big things, but how do you create the
intentionality?

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So a lot of the things we talked about, those different versions of yourself, how do you
create space for them?

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So that not one takes over because that to me is when burnout happened.

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All right, you all, so we're back.

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Um, so I'm really pumped and excited today's guests.

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I'm to look down because it's such a good introduction, um, that, through all these ways
of great producers and chat GPT and every once in while, my brain, come up with something

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good to say, but today we had a lot of good to say.

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So today's guest, it's someone who has redefined what it means to build boldly and live
intentionally.

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Amanda gets, she's the former VP of marketing at the knot, the founder of house of wise, a
premium wellness brand.

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And now the voice behind life's a game of movement and mindset reshaping how we think
about success, self care and entrepreneurship.

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She's built brands, raised capital, navigated personal challenges and stayed fiercely
authentic through it all.

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Amanda, welcome to the necessary entrepreneur.

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Yeah.

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So what about that introduction?

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Is that accurate?

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Does there need to be more there?

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No, it feels accurate.

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mean, when you've had a 20 plus year career, you're like, yeah, okay, we've done some
stuff.

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20 plus years.

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What's your mindset or perspective on the career and the place you're at now versus 20
years ago, how Amanda was processing things.

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There's a book called The Second Mountain.

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I don't know if you've heard of it, but it so accurately describes where I'm at right now.

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So I turned 40 this year and I've got my three kids.

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And the book defines like your first mountain that you climb is all about the ego and
titles and building up your ego.

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Then you kind of go through this valley of like, who am I?

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What is my purpose?

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And then your second mountain is all about shedding your ego and living with intention and
impact and purpose and building alongside people and collaboration.

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So the first mountain is really like individualistic.

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The second mountain is about bringing other people with you and how do you, and I feel
that like I spend a lot more time coaching and mentoring and.

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It's less about me building my own startups and businesses and now supporting other people
to be successful.

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Do you think we should do it differently or that's the way it just has to be?

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first and second mountain.

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Think that you, when you're, think about your 20s.

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I have three kids and I know as a parent, anytime I tell them, hey, I've done this
mistake, don't do this mistake.

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There's a huge benefit to them making that mistake and learning from it themselves than me
avoiding it for them.

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Cause they're not going to learn through it and through

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that kind of individualistic, egocentric life, you also learn a lot about who you are so
that you can make better decisions.

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I just think that your 20s and 30s are all about learning, exploring, and discovering.

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And then you can kind of take the, like, the clay of life and start to mold it into
something that's actually going to last beyond when you're gone.

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It sounds like inevitable pain.

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Isn't that life?

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I guess that's what we're trying to, yeah, I guess we're just trying to help people
shorten that some, not to take it away, right?

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Because I think what you're speaking about with your kids is for them to develop
resilience through some of these hard times.

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Yeah, I know we were talking a little bit like I come from a very humble upbringing.

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My dad was the town plumber and I grew up not wealthy at all.

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Like we were pretty poor and my parents have never been on an airplane.

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Like they don't really leave the state of Illinois.

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Like they're very small town people.

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I grew up on a farm and I think about a lot like

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going to college was hard for me.

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Like I had to learn everything for the first time.

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And then I got a divorce in my thirties with three young kids.

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like all of these things that have happened to me made me stronger and have these moments
of self-reflection.

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And anytime I meet someone that I really am like drawn to magnetically, I...

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tend to find that they've gone through hard stuff and it builds character and it gives
them resilience but also empathy and context and nuance.

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Because when you don't go through hard times, it's really hard for you to have empathy and
nuance when you're looking at other people's situations.

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So many places we can go here.

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What, um, what are you really, what, what'd you learn in those twenties and thirties?

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Cause we could probably sit and talk for a five or a six hour podcast and set records
right on all the hardship and how you overcome it and all the moments where it felt like,

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it possible and is it worth it?

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I every human goes through those hard times and you've arrived at this place where, um,
you're more purposeful now about this next, um,

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season of your career, it seems, and what you're helping people work through than any of
the previous ones that built the success for you.

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Yeah, I think throughout my whole career, it's always been about the process versus the
outcome.

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And to me, that's what creates intentionality.

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If you are constantly searching how to make a million dollars, you will live a miserable
life.

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But if you start to get really, really passionate about a skill set,

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or like for the past two years, it's for me, it's just been about like, how can I become
the best writer?

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What do I need to learn?

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How do I like, how do I keep refining my style and my voice?

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And that led to a book deal.

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And now I have a book coming out.

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It wasn't about I'm launching a newsletter to get a book deal.

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was about the process of writing and

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We live in such a dopamine addicted society where we have everything served to us within
seconds.

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Like AI gives us everything that we could ever want and think about.

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And I'm really, I say this a lot, like critical thinking is now going to be the
superpower.

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Being able to refine your own thinking and skillsets and be able to like pursue something
with

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like passion and novelty, when you could leapfrog and just get to the end, the magic and
like the intentionality comes from the process itself.

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So I love it because it feels so simple to you now.

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Yeah.

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I was in love with the process.

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this, the same with like, I built a VC back company and sold that a few years ago.

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And the same thing, I wasn't starting a company with the end goal of selling it.

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That is a outcome that happens.

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I was starting a company because I was so passionate about the mission of helping women
create space.

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for all the roles that they have in life.

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And the more and more I like honed in on that problem and how I'm uniquely positioned to
solve it, the company would grow and grow and grow.

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The second I just start to like focus on, my gosh, we have to hit a million dollars this
month or, know, whatever like KPI things would go south every single time.

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If I could just keep focus on what's the mission, what is the problem I'm trying to solve,
that's when things would go well.

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Do you think that you are perfectly or uniquely positioned because of your experience
going through a divorce, single mom in your 30s, how you grew up, the life experience?

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Yeah, I think now more than ever, people connect with the humanity behind somebody.

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This is why I'm so like big on building portfolio career in a personal brand.

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Because if you think that you can start a business and not show up and have some human
connection, that's you, you're making it 10 times harder for yourself because people can.

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not only connect with people, but they also now more than ever care what you stand for and
who you are and what your belief system is.

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There's tons of research that shows, especially if you're trying to reach younger
generations, they care about where you stand.

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Isn't it funny you say younger generations?

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When did that happen when we weren't a part of that?

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I think when uh my kids became in those younger generations.

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Um, earlier when you, spoke about critical thinking, it seems like that's the unlock.

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So you made an argument that you shouldn't start with the end in mind of selling the
company based upon KPIs and multiples and all that.

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But are you saying, or am I putting words in your mouth that you should start with the end
in mind on what the company should be?

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Mission always.

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Mission critical at the top of the top level.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I've been a CMO now four times and every single time it's not about like, you think
about Maslow hierarchy of needs, right?

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It's like, if you're just talking about products and features, you're at the bottom of
Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

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Like we let, let, let's do like Coca-Cola, for example, Coca-Cola is a drink.

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Like it's a sugary drink.

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If they did a marketing campaign that was like.

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sugary drinks here, like you, no one would buy it.

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But if you move up Maslow's hierarchy of needs to the self-actualization, think about what
Coca-Cola and all of their marketing and advertising does.

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It's about belonging and being together.

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Coca-Cola brings people together.

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The polar bears are sitting around the fireplace together, drinking the Coca-Cola.

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It's not about features and attributes.

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It's about the feeling that someone gets

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when they engage with you or your products.

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Do think they had to build a good product first or is that synonymous with?

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100%.

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You can't like, look, good marketing can take a bad product oh a decent ways because you
just fill the top of the funnel constantly.

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But you have two levers in building a successful business, top of the funnel and middle of
the funnel retention.

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Like how do you actually retain people to keep coming back and recurring business?

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That is a really exhausting way and a really expensive way to build a business just doing
top of the funnel.

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If you can't get people like my last company was in two vice categories.

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It was a CBD business, which was still at the time fairly new and like very regulated and

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Not mainstream at all like it is now.

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No, and I couldn't use Facebook ads.

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was a vice category.

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And then we were also a sexual health and wellness company, also a vice category.

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So we couldn't do traditional advertising.

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And I talk all the time about how we grew so fast by focusing on a great product and then
activating the people who experienced a great experience with the product.

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We had them go out and talk about it through like

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you know, affiliates and word of mouth and referral programs and all of that.

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But yeah, you can't a great product with great marketing is, is, is where you want to be.

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top of the mountain.

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Yeah.

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When you, when you spoke about critical thinking earlier, how can you break that down to
someone, um, that wants to jump into the entrepreneurial world or they're struggling and

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they want to improve and grow a brand.

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Um, if they've been an inline, I'm just going to stereotypically call it nine to five
employee for 10 years or 15 years.

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They want to break out of it and they haven't necessarily been a critical thinking
environment.

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It's just been process in process out.

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Let's get to the end of the day.

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What do you mean to the average person out here?

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When I say average person, I go back to the beginning of my journey.

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No one was talking about, have to be a critical thinker.

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There weren't people challenging most employees to do that internally.

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So what's that really mean?

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The basis of it without some big, long book.

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Hey, develop the ability to be a critical thinker.

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Yeah.

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So let's, let's break down a few things here.

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So if you're in a nine to five, there's still intrapreneurship that I'm very passionate
about.

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Like find ways that you can own something and develop your, your own DNA as part of the
company so that you have that skillset of I created something from scratch.

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Like I saw this problem in our company.

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I went out and showed that I could build the solution and go do that.

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You don't have to quit your nine to five to validate your ability to step outside and
build something.

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So I always like to start with that because I think that we've created this binary
construct of you're either a nine to five or you're an entrepreneur.

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And the reason I felt so confident becoming an entrepreneur is because I led a lot of
innovation at a lot of companies.

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So.

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there's a way to build that muscle in your current nine to five.

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And I would very much implore people to do that if they're thinking that they want to step
out, but they can't do it they don't have the financial safety net, which is something

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that we need to talk about.

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Like not everybody can be like, yeah, let me just quit my job and go do something.

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They need health insurance.

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They need, you know, a steady paycheck.

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So that's number one.

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Number two, if you are ready to kind of step out and do something.

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I always, when I'm coaching somebody, we start with like, what are you an expert in?

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Like what would somebody, call it the 10K time saver.

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Like what would somebody pay you $10,000 to do for them because they'll either, it'll make
their business go faster, it will save them a ton of time, it will save them a lot of

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money, like whatever it is.

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Like what is something that you think that if you showed up and you're like, you have me
for a week, pay me $10,000.

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Here's what I'm going to do.

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That's your expertise.

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That's your secret sauce.

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something that I see a lot, like, look, we are in a rapid expansion with AI.

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Like they're the ability to start a company is easier than ever.

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And so that can cause a lot of paralysis because you're seeing a lot of people.

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starting companies and you're like, well, I was going to kind of start that, or I was
thinking about doing something similar to this.

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It's already out there.

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You have to find there's kind of three subsets of a company that make yours your own kind
of secret sauce.

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It's what problems are you solving?

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How are you uniquely able to solve them?

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And who specifically are you solving them for?

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And

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Those three things cannot be replicated by anyone because the middle one, which is like,
why are you uniquely equipped to solve them?

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And if you can think through those three things, don't worry about what's happening out
there.

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And then you just start to, you don't have to launch a full company.

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say, okay, what does an MVP of this look like?

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How can I market test this idea?

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Because I can assure you, if you see somebody launching something, like, well, I'll just
kind of recreate that for this.

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You are not that person.

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You are not their customers.

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And you're not that same time when they launched that.

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Like macroeconomical conditions of when you launch a business are so under discussed in
the how I built this of the world.

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Like you cannot compare apples to apples, even now.

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Somebody starting a business six months ago is very different than somebody starting a
business today.

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So you have to have all three of those things and look at them with a clear, like to go
back to what is critical thinking, like your own perspective on each of those.

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Because if you're just trying to copy and paste, it's not critical thinking.

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You're not actually doing the work to say why this, why me and why that.

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Do you think that there's always been a really high failure rate in business and
entrepreneurship way back to before when me and you were little kids.

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00:18:30,870 --> 00:18:39,676
And do you think that that can be improved now with systems that you're building and
platforms and coaching?

206
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that, or, is this just a process that you just don't know what it's going to be until you
get, you're in the midst of it?

207
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Can we improve this failure rate?

208
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Cause it goes back to like, it.

209
00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:53,647
Is it learned or are we, you know, it's a DNA thing, right?

210
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Are we born or are built?

211
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:09,786
think the definition of failure is also something that I'm like, when you're asking that
question, I'm kind of like my first startup failed, but I wouldn't have had the skill sets

212
00:19:09,786 --> 00:19:21,242
from the first startup of managing engineers, launching a tech product that I would never
have gotten the job I did at the not um had I not built the skill sets.

213
00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:22,474
again, it's.

214
00:19:22,474 --> 00:19:23,997
to replace failure with learning.

215
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:25,659
Yeah, it is.

216
00:19:25,659 --> 00:19:28,311
Like, again, it goes back to what's the outcome.

217
00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:33,905
Are you approaching starting a business because you want to become better at business?

218
00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:38,050
If so, now is probably the best time.

219
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:44,395
Like, look, my legal bills over the last year have gone down immensely because of chat.

220
00:19:44,395 --> 00:19:52,341
Like I can pressure test and get a contract 90 % of the way there and have my lawyer like
look at something.

221
00:19:52,422 --> 00:19:53,250
So

222
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We are in an era where you have like your own personal board of directors sitting on the
backend, being able to coach you through scenarios.

223
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:18,090
But again, if you don't have critical thinking and a point of view, you will not go far
because basically you're just asking AI to build your business.

224
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:23,094
And I just don't think that AI has the nuance of

225
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timing, market conditions, consumer trends.

226
00:20:26,512 --> 00:20:32,156
They're not understanding contextually what makes your business unique.

227
00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:36,811
Did you have a coach when you were going through these moments of you're learning my
failure, right?

228
00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:42,554
The whole world has a big debate, but, I love like back to, think, uh, Marie for Leo wrote
with the book.

229
00:20:42,554 --> 00:20:43,665
Everything's figure outable.

230
00:20:43,665 --> 00:20:44,625
That's that's right.

231
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:45,546
That's big for her.

232
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:47,387
What did she learn from her mom?

233
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:49,428
That's kind of what you're talking about.

234
00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:55,172
Did you have a coach and a mentor or did you just already have, were you born?

235
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:56,592
That's, that's the big question.

236
00:20:56,592 --> 00:20:59,714
oh When you were going through all these moments.

237
00:20:59,822 --> 00:21:02,142
It's something I think about all the time as having three kids.

238
00:21:02,142 --> 00:21:11,342
like, can I, I have three kids, they're 21 months apart on each side, and yet they're so
drastically different.

239
00:21:11,342 --> 00:21:16,342
Their inner drive, how they're motivated, all different.

240
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:21,442
So there is something to it of like what drives you.

241
00:21:21,442 --> 00:21:28,270
And I think that there's probably a lot of psychoanalytical work that can be done to say
like,

242
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:38,993
because a lot of people's superpowers you'd find if you peel back the layers were actually
coping mechanisms from like early trauma.

243
00:21:39,453 --> 00:21:48,446
So my ability to have a large capacity and do a lot of stuff on my own is actually because
I was alone a lot as a child.

244
00:21:48,446 --> 00:21:49,876
So I had to.

245
00:21:50,036 --> 00:21:52,397
So there's that.

246
00:21:52,397 --> 00:21:57,318
There's the nature piece of that that I believe is there.

247
00:21:58,378 --> 00:22:09,928
you can set yourself up to build resilience, build grit, build all of these things and
have a great support system.

248
00:22:10,669 --> 00:22:19,557
One of the, mean, I'm sure people have said this on this podcast before, but you have to
know what you're good at and what you suck at and stop pretending to be good at the things

249
00:22:19,557 --> 00:22:23,200
you suck at and just voice those quickly.

250
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,812
Like I'm a starter, not a finisher.

251
00:22:26,152 --> 00:22:33,805
I can generate and start from scratch a lot and I can get it to like 80 % of the way
there.

252
00:22:33,845 --> 00:22:40,778
But then I stall out and I always have to surround myself with people who are not
starters, they're finishers.

253
00:22:40,778 --> 00:22:48,932
They're really good at the details and the weeds and they will get in there and they will
make sure that we have tied every loose end up.

254
00:22:49,552 --> 00:22:54,144
Just knowing that and then supporting yourself with people who are

255
00:22:54,342 --> 00:22:57,665
I call it coaches versus pacers.

256
00:22:58,026 --> 00:23:00,869
Coaches are people who have played the game.

257
00:23:00,869 --> 00:23:03,172
They know how to coach you.

258
00:23:03,172 --> 00:23:07,015
They have successfully navigated the thing that you're doing.

259
00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:09,318
I was a basketball player my whole life.

260
00:23:10,103 --> 00:23:11,857
You love Gino Oriyama then?

261
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:13,858
I don't even know who that is.

262
00:23:13,858 --> 00:23:16,604
He's the, he's the coach of the Yukon women's basketball team.

263
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,330
He's like, he's one of the best coaches ever.

264
00:23:19,330 --> 00:23:25,388
If you go and do some research, he's, he's won more national championships than any
collegiate coach at anything.

265
00:23:25,388 --> 00:23:26,262
Okay, okay.

266
00:23:26,262 --> 00:23:30,869
I'm like very much um like Coach Wooden's like.

267
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:31,412
yeah, yeah.

268
00:23:31,412 --> 00:23:32,427
So those are the two, right?

269
00:23:32,427 --> 00:23:33,473
Those are the two.

270
00:23:33,473 --> 00:23:34,293
Yeah.

271
00:23:34,382 --> 00:23:41,442
Okay, so you have coaches and you wouldn't hire like a tennis coach if you play
basketball.

272
00:23:41,442 --> 00:23:45,202
So like you've got to find coaches who have gone before you.

273
00:23:45,202 --> 00:23:46,982
But then there's Pacers.

274
00:23:46,982 --> 00:23:50,862
And I don't know if you've ever run like a marathon or something, but like, about.

275
00:23:52,742 --> 00:24:00,812
So Pacers are the people that you are running the race with and that you can be like,
dude, I'm getting tired.

276
00:24:00,812 --> 00:24:03,836
Like I think I need to walk and they're like, no, you got this.

277
00:24:03,836 --> 00:24:08,432
Like, and they're in it with you and they're there every step.

278
00:24:08,432 --> 00:24:10,775
I have a lot of pacers in my life.

279
00:24:10,775 --> 00:24:16,562
I have tons of group chats that we are in it and we're like, I'm having a rough day.

280
00:24:16,562 --> 00:24:19,315
Like this happened, this fucking deal.

281
00:24:19,315 --> 00:24:19,982
sorry.

282
00:24:19,982 --> 00:24:20,584
That's good.

283
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:22,548
You've unlocked it now.

284
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:23,729
Here we go.

285
00:24:24,485 --> 00:24:27,806
Sorry, that's that blue collar coming up.

286
00:24:27,806 --> 00:24:31,786
No, like a deal hit the fan.

287
00:24:31,786 --> 00:24:35,106
It's not coming through and we were banking on our payroll.

288
00:24:35,146 --> 00:24:38,666
Whatever it is, you're in it with them.

289
00:24:39,466 --> 00:24:43,186
And that's, you need both of those people.

290
00:24:43,186 --> 00:24:49,706
And I think that because of ego, we tend to only look for coaches, not pacers.

291
00:24:49,706 --> 00:24:53,442
So we're like, oh, I'm supposed to look like I've got this all together.

292
00:24:53,442 --> 00:24:55,847
they look like they've got it all together.

293
00:24:55,890 --> 00:25:01,664
So I do think that women do this a little bit better than men because

294
00:25:03,682 --> 00:25:08,105
Women got a later start to the business game than men did.

295
00:25:08,105 --> 00:25:12,277
And so we've had to be like sharing notes saying, how are you doing this?

296
00:25:12,277 --> 00:25:14,608
How are you navigating this situation?

297
00:25:14,608 --> 00:25:19,321
Whereas I think for men, it's a little bit harder to say like, we're supposed to know how
to do this.

298
00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:25,070
So I'm scared to like open myself up and show that I'm actually like really failing over
here.

299
00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:27,797
Are you saying men have big egos, Amanda?

300
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:29,385
Me?

301
00:25:31,418 --> 00:25:35,812
Um, so I mean, the stuff you're talking about is in line with, you have a community right
now.

302
00:25:35,812 --> 00:25:38,245
It sounds like it's like a pacer's community.

303
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:39,450
Is that, that's what.

304
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:48,396
meet every Monday, we do group coaching every Monday and we do two hot seats where people
come up and they talk about what they're struggling with and we problem solve.

305
00:25:48,396 --> 00:25:58,504
I coach them live and it helps other people not only like hear what I'm saying to the
person like, I'm stalled, like I'm not getting any new prospects for my company.

306
00:25:58,504 --> 00:25:59,765
Like what can I do?

307
00:25:59,765 --> 00:26:01,146
Let's talk through this.

308
00:26:01,146 --> 00:26:07,574
So there's the tactical piece, but then there's also the emotional piece, which is like,
oh.

309
00:26:07,574 --> 00:26:11,329
Okay, like other people are struggling too, like keep going.

310
00:26:11,329 --> 00:26:12,772
Like I've got this.

311
00:26:13,859 --> 00:26:17,930
Um, I have this saying that we all think we're so unique.

312
00:26:17,976 --> 00:26:18,765
Yeah.

313
00:26:19,598 --> 00:26:25,362
But there are patterns in so many humans that you can see it coming.

314
00:26:25,543 --> 00:26:30,186
You can indicate the progress on where it is based on their mindset.

315
00:26:30,186 --> 00:26:39,012
um There might be a few categories we fit into, but there's some unique parts about us,
but our behaviors and our patterns indicate so much.

316
00:26:39,033 --> 00:26:41,544
don't know if you've experienced the same thing.

317
00:26:42,636 --> 00:26:43,787
percent.

318
00:26:43,787 --> 00:26:49,121
I mean, look, the TikTok algorithm, constantly, I'm like, okay, cool.

319
00:26:49,121 --> 00:26:51,313
So we're all just having the same human experience.

320
00:26:51,313 --> 00:26:57,238
Like I'll get served the most unique thing that I'm like, oh, okay.

321
00:26:57,799 --> 00:26:58,930
So we're all feeling that way.

322
00:26:58,930 --> 00:26:59,390
Cool.

323
00:26:59,390 --> 00:27:00,501
I thought that was just me.

324
00:27:00,501 --> 00:27:11,750
But yes, there's that that's the fun part about like getting to this stage when you have
built companies and you've managed teams, you see a lot of patterns.

325
00:27:12,071 --> 00:27:14,611
and you can help coach them through it faster.

326
00:27:14,611 --> 00:27:23,900
And that's why coaches are really important because coaches usually have more at bats and
they can see the patterns that are happening and help you.

327
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:37,091
When I say coaches, I also like want to throw in therapists into that bucket because I
have both a coach and a therapist and a therapist will help unlock like why a coach might

328
00:27:37,091 --> 00:27:39,561
say, this is your pattern.

329
00:27:39,561 --> 00:27:41,194
What are we going to do about it?

330
00:27:41,624 --> 00:27:44,277
But a therapist will say, why do you even have that pattern?

331
00:27:44,277 --> 00:27:46,060
Where does that come from?

332
00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:58,897
And I've worked with incredible therapists who will like go back to where you originally
made that decision about yourself, that decision that you're too much or the decision that

333
00:27:58,897 --> 00:28:00,238
you have, you.

334
00:28:00,352 --> 00:28:01,969
or not enough as well.

335
00:28:02,478 --> 00:28:03,679
You don't deserve it.

336
00:28:03,679 --> 00:28:10,101
Yeah, like whether you consciously recognize that you have those programming's or not.

337
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:22,665
If you have not done the work to go back and say like at some point someone made me feel
like I was not worthy or deserving of this success.

338
00:28:22,665 --> 00:28:23,245
Is it going back?

339
00:28:23,245 --> 00:28:24,286
You're of that.

340
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:25,538
You don't.

341
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:25,749
Yeah.

342
00:28:25,749 --> 00:28:26,621
You don't unlock it.

343
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:30,420
it going back to a place where you started judging yourself in a different way?

344
00:28:31,192 --> 00:28:42,805
when you started making different decisions, like if you were to go back and realize that
you had this like fork in the road, yeah.

345
00:28:42,925 --> 00:28:51,168
And then you realize that once you made that decision, I'm not worthy, go look at all the
decisions you made on that path.

346
00:28:51,168 --> 00:28:52,518
Who did you start dating?

347
00:28:52,518 --> 00:28:55,829
Who did you, you know, like what bosses did you work for?

348
00:28:56,109 --> 00:29:00,510
And you'll be like, oh, but then you go back

349
00:29:00,812 --> 00:29:03,664
with a therapist and you make a new decision.

350
00:29:03,664 --> 00:29:16,514
And then you start seeing how your path, you quit jobs faster, you end friendships faster,
you're not afraid to protect and create boundaries.

351
00:29:17,154 --> 00:29:19,605
This is a wild life, this experience.

352
00:29:20,174 --> 00:29:21,541
It's fun though, right?

353
00:29:21,814 --> 00:29:22,494
It's fun.

354
00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:24,285
That's what she's trying to convince us of.

355
00:29:24,285 --> 00:29:24,736
fun.

356
00:29:24,736 --> 00:29:26,316
Hey, thanks for tuning in.

357
00:29:26,377 --> 00:29:31,779
If you like these types of conversations, be sure to follow the necessary entrepreneur on
your favorite platform.

358
00:29:31,779 --> 00:29:34,121
So you never miss out on future content.

359
00:29:34,121 --> 00:29:39,924
What's the new passion here with this new, you you had this trajectory.

360
00:29:39,924 --> 00:29:51,810
It's awesome for you to arrive here at 40 because you have so much time left and that time
now can be used in a way that it feels like there's a passion.

361
00:29:52,012 --> 00:29:56,704
to help the amandas of the past that don't have the amandas now.

362
00:29:56,884 --> 00:29:59,625
And let me help you figure it out or do it better or make it easier.

363
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,245
Like, what is it?

364
00:30:00,245 --> 00:30:01,686
How, how's it for you to explain it?

365
00:30:01,686 --> 00:30:04,297
Like this next 20 years.

366
00:30:04,297 --> 00:30:06,538
And then let's talk about inside of that.

367
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:09,429
I'm going to ask two or three questions and you can break it apart wherever you want.

368
00:30:09,429 --> 00:30:19,183
Um, you say that you can have it all, but the having it all should be based on actually
what you believe having it all is versus rest of the world.

369
00:30:19,183 --> 00:30:20,114
All right.

370
00:30:20,114 --> 00:30:21,152
um

371
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:31,008
And then also about what we've done wrong or even completely wrong about this idea of
hustle culture and what that means to your brain.

372
00:30:31,008 --> 00:30:34,930
What do you think it means to the rest of the world and how we can do this thing better?

373
00:30:34,930 --> 00:30:42,294
Cause usually what I've found as humans, we do it wrong until we care enough about
figuring out what we can do better than to do it better.

374
00:30:43,062 --> 00:30:44,683
And I'll add to that.

375
00:30:44,683 --> 00:30:57,168
So the reason I got really passionate about redefining ambition, and I'll say that kind of
in a blurry term for a second, I'll come back to it.

376
00:30:57,548 --> 00:31:12,470
we had, for women, we had this girl boss era where it was like women on the covers of
Forbes and building huge VC backed companies and unicorns and

377
00:31:12,470 --> 00:31:18,739
And it was this very heightened moment of what it meant to be a woman in business.

378
00:31:19,260 --> 00:31:20,892
Then what happened?

379
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:33,615
one of those companies failed or one of the founders left or, you know, cancel culture,
whatever happens, there was this pendulum swing that then happened where now it's like,

380
00:31:33,615 --> 00:31:37,356
oh, we're in our soft girl era.

381
00:31:37,356 --> 00:31:38,957
We're in our lazy girl era.

382
00:31:38,957 --> 00:31:44,059
There's a trad wife movement happening where you're a traditional wife.

383
00:31:45,020 --> 00:31:49,561
And most women live in the middle.

384
00:31:50,122 --> 00:31:51,308
They want

385
00:31:51,308 --> 00:32:01,882
to build something, they want to be ambitious, they want to see how far they can go with
their career or their success or their skill set.

386
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:09,986
And they might wanna have a family or a partner or a softness to their life.

387
00:32:10,987 --> 00:32:18,850
And it's the and that we keep missing because social media doesn't love nuance.

388
00:32:19,244 --> 00:32:19,614
Right?

389
00:32:19,614 --> 00:32:25,156
Like it's brevity, it's dopamine, it's here are five ways to be the best at this.

390
00:32:25,997 --> 00:32:36,141
So I got really passionate about bringing and breathing nuance back into this conversation
of what it means to live in the middle.

391
00:32:36,854 --> 00:32:43,064
I love setting huge goals for myself and going after them.

392
00:32:43,064 --> 00:32:48,776
Like you, once I have my mind fixated on a goal, watch out.

393
00:32:49,358 --> 00:32:59,158
And I love being a present mom and being silly and goofy and doing all that, that, and
having an amazing partner.

394
00:32:59,158 --> 00:33:00,698
getting married next year.

395
00:33:00,698 --> 00:33:01,438
Like, congrats.

396
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:02,818
Thank you.

397
00:33:02,838 --> 00:33:09,498
And, we've, we've created these notions that you have to pick a lane.

398
00:33:10,618 --> 00:33:19,394
And that's where I wanted, I wanted my next kind of chunk of my career to be because I
kept finding that I was

399
00:33:19,394 --> 00:33:20,935
following the pendulum swings.

400
00:33:20,935 --> 00:33:28,421
I was either pushing for my career or I was like, nah, I'm just gonna be someone's wife.

401
00:33:28,542 --> 00:33:35,507
And that's not a bad thing, but it was not because I was being intentional about that that
was my goal.

402
00:33:35,528 --> 00:33:38,290
I was just following society's trends.

403
00:33:40,150 --> 00:33:47,686
You have to have an elevated level of confidence and belief in yourself and self-esteem to
be able to do what you're talking about.

404
00:33:48,088 --> 00:33:58,265
and boundaries because the reason so many people struggle with this, men included, the,
there's a couple of traps.

405
00:33:58,265 --> 00:34:01,237
I'll say one, the significance trap.

406
00:34:01,237 --> 00:34:04,008
Like is this thing as significant?

407
00:34:04,008 --> 00:34:11,214
Is that Slack message that just came in that important that you're going to pick up your
phone during family dinner?

408
00:34:11,795 --> 00:34:14,627
we, where is that actually coming from?

409
00:34:14,627 --> 00:34:16,658
It's actually people pleasing.

410
00:34:16,660 --> 00:34:17,871
Oh, I don't respond.

411
00:34:17,871 --> 00:34:20,632
What is this person going to think about me?

412
00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:22,924
They're going to say like, I'm not a good worker.

413
00:34:22,924 --> 00:34:23,694
I'm not this.

414
00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:26,475
I'm not as committed as this other person.

415
00:34:27,036 --> 00:34:41,644
So building out tools, which I talk about in my book, to help set yourself up for these
traps that we fall in that allow us to not have these boundaries that allow us to have it

416
00:34:41,644 --> 00:34:42,405
all.

417
00:34:42,405 --> 00:34:45,446
Meaning you can't have it all at once.

418
00:34:45,611 --> 00:34:55,967
but I can show up fully for work, give 100 % of myself to work, set it down, and then say,
now I'm gonna go be a great mom.

419
00:34:55,967 --> 00:35:00,710
And those two versions of myself don't play well together.

420
00:35:00,710 --> 00:35:11,206
The second I start trying and letting work bleed into that time with my kids, I can feel
myself being agitated and I'm like more quick to snap.

421
00:35:11,206 --> 00:35:12,217
like, I gotta send this email.

422
00:35:12,217 --> 00:35:14,178
gotta stop, stop, know.

423
00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:19,434
When I didn't have to send that email, it was, mean, I'm not saving lives here.

424
00:35:19,434 --> 00:35:24,398
Like I could have waited two hours, but I had weak boundaries in that moment.

425
00:35:24,418 --> 00:35:35,667
So the understanding that you have different versions of yourself and you have to allow
each of those versions to have a little bit of compartmentalization because a lot of those

426
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:39,030
times, those versions don't mesh well together.

427
00:35:39,030 --> 00:35:44,166
And I say this often, like I would rather be a super present

428
00:35:44,166 --> 00:35:54,761
focused mom for one to two hours a day, then this like crazy, distracted, chaotic, like,
like on edge mom for four hours a day.

429
00:35:54,761 --> 00:35:56,531
And my kids feel the same way.

430
00:35:56,531 --> 00:36:03,944
So if that means they have to watch Bluey for an hour, so I can focus and finish on
something at work, then I can go play Legos with them or cars with that.

431
00:36:03,944 --> 00:36:12,364
Like, and so it's about knowing the traps and also knowing which version of yourself of
yourself you're you're

432
00:36:12,364 --> 00:36:14,542
giving priority to in that moment.

433
00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:17,082
Is that where this intentionality comes from?

434
00:36:17,082 --> 00:36:24,222
Cause I'm thinking about this and I'm like as capable as driven, cause I'm going on a limb
here, but when you said you set a goal, you go after it.

435
00:36:24,222 --> 00:36:26,602
You were probably that way since a little girl.

436
00:36:26,782 --> 00:36:27,182
Yeah.

437
00:36:27,182 --> 00:36:28,682
It's probably in the DNA.

438
00:36:28,682 --> 00:36:37,522
so why do we lose the intentionality on is it, I don't want to get caught up in the why
too much because we'll sit here and play with it a ton, right?

439
00:36:37,902 --> 00:36:40,682
But so often

440
00:36:42,282 --> 00:36:46,108
If we would just ask ourselves, like, what do we want?

441
00:36:46,530 --> 00:36:47,872
What do we want?

442
00:36:48,334 --> 00:36:49,996
Not the rest of the world.

443
00:36:50,338 --> 00:36:52,542
Not all these influences to your point on the outside.

444
00:36:52,542 --> 00:36:55,286
Like what, what, what do I want out of my life?

445
00:36:55,822 --> 00:36:57,782
So here, I'm gonna dive into it a little further.

446
00:36:57,782 --> 00:36:58,442
Yeah, let's go.

447
00:36:58,442 --> 00:37:01,662
I think we've gotten there as people.

448
00:37:01,662 --> 00:37:07,042
think we are at least at this first step of like, what do I want for my life?

449
00:37:07,422 --> 00:37:11,402
Here's where it needs to go a step further in what I explore in the book.

450
00:37:12,182 --> 00:37:19,742
What the version of you at work wants for your life doesn't agree with the version of you
at home.

451
00:37:20,242 --> 00:37:21,662
Is that fair?

452
00:37:21,931 --> 00:37:23,874
So I'm going have any conversation.

453
00:37:23,874 --> 00:37:25,746
I used to be here to argue, I'm here to grow now.

454
00:37:25,746 --> 00:37:26,007
Right.

455
00:37:26,007 --> 00:37:31,166
And so the question though is, is there's this idea that it seems like it's almost fact.

456
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:33,990
The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

457
00:37:34,510 --> 00:37:36,031
I with that.

458
00:37:36,031 --> 00:37:38,432
So there's a ripple effect for sure.

459
00:37:38,432 --> 00:37:42,786
If you can set boundaries at work, you can set boundaries at home.

460
00:37:42,786 --> 00:37:44,057
So I agree with that.

461
00:37:44,057 --> 00:37:52,862
But my point is if we say, what do I want my life to look like as a general statement?

462
00:37:53,604 --> 00:38:01,589
We're not allowing the goal setting to happen at a uh compartmentalization level.

463
00:38:01,689 --> 00:38:03,330
when you have a company,

464
00:38:03,968 --> 00:38:09,644
You set North Star goals for the company, but you also set departmental goals.

465
00:38:10,506 --> 00:38:17,592
Why, as humans, do we just set the North Star goal, but we don't actually set the
departmental goals?

466
00:38:17,592 --> 00:38:18,033
What do you think?

467
00:38:18,033 --> 00:38:19,006
Do we not have the ability?

468
00:38:19,006 --> 00:38:20,731
Have we not learned the behavior to do it?

469
00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:22,028
What do you think it is?

470
00:38:22,028 --> 00:38:28,222
I still don't think we've actually thought, we've been taught alignment is the goal.

471
00:38:28,222 --> 00:38:30,884
I need to show up as my full self.

472
00:38:30,884 --> 00:38:35,066
Well, that's bullshit because my full self doesn't agree all the time.

473
00:38:36,308 --> 00:38:45,834
If I was in mom mode right now, I'd be not fully present in this conversation because I'd
be thinking about, we get the doctor's results for my daughter's blood test?

474
00:38:45,834 --> 00:38:46,094
Right?

475
00:38:46,094 --> 00:38:49,696
Like I'd be so not a hundred percent here.

476
00:38:51,458 --> 00:39:04,421
we have to departmentally think about our life and say like, this is, look, I'm a divorced
woman and I think about divorce often and not having the same intentionality that I do for

477
00:39:04,421 --> 00:39:11,563
my career that I would have for my marriage and like that pillar and department of my
life.

478
00:39:11,563 --> 00:39:12,594
What are your goals?

479
00:39:12,594 --> 00:39:14,624
What are your goals for your marriage?

480
00:39:14,824 --> 00:39:17,085
What are your goals as a parent?

481
00:39:17,325 --> 00:39:21,292
And when you set those, starts, especially if you're an ambitious person that

482
00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:23,663
like things in work terms.

483
00:39:24,024 --> 00:39:30,528
If I can say like, okay, for the next quarter, I really want to be a fun mom.

484
00:39:30,528 --> 00:39:32,850
Okay, let's break that down into a KR.

485
00:39:32,850 --> 00:39:34,611
What's the key result there?

486
00:39:34,611 --> 00:39:41,256
I'm gonna do one activity with each kid that is like a fun, like, okay, we're gonna go to
graffiti making.

487
00:39:41,256 --> 00:39:43,257
I'm gonna go do a graffiti class.

488
00:39:43,257 --> 00:39:46,179
With my other kid, I'm going to go a baking class.

489
00:39:46,179 --> 00:39:47,890
Like, what does it look like?

490
00:39:47,890 --> 00:39:51,292
And you start to create tangibility to these things.

491
00:39:51,731 --> 00:39:58,637
So that's why I just want to break it down into like what my life wants to look like, but
also the departments of your life.

492
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:02,090
Um, what do you think about education?

493
00:40:02,090 --> 00:40:08,530
mean, um, it's a, if we would have been, I'm a few years older than you, but in my
forties, just turned 40.

494
00:40:08,530 --> 00:40:09,990
congrats on that too.

495
00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:15,830
40 new life, man, the same great kids, but new marriage, new life, living in new locales.

496
00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:16,870
What the hell?

497
00:40:16,870 --> 00:40:24,090
Um, but it seems like, you know, there's a huge debate in education right now about how
we're educating these next generations.

498
00:40:24,090 --> 00:40:26,274
If you had to do it over again.

499
00:40:26,274 --> 00:40:28,565
Would you go back and educate Amanda differently?

500
00:40:28,565 --> 00:40:31,618
Cause I'm assuming you didn't have any Montessori environment.

501
00:40:31,618 --> 00:40:32,379
Those right.

502
00:40:32,379 --> 00:40:32,639
Yeah.

503
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:34,840
The blue collar, you know, being raised.

504
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,201
So would you do it?

505
00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:37,138
Would you do it different?

506
00:40:37,138 --> 00:40:38,143
it be done faster?

507
00:40:38,143 --> 00:40:39,824
Can it be done in a different way?

508
00:40:39,824 --> 00:40:42,345
How do you want your kids to be educated?

509
00:40:42,466 --> 00:40:43,687
Are we doing that right now?

510
00:40:43,687 --> 00:40:49,854
Because what we're sitting here talking about, we're talking about people that become 20
and 22 and 24 and 26.

511
00:40:49,872 --> 00:40:53,408
And they, as well as coaches and people in the place you are.

512
00:40:53,408 --> 00:40:56,806
you're dealing with the outcome of what that education has looked like.

513
00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:08,443
Yes, mean, that's fixing the education system is a whole, we could probably talk for like
a lot of time on that.

514
00:41:08,443 --> 00:41:10,123
I have lots of thoughts.

515
00:41:10,304 --> 00:41:15,766
What I will say both as a parent and as someone watching people come out of school.

516
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:26,697
You have to supplement your education with real world experience.

517
00:41:29,774 --> 00:41:34,434
What I mean by that, I'll use a tangible example from my own experience.

518
00:41:34,434 --> 00:41:38,134
So in college, I paid for college myself, so I had four jobs.

519
00:41:38,134 --> 00:41:43,294
In the morning, I was a personal trainer for all the staff and faculty and all that.

520
00:41:43,974 --> 00:41:48,294
Afternoon, I had to be at the ice arena, because I was a marketing intern for the hockey
team.

521
00:41:48,294 --> 00:41:51,314
At night, I was a waitress, and on the weekends, I was a nanny.

522
00:41:53,590 --> 00:41:58,651
I don't recommend anyone in college having four jobs because it was a lot.

523
00:41:58,651 --> 00:42:00,512
But what did it teach me?

524
00:42:00,732 --> 00:42:11,455
Time management, prioritization, um like Parkinson's law, however much time you give
something, it will take that much time.

525
00:42:11,455 --> 00:42:15,576
I didn't have a lot of time, so I was so efficient with it.

526
00:42:16,657 --> 00:42:21,964
And I think about that often with like, what is not happening with the education system?

527
00:42:21,964 --> 00:42:26,855
The kids sit for eight hours and they fill the time.

528
00:42:26,876 --> 00:42:32,177
And so for COVID, I had my kids for a year and I homeschooled them for a year.

529
00:42:32,177 --> 00:42:43,320
And I saw how we could condense the tactical, the, okay, you need to learn your ABCs, you
gotta learn how to write words, you gotta learn math, like, okay.

530
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:48,762
But we could condense that into less time and then focus on real world.

531
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:49,969
knowledge.

532
00:42:49,969 --> 00:42:52,357
Like my daughters learned Canva.

533
00:42:52,357 --> 00:42:56,369
you know, like we were filming and editing videos.

534
00:42:58,338 --> 00:43:06,681
That is where I wish and hope that we will move to where we teach financial literacy.

535
00:43:06,681 --> 00:43:10,792
We teach things, time management, how to do your taxes.

536
00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:21,265
Like we don't teach things that are real world because we basically look at education
system right now as like, you have my kids for eight hours.

537
00:43:22,025 --> 00:43:25,236
Yeah, and as a working parent,

538
00:43:25,324 --> 00:43:25,804
I love that.

539
00:43:25,804 --> 00:43:36,503
And my kids have had incredible teachers and I've had teachers that changed the trajectory
of my career because like I was going to go follow my high school boyfriend to his college

540
00:43:36,503 --> 00:43:39,726
and not go to the college I had a full scholarship to.

541
00:43:39,726 --> 00:43:43,288
But I had a teacher be like, what are you doing?

542
00:43:43,589 --> 00:43:49,804
And so I believe it's the people and this framework and like learning how to work in
groups.

543
00:43:49,804 --> 00:43:54,718
But where I want to go and what I'm supplementing with my kids is like,

544
00:43:54,764 --> 00:43:56,595
you have have real world experience.

545
00:43:56,595 --> 00:44:01,697
so, like, for example, my middle daughter is very entrepreneurial.

546
00:44:01,697 --> 00:44:03,077
And she was like, I want to start a business.

547
00:44:03,077 --> 00:44:03,846
I want to start a business.

548
00:44:03,846 --> 00:44:04,958
I was like, okay, let's do it.

549
00:44:04,958 --> 00:44:08,254
And so we, she makes those little rubber band bracelets.

550
00:44:08,254 --> 00:44:10,741
I was like, okay, let's talk about inventory.

551
00:44:10,741 --> 00:44:12,381
How much do you need to buy the cost?

552
00:44:12,381 --> 00:44:14,142
Like what's cost of goods?

553
00:44:14,142 --> 00:44:15,713
And then she went and sold them.

554
00:44:15,713 --> 00:44:22,645
And then she, I made her pay her brother and sister and me and like, and then she got the
profit.

555
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:23,346
And

556
00:44:23,346 --> 00:44:24,615
didn't like that part.

557
00:44:25,224 --> 00:44:29,082
She didn't, but she was, you know, she had to learn.

558
00:44:29,082 --> 00:44:31,707
it's like, how can you supplement that?

559
00:44:31,707 --> 00:44:34,130
And I wish that that stuff was happening in school.

560
00:44:34,798 --> 00:44:38,984
So how do we do that for adults now if they haven't had that?

561
00:44:39,426 --> 00:44:50,769
Because you're talking about in the beginning though, like either be an entrepreneur,
figure out how you can find a problem and go and try to solve it under the safe under the

562
00:44:50,769 --> 00:44:54,610
above the safety net, I guess of a corporate situation.

563
00:44:54,610 --> 00:44:57,731
Um, that's what I did at the not over and over again.

564
00:44:57,731 --> 00:45:09,130
I constantly was like, Hey, what if we like looked at our marketplace and thought about it
like this and like, okay, let's talk to the product team, this, this, and just get really

565
00:45:09,130 --> 00:45:19,570
curious, and that goes back to the critical thinking curiosity gaps that I think we're
having, where we're waiting for someone to tell us what problem to solve, we have to

566
00:45:19,570 --> 00:45:21,922
actually go identify the problems.

567
00:45:22,026 --> 00:45:28,291
What are you seeing inside of your coaching platform, inside your communities?

568
00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:35,456
it other than what we're just talking about the critical, really thinking critically, are
you finding a consistent problem that you can help unlock?

569
00:45:35,456 --> 00:45:42,923
Like, is there going be people that are listening to this that are going to say, hey,
that's a great conversation, but like, how does this apply to me in my exact situation?

570
00:45:42,923 --> 00:45:44,934
Is there something we can speak to them out?

571
00:45:44,934 --> 00:45:50,045
Because I think critical thinking, if someone can walk away and saying, okay, let me see
if I can apply this in my daily life.

572
00:45:50,326 --> 00:45:57,578
Is there something else big that's happening that you've been thinking about that like,
Hey, this is really one of the, one of the blockades that people are going through right

573
00:45:57,578 --> 00:45:58,228
now.

574
00:45:58,962 --> 00:46:00,203
systems.

575
00:46:00,203 --> 00:46:11,928
if I could leave somebody with like the common blocker that I have in my community is not
building systems for the things that you are doing in your life.

576
00:46:11,928 --> 00:46:17,710
So you're working so much harder than you need to and you are slowing yourself down.

577
00:46:17,870 --> 00:46:24,373
So I think about this like let's use like hiring an EA for an example, right?

578
00:46:24,373 --> 00:46:26,474
Many times we are like, I can't

579
00:46:26,510 --> 00:46:29,150
I don't have 40 hours a week to give to somebody.

580
00:46:29,150 --> 00:46:33,990
Like could never pay $2,000 a month or $3,000 a month.

581
00:46:34,410 --> 00:46:38,950
I will walk them through, like, let's talk about your system with email.

582
00:46:38,950 --> 00:46:41,190
Let's talk about your system with Slack.

583
00:46:41,190 --> 00:46:43,830
Let's talk about your system with meetings.

584
00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:46,950
And they won't have a system.

585
00:46:47,050 --> 00:46:50,590
Let's talk about your system for generating more revenue.

586
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:55,310
Like how are you thinking about what is your next revenue stream?

587
00:46:55,566 --> 00:46:57,426
Are you going to launch a newsletter?

588
00:46:57,426 --> 00:46:59,546
you going to become a keynote speaker?

589
00:46:59,546 --> 00:47:05,566
Are you going to take on fractional work on the side of your nine to five?

590
00:47:05,666 --> 00:47:22,646
Build a system that allows you to automate or delegate 85 % of it and then build a
flywheel that says, for me investing in an EA, I said, I'm going to give it six months.

591
00:47:23,726 --> 00:47:29,266
All of these things taking off my plate opens up at least 20 hours a week.

592
00:47:29,266 --> 00:47:32,546
I have her for 40, but like at least 20 hours.

593
00:47:32,626 --> 00:47:39,574
Do I believe in those 20 hours I can generate at least 10K more a month?

594
00:47:39,574 --> 00:47:40,981
We know the answer is yes for everyone.

595
00:47:40,981 --> 00:47:43,129
oh It is.

596
00:47:43,303 --> 00:47:44,444
It is.

597
00:47:44,564 --> 00:47:50,028
So then why aren't you building the systems to offload the stuff that you don't need to
do?

598
00:47:50,869 --> 00:47:52,494
And we know the answer.

599
00:47:52,494 --> 00:47:54,246
Amanda, how do I hire an EA?

600
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:55,397
I can't even comprehend that.

601
00:47:55,397 --> 00:47:55,938
What do mean?

602
00:47:55,938 --> 00:47:56,979
Where do I get started?

603
00:47:56,979 --> 00:47:57,740
Are they virtual?

604
00:47:57,740 --> 00:47:58,771
Are they in the Philippines?

605
00:47:58,771 --> 00:47:59,902
Where are they?

606
00:48:00,174 --> 00:48:04,175
Mine is, she works the same hours as me.

607
00:48:04,775 --> 00:48:05,976
So I use Athena.

608
00:48:05,976 --> 00:48:11,437
um There's lots of services, but yeah, she works the same hours as me.

609
00:48:11,437 --> 00:48:12,447
She works my hours.

610
00:48:12,447 --> 00:48:17,919
She's in the Philippines and I have everything, an SOP for everything.

611
00:48:17,919 --> 00:48:19,919
Oh, date night.

612
00:48:19,919 --> 00:48:27,171
One of my own chaos for my relationship is we want to maintain a non-roommate connection.

613
00:48:27,171 --> 00:48:29,582
We need a date night every week.

614
00:48:29,612 --> 00:48:31,103
I have an SOP.

615
00:48:31,103 --> 00:48:42,547
She knows, okay, first look at this calendar, then book this babysitter, then pick from
one of these 20 restaurants and then block it on my calendar.

616
00:48:43,248 --> 00:48:48,790
It's like, create SOPs so that you can live the life that you want.

617
00:48:48,790 --> 00:48:53,132
People stop at the, I'm not living the life I want.

618
00:48:54,233 --> 00:48:56,514
And then they don't know how to get there.

619
00:48:56,514 --> 00:48:57,496
So it's about...

620
00:48:57,496 --> 00:49:06,393
I would say the tactical thing from this conversation is thinking about SOPs and to break
that even further, it's think about the things you do every day.

621
00:49:06,393 --> 00:49:08,034
Think about the things you do every week.

622
00:49:08,034 --> 00:49:12,037
Think about the things you do every month, every quarter and every year.

623
00:49:12,097 --> 00:49:18,662
If they happen at that recurring rates, you can offload it most of the time.

624
00:49:18,662 --> 00:49:20,646
My quarterly taxes, think about it.

625
00:49:20,646 --> 00:49:22,926
I need to pull out the business expenses.

626
00:49:22,926 --> 00:49:23,916
need to...

627
00:49:24,078 --> 00:49:26,358
cherry pick through my personal expenses.

628
00:49:26,358 --> 00:49:27,198
I need to combine that.

629
00:49:27,198 --> 00:49:29,178
I need to send it to my accountant.

630
00:49:29,338 --> 00:49:32,778
that, you know, like that can be done by someone else.

631
00:49:33,498 --> 00:49:35,198
So that would be my take.

632
00:49:36,342 --> 00:49:37,643
a new way of thinking.

633
00:49:37,643 --> 00:49:38,904
This is next level stuff.

634
00:49:38,904 --> 00:49:41,825
Where are we going to, we have a few minutes left here, but I don't want to miss on this.

635
00:49:41,825 --> 00:49:51,332
Like what's your, um, what's your call to action for all the people that you're thinking
about building your platform and writing the book and, marketing and branding yourself.

636
00:49:51,332 --> 00:49:57,735
What's your call to action for how you're going to be able to help people to put a nice
bow around it on the conversation today?

637
00:49:57,735 --> 00:49:59,727
Like what's your system?

638
00:49:59,727 --> 00:50:00,877
What's your platform?

639
00:50:00,877 --> 00:50:02,278
um

640
00:50:02,306 --> 00:50:07,053
What's the DNA of the thing that you're doing and the people that you want to impact and
how they're going to engage with you?

641
00:50:07,053 --> 00:50:08,476
What's that look like?

642
00:50:09,688 --> 00:50:18,400
For me, it's showing up in your inbox every week with a very tactical newsletter to think
about how you're playing the game of life.

643
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:24,482
So have a weekly newsletter and that to me is like, that's my SOP, like right, that's the
system.

644
00:50:24,742 --> 00:50:26,643
I help people every week.

645
00:50:26,643 --> 00:50:37,706
And then if something sparks you and you're like, I wanna go further on this, then maybe
it's in the community, maybe it's the book, maybe it's something else, but showing up in

646
00:50:37,706 --> 00:50:38,966
your inbox every week,

647
00:50:38,966 --> 00:50:46,803
is not only like a privilege, but also something that I, uh I really focus on giving
tactical uh inputs.

648
00:50:46,803 --> 00:50:50,790
Like I have, I'll drop videos of like, here's my SOP life.

649
00:50:52,588 --> 00:50:55,741
The sounds like you're giving it away free initially.

650
00:50:57,452 --> 00:50:59,404
What's the, have this new book coming out.

651
00:50:59,404 --> 00:51:01,100
Are we allowed to know about it or no?

652
00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:01,942
Yeah, yeah.

653
00:51:01,942 --> 00:51:09,096
I mean, it's not fully like uh out yet, but it's called toxic grit, how to have it all and
actually love what you have.

654
00:51:09,096 --> 00:51:11,792
And it comes out October 21st.

655
00:51:12,610 --> 00:51:15,792
Give us the context, push back on some of the things I would say.

656
00:51:15,792 --> 00:51:19,073
I'm like, man, what a topic that people would just call me on the carpet about, man.

657
00:51:19,073 --> 00:51:21,734
um Toxic grit.

658
00:51:21,734 --> 00:51:26,357
Give us a few of the pointers here that make us want to go out and buy it and probably
listen on Audible and all that.

659
00:51:26,357 --> 00:51:28,377
You have a really marketable and good voice.

660
00:51:28,377 --> 00:51:29,958
I'm assuming you're doing the Audible.

661
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,395
So funny enough, like you have to audition for it.

662
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:40,540
You have to sell it obviously, so my agent's working on that, but then you have to
audition for it.

663
00:51:40,540 --> 00:51:44,145
can tell them, you can say, I'm not letting anybody else do this.

664
00:51:45,176 --> 00:51:46,953
think I'm at that level yet, Mark.

665
00:51:46,953 --> 00:51:49,998
So we gotta give me a more books under my belt.

666
00:51:49,998 --> 00:51:50,840
start now.

667
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,344
yeah, give us a few because we hear toxic grit.

668
00:51:53,344 --> 00:51:55,428
It's like, Oh, okay.

669
00:51:55,428 --> 00:51:56,970
What's she telling us here?

670
00:51:57,528 --> 00:52:00,719
So my definition for toxic grit is hustle without intention.

671
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:04,121
Like I'm not here to tell you not to be ambitious.

672
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:06,772
And yet so many people are like, rest, it's okay.

673
00:52:06,772 --> 00:52:13,255
let's, it's like, no, many of us are here to do big things, but how do you create the
intentionality?

674
00:52:13,255 --> 00:52:21,739
So a lot of the things we talked about, those different versions of yourself, how do you
create space for them so that not one takes over?

675
00:52:21,739 --> 00:52:24,418
Because that to me is when burnout happens.

676
00:52:24,418 --> 00:52:35,781
When one of those characters in your movie of your life takes over the whole plot line,
you are not, all of your human needs are not met because we have human needs of

677
00:52:35,781 --> 00:52:38,042
connection, of fun.

678
00:52:38,422 --> 00:52:47,404
Most of the time, creativity, sometimes, many times our work does not meet our human needs
of those things.

679
00:52:47,404 --> 00:52:52,338
So you have to create space for the other versions of yourself that are inside of you.

680
00:52:52,338 --> 00:52:53,516
And you think about like,

681
00:52:53,516 --> 00:53:00,371
when you're in your 20s, like you would go out and like hang out with your friends because
you didn't have these other responsibilities.

682
00:53:00,371 --> 00:53:08,107
And so it may not happen at the same frequency, but how do you create intentionality for
these versions of yourself that you know exists within you?

683
00:53:08,107 --> 00:53:12,540
Like I still love to go dancing and have a tequila night with my girlfriends.

684
00:53:12,540 --> 00:53:20,780
Doesn't happen as often because I have three kids, but if I let a like season of my life
go by,

685
00:53:20,780 --> 00:53:28,093
and I don't allow myself to meet those needs, I don't feel fully satisfied with my life.

686
00:53:28,433 --> 00:53:37,347
So that's kind of a very like obscure example, but the book is just how do you create
space for the, how do you identify the different versions of yourself?

687
00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:40,338
And then how do you create intentionality and space for them?

688
00:53:40,974 --> 00:53:45,160
There's so many books coming out it sounds like one that people can really benefit from
reading.

689
00:53:45,454 --> 00:53:46,690
Thank you, I appreciate that.

690
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:47,491
Yeah, a hundred percent.

691
00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:56,116
Um, I'm going to let y'all a few minutes early here because we had another seven minutes,
but some more prep time for how you're going to be that awesome, fun mom picking up your

692
00:53:56,116 --> 00:53:58,379
daughter at three 15 today.

693
00:53:58,379 --> 00:54:00,386
I know, gotta go to pick up duty.

694
00:54:00,386 --> 00:54:04,181
Do you, there a competition for the, pickup line?

695
00:54:05,344 --> 00:54:11,026
No, I scoot around back my daughter's in the stage of life where she's like, do not get
out of the car.

696
00:54:11,026 --> 00:54:13,350
And I was like, okay, so I want to

697
00:54:13,421 --> 00:54:16,424
are you gonna be the person that has a big dance or something to try to embarrass her?

698
00:54:16,424 --> 00:54:17,176
Would that be you?

699
00:54:17,176 --> 00:54:19,749
she's ever late, I'll be like, I'm getting out to twerk.

700
00:54:19,749 --> 00:54:20,640
I'm going to do it.

701
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,380
And she's like, mom, stay at the car.

702
00:54:22,380 --> 00:54:23,631
I'll be right there.

703
00:54:24,314 --> 00:54:24,905
Thank you.

704
00:54:24,905 --> 00:54:25,958
Thank you for joining us.

705
00:54:25,958 --> 00:54:29,245
What's the one place, the one platform, where should people come and find you?

706
00:54:29,245 --> 00:54:30,778
And so they can sign up for the newsletter.

707
00:54:30,778 --> 00:54:31,896
What's the one place.

708
00:54:31,896 --> 00:54:33,713
Yeah, just go to AmandaGuts.com.

709
00:54:34,350 --> 00:54:36,210
So simple, you all, it means she's big time.

710
00:54:36,210 --> 00:54:38,310
She owns the.com.

711
00:54:38,310 --> 00:54:40,250
Thank you for joining us.

712
00:54:40,250 --> 00:54:50,870
Uh, toxic grit, this idea of being able to have it all, but our way, not the world's way
and, uh, talking about making even this difficult experience of life more fun because

713
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:54,550
Amanda believes it's so thank you.

714
00:54:54,550 --> 00:54:55,350
Thank you so much.

715
00:54:55,350 --> 00:55:00,110
look forward to following you a little bit and, um, getting, uh, getting really invested
in this book.

716
00:55:00,550 --> 00:55:01,650
Thank you.