#132 - Self-Leadership, Clarity, and Becoming Legendary w/ Tommy Breedlove

0:00 I'm allergic to victimhood, apathy, entitlement, and laziness. I'm allergic to it. However, our mass media in bulk promotes entitlement and victimhood. And if you told you deserve or you're owed something or someone's trying to take something from you and give it to them and you're owed, like we got you. Think mass politics, think mass media, think at certain levels, mass religion. you start belief. That's all you read here and say. And if you're vegging out on that TV and looking at your computer and your phone, that's all you're going to know because it is rewiring your brain.

0:46 you Alright guys, we're um what an opportunity we have to talk to somebody that's a better person than even his incredible extraordinary name, Tommy Breedlove. you all, there is an entire podcast story behind that I know but we're not gonna unlock that today but um comes to us from being the author of the book Legendary which has been one of the best sellers in multiple categories for a long time. Um he has some great core messages from the book, some great quotes but he was also the founder of Choose Goodness so we're interested in hearing that today.

1:27 He's a guy who is about empowering and helping elite people, in my words, achieve legendary status. So we'll kick this off because I could keep them here for hours and we're going to try to fly through this in one. a welcome, don't say thanks for having us yet until I say, um, there's tools in the book, legendary that you have a legendary playbook, there's daily habits and clarity frameworks. I'd love to hear about your clarity framework, but there's a core message in the book and maybe we can launch off with the entire conversation to help us all grow today. You don't have to be rich to be legendary. You have to be intentional. Say that again, brother. You don't have to reach to be the legendary. You have to be what? You don't have to be rich to be legendary, but you have to be intentional.

2:10 Indeed, Intention without action and action without intention is useless. Okay, so and that probably goes with daily habits and clarity of framework. what if you have an entire crazy wild history on how deep we're to go back to when you were 19 and then working for Deut which is the top in the accounting firm. But what brought you to this book of writing that book a few years ago, the legendary what brought you Pain really, and then multiple transformations, one at 19 that you alluded to, one at 36. Both of them almost cost me everything. And then at 36, I never thought I was going to leave the mergers and acquisitions, public accounting and financial world, but made a lot of poor choices and mistakes throughout my life on the chase of more and when and status and objects and power.

2:59 Brother, I'm in the money business and success business. So I do think that is important. I agree with T Harvecker, man. If someone says money is not important, port and run from them because they're broke. However, if you're an ass or not a good person or insecure, angry, you know, money, as we all know, it's just going to, it's just going to be magnified with that too. so legendary is a culmination of, uh, hold on there. Yeah. I almost, almost canceled you there. Hey, Speaking of cancellation culture, which I don't believe in, I pressed a button and it said, are you ready to leave? Did you see that, You could tell we're like, I was like, what? Asked if I'm going to leave.

3:40 to make it more dramatic is what you're doing here. He's living up to the breed love name. I was like, how the hell is this thing wanting to exit? We just started. uh Bunch of terrible choices and failure. What the heck, man? You know, that seems like, um, to hand it back over to you, but that seems like the big conversation in society right now. You have to accept failure to be able to succeed. And a lot of people are talking about it, but, um, it doesn't seem like a greater percentage of people embracing that idea. What's your thoughts? Yeah, I don't think people, I think people are scared of failing. I think people are more worried about how people perceive them. I think a lot of us high achieving ambitious men and women, we care about status. We care about ego. Uh, we want to be LinkedIn successful and Instagram fabulous.

4:23 We want to look good all the time. We want to be perfect. We get paid a lot of us for our wisdom. We get paid for our brains. We get paid for helping people make big decisions and Sometimes we get tied up in our own ego or on will or own knowledge. We get closed minded and certain men. And when humans get closed minded and certain, we become dangerously ignorant, arrogant people. And I think failure is the way it's easy to say, right. And when you're in failure, it sucks. It doesn't matter if it's a small business failure, losing a client or a member of your organization. doesn't matter if it's something huge, like a divorce or an integrity breach failure sucks. And it's what.

5:03 whatever you do with it, man. But you can't learn and grow. I mean, you've heard all the great athletes. We've heard all the great cliches, man. You didn't win. If you're winning every game by 40 points, you're either playing the wrong teams in the wrong league, et cetera. So until someone kicks your ass or life kicks your ass or business kicks your ass and you make mistakes, but here's the truth. Are you going to let it, you know, drag you down into abyss? Are you going to learn and grow from it and say never again? And for me, man, it took me years and years and years till I said no more. And I think when people say no more, and honestly, when we stop letting people who don't matter matter, we give so much credence about what other people think.

5:43 And I think there's in our lives, there's really only like 10 people that really matter. But also I'm not talking about your stakeholders or your investors or your customers. Cause you're going to show up almost any time, all the time for them. If you have any idea about what you're doing and know anything about business, if you don't do that, you're dead. But I'm talking about the people in our personal lives, our important relationships, our intimate relationships, our friendships, et cetera. There's really only like 10 of them that you can nurture and maintain at any time. And as long as you're impressing your 88 year old self and your 80 year old self, man, you're good to go. But I think people are scared to fail, man. And I don't think people like committing failure. And I think we got to be, you know, and now it's It's, it's on steroids with the social media and media platforms.

6:26 So yeah, I think it's a problem. What do you do when that crazy ego pops up, right? Because as successful as you are with that big confidence, with the personality and the skills you have, no doubt you have to fight it sometimes and deal with it. all the time, all the time. just had a, I'll tell you what I do is God willing learn from it, grow from it. And I have surrounded myself. You just met one of them. One of my colleagues, Erica, she's literally our right hand and legendary. We're small. The mountain top lodge has a bigger team, but legendary. only have seven or eight people at any given time. We run a lean mighty team. She's my right-hand person, but we have something. I hope it's okay to say we have something called the douche factor. I'm like, is this overly douchey under douchey? Are we being arrogant?

7:06 Are we being humble? Are we being firm? Are we being clear? But I'll tell you this, man. We just did a speaking gig for a large consulting firm. was a eight hour workshop on leadership clarity. I'm sure we'll get into that here in a little bit. And we did not, and it's the first time we've ever just got just killed in ratings afterwards. We either got, there was, think a hundred people in the audience or 80 people in the audience. had 45, so that's the best you could get. And like 38 ones and a couple of threes. And what we realized is the executive team, the sales team, the human resources team, and the strategists loved us. The engineers, the analytics, the consultants, the people who do the day to day, the up and comers, they didn't relate to it.

7:51 And literally here's one of the comments and you're asking about arrogance. They said it was really, really wonderful for the company to invest such a high amount of money. into Tommy for me to listen to Tommy talk about Tommy for eight hours. And I'm like, man, that hurts. So, you know, it's just one of these funny things that, you know, you've got to take it, you got to shake it off, you got to learn from it. And what we do is look for trends. Like what are the trends? What could we be getting better? Why did we not relate? Why are we only relating to the strategy sales and executive team? And what can we do different going forward? And also brother, I'm in the success business.

8:32 run communities and experiences. That's what I do. We're not in the coaching business. We're in the challenging connecting and helping people conquer their goals business. But man, not only are we running these masterminds, running these leadership experiences, running these retreats, doing these adventure things based around professional, personal and leadership success. But right now I'm working with two coaches and I'm in a mastermind. Hopefully. to not only level up my craft, but also stay humble, to stay coachable, to learn and to hopefully grow. So yeah, do I get stuck in diva mode on a regular basis? Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard. And I work hard at being curious first, critical second.

9:15 I work hard at being a learner, not a knower. But man, and I don't know if you relate to this or not. And I hope, I hope y'all not losing your audience, but when you constantly, constantly, constantly work on yourself. and surround yourself with bad-ass and world-class people. It's hard. You start speaking a different language. You start energetically flowing different. You start tolerating less. Your standards get higher, significantly higher. What you will tolerate gets significantly, you know what saying? Lower. And then you got to go out into an airport and holy cow, how inefficient, not happy, mediocre that is. Or even worse, you come to North Georgia where, thank God, we now have a Publix.

9:57 don't know, that doesn't exist throughout the country, but now we have a Publix. But before that, we had a Walmart. You want to go see mediocrity at its finest, go to there. So yeah, bringing myself back to that kid who had nothing, bringing myself back to the South Side street kid, bringing myself back to humility. As you level up, it gets harder, but surrounding yourself with people like, Hey man, you're drinking your own colleague. That helps. But yeah, do I struggle with it? A hundred percent. Is it easy to find clarity where you're at now? Being able to like, you know, drink your own Kool-Aid, but have clarity around what went wrong at such an elite event like that? Yeah, 100%. It actually gets easier to sharpen your pencil and it actually gets easier to hone it.

10:38 You know, when you're first as an entrepreneur, you'll kiss every flog, you'll chase every shiny object, you're doing everything on your own. You're just hoping someone will raise their hand and say, Hey man, I want to hang out with you or Hey, I'd love to buy your product. I mean, that's just the way it is. If anybody says that's not it. It's kind of how it has to be, isn't it? Unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. But as you get, you know, we're in the clarity business. And so our job is to practice what we preach and every year, you know, come up with who we want to be. This is the direction we're going to go. Always be willing to pivot because some of the things we innovate or go to doesn't work. But as you start honing in, it gets more crystal clear. As you get more into it, what you do and who you do it for gets a lot more clear.

11:21 Now you got to constantly be innovating because there's some some person coming behind you that could probably do it better, faster. And you know they're coming if you're not sharpening the pencil. But I think getting crystal clear, holding your standards, hiring and recruiting the right people, it gets easier, but also who you allow in as we call them members, but who you allow in as clients or customers also gets a little easier. But man, I'm telling you, there was years and years, were kissing frogs, know, shaking every hand, kissing every baby, see me, like me. Pivoting to this direction, pivoting to that direction, et cetera. And it just takes a minute, man. But the key is always have a coach, always be willing to sharpen your pencil. Even Tiger Woods has someone helping him putting and hitting the ball.

12:04 Right. And all the greats have coaches surround yourself with people who will kick you in the face, but also lift you up. And here's the hard part. Here's the heart of the part that you probably struggle with too, Mark is finding people who truly want you to be successful and happy. when you become successful and happy, right? A lot of people want to just, they're enemies in the making and there's a jealousy bug that we have and you find out that the hard way. And so that's a hard part of life too. But again, those are all the failure. We can go back to full circle. Those are the failures that take you forward, man. Anyway, I'll stop talking. We'll keep moving on. They, what we find is people are rooting for us, all these people in our lives, in our network, they're rooting for us in a significant way until we actually achieve the goal and we start living the life.

12:49 And it's wild and it happens so quick for so many folks that it's a shock when it happens. Yeah. It's a shock. It hurts. Yeah. I mean, it really hurts when you lose what you think is a good friend, someone you've been in the trenches with. And sometimes you don't know. Um, sometimes we're a hundred percent accountable or 80 % accountable six. And we just don't know what our part in it was, what their part in it was, where the, the lack of community. Some people are just jealous. Some people are just envious. Sometimes we're jealous and envious. That's something I've been working on a long time too, is not looking down on the people that stood where I once stood. and knowing, I've been there brother, let's do this together. But also instead of being envious and jealous of the people that I would love to become, the people that I work, that I hire to help me be better is let them, you know, they're humans, they're flawsome, right?

13:38 They got their flaws and they're awesome. They're perfectly imperfect, but also like looking at what they do well, being inspired by them, rooting for them, knowing that we can get there, but also taking their humanity and hopefully we can learn from that and. Maybe we can learn not to do that part, but take this part because I think we, we put all these business leaders and entrepreneurs and we've put them on pedestals. They're just human, man. So hey, that five or 10 minutes that you just riffed on, it was awesome, but it sounds like Tommy's just auditing. He's self-auditing all the time, everything around him. I'm like, oh, that's from the &A and Deloitte world. There you go. Always auditing, uh Always brother.

14:21 are you searching for? you searching for a different level of being legendary? Do you already think that you've built that you've arrived at being like what what is it that we're always auditing for just to get better? I think, let's start with, do I think I'm legendary? Absolutely not. And what I love about that word, and we just saw it real time. I don't really follow as much stuff as I used to, but I'm telling you, I must've had 10 lawyers and 30 people reach out to me. Apparently there's a young man. I was very familiar with his father, because I'm from Atlanta, Deon Sanders. And I'm going to answer your question. His young son, who's probably got the talent of Deon and the look, probably the better looks and you know, I got the whole world at his feet.

15:03 Apparently he started calling himself legendary and apparently his brand is very similar to our brand. That's why people were reaching out to me that doesn't really get, I don't get too fine, whatever about that. But it's interesting when we call ourselves legendary, the world pretty much pooh poohs on us, right? They're like, nah, brother, you're not legendary. What I love about the word is it's so aspirational. And it's about building a legacy, making an impact and leaving this world with no regrets and a heart full of gratitude, knowing that we're going to mess up along the way. But for me, what I love about the aspirational title of the book and our entire movement for business leaders and high achievers is that it's given to us.

15:46 And man, you can be known as legendary in your field, legendary in your craft, legendary in your business, legendary as a man, a father, a wife, a mother, whatever. But what I love about the title is it's given to us and you and I both know Mark, we've had so many people generationally that were legends for all the wrong reasons and legends for all the right reasons. And so we're seeing real time a young man that maybe put himself on legendary status a little early. I think he's going to be fine with all that talent and backing he's got behind him. But you know, for me to say I'm legendary, no, for me, legendary means a lot of things. I think it's constant, constant growth.

16:26 sharpening the pencil, the data's out there when people retire and just go to the beach, the data on 80 % more likely to get put on a prescription drug within a year, 70 % more likely to get obese, et cetera, et cetera. There's all these statistics and how earlier they die. I think it's always finding a purpose throughout life until your last breath, being well to serve, finding fulfillment, finding significance. I think it's about eternal growth because I don't think if you're growing mentally, physically, spiritually, Emotionally you're dying. And so I think it's, it's really wanting to make a difference, really wanting to make an impact. Now I'm not saying continue working that 50 to 90 hours.

17:07 There's various ways to make an impact, but I think it's all about knowing who you are, where you're going, who's coming with you and where you're serving in this. And I think when you do that and you make service and impact and value your number one, think you get closer to the legendary status as opposed to just worrying about your status. Takes one to know one been there, been there and done that and failed on that front. So to me, that's when at the end of the, know, how people talk about you and no one's going to read our resume. They're really not going to do it. It's, it's, it's just when legendary is either given to you or not given to you, it's aspirational for all of us. And that's why we titled it that we had like 20 bad titles before that. And then someone said legendary, was like, Oh, you have to go get that man.

17:50 Let's put that as the title. And so it's really cool. Yeah. Does, do you feel that clarity is also synonymous with simple? Yes and no. I think clarity can make it simple if you make it about clarity. If you know exactly who you are, your non-negotiables in life, what you would fight for, what you fight against, what you believe in and do your best. And it's super hard to hold yourself to those standards, to those core values, to those non-negotiables and those principles. If you do that, life gets a lot easier. Because if you do that, no matter what life throws at you from business failure to sickness to all the other things that happens to humans, I think that makes it easy.

18:37 I think if you know where you're going, the vision of what you want your future to be and the more narrow it is, I'm talking about vision and all from personally to professionally to relationally, all that. I think the more you shoot toward that by knowing who you are and where you're going, I think it gets easier. I think finding your significance slash fulfillment slash purpose. know those are buzzwords that are using nonstop these days, but they are important. I think knowing where you need to serve during this season, knowing that changes throughout your life. think that makes it easier because when Rome is burning and it always burns, you know, we're always in season, spring, summer, fall, winter, and winter's hard, right? It's a hard season when things, nothing's going right.

19:18 But I think if you make it that simple and you can follow those, which is. Sounds simple, but not easy, right? I think having that clarity and a tribe around you that will support that clarity makes all the difficult times. Does make it simple, but I have found this and I don't know if you'll relate to this or not. It's hard for people who haven't. think on, I think all you've heard the parable of the Mexican fishermen, right? This business man comes down, sees the guy fishing, he's bringing in the fish in the boat and he says, you know, you have wonderful fish, wonderful product. You know, if you scaled and brought in more fishermen and all the things you could become a billionaire and one day you could come back and fish by yourself here and it's really already doing it.

20:00 So I think the whole point of that is, is on the request of more simple and easier life, more freedom. think what all of us entrepreneurs, all business leaders and all people who want to make an impact and who, who identify as high achieving and ambitious. I think we want to be free. And freedom comes with freedom of time, doing what we do with who we want to do it, when we want to do it, but it also comes with resources. But a lot of us, including me, you know, then all of a sudden you're pivoting into the hotel restaurant industry. You go by a second house, then you get a partner up with this person, or you go here, now you're dealing with lawyers and accountants and M &A and lawsuits and 20 employees and they all got their own self-interest and problems and nonsense.

20:49 And we've got our own nonsense. becomes super, super complex fast. And so I think is it easy to say it gets simpler? Depends on what you want simple to be. But as our, you know, we all are attracted to whatever our shiny object could be significant travel. could be world-class watches. could be cars. could be houses, could be status. And if we don't say we're chasing status, we're lying a little bit. All of us are lying a little bit. We all want to be like, me, see me, me, especially in today's world. So is it simpler if you know who you are, where you're going, who's coming with you and who's not coming with you even more importantly, and not letting people who don't matter and constantly not chasing the more and when it can become easier.

21:30 I don't know many people who achieve it. I right now, if I had to go through our entire membership network of legendary, I think of all the people we have, maybe two. And that how, how cool, how, how interesting is that? Right? And I'm not one of them, by the way. So how fascinating is that that you can identify there's two? Why can't we make it simple? Just do what they do. Yeah. So one of them sold the company ended up selling in the bees. He ended up having a nine digit exit, but almost like me, and I'm happy to tell my origin story at any time, but like me almost burned it down in the process.

22:12 And so through he's a Valid member, he's been through all of our programs, all of our retreats. He's into self-development. now is exactly, I mean, he lives his life exactly the way he wants to live his life. Starts from a core value standpoint, then a purpose standpoint, and then his family values. And so I think with the economic resources, I think he goes into total give back mode, investor mode, sitting on a board mode, but he does one, he's constantly reinvesting in his family relationships. And so he'd be the first to tell you. that he almost gave up everything. The other guy, so he wasn't always there is the point of that. And when he said no more and when he said no more, that's when the company accelerated.

22:56 When he just started being him and not worrying about all the other things and delegating and bringing people up, that's when his life just took off. The other guy went through a horrific, horrific, and we have a lot of women too. So I don't want to just, these are the two guys that I know are living the life, man. The one guy. was a builder, builder, serial entrepreneur comes, both of those guys, by the way, came from nothing. uh Most of our people are first generation entrepreneurs, first generation business leaders. They don't come from money. They don't come, they don't have a trust fund. So it's interesting. That just seems to be. Yeah, big misconception in the world that people just won't really visit the truth. Yeah. Yeah. And so the, guy, the other guy who's a dear friend as well, he went through a horrific divorce that crushed him.

23:39 m Stole a soul. Stole a soul. Yep. And in his situation, wasn't the, the, the, I've got to be careful. The accountability wasn't really as much on his side. If that makes sense, I'll just say it that way, but it killed him. And he, goes, I'm going to, worked so hard to build their future, but because of that, he found his permanent wife. He's now had two children with her. He's built the entire system. He's literally used every system and tool in the world. that he only does his one thing. He only does one thing and one thing only and everything else outside of him is either done by another human or automated.

24:21 He has more time than any human being on earth, but he's so damn discerning about who he spends time with. But number one is gonna be his wife, who's also huge at Chick-fil-A, his two kids, that's one and two. And what he does number three, and he's got all the time in the world, but he also does something that he's also a member of what we do, but he does something that I love. Quarterly, he goes and gets away for three days by himself. No book only, no phone. And he is mapping out what's working, what's not working, stop, start, do. This is where I'm going this quarter. Here's what I'm going to give up. Here's where I'm going to. So he's, he is so dialed in.

25:03 What they both have is complete freedom of time. and choosing every moment of every day. And neither one of them, it's easy to say for the one, but he's really, when he stopped being motivated by status, achievement, and money, and just started doing his thing, he skyrocketed. And the other one got crushed and said, I don't want to build something for some, let me, let me build the life that I want to build with these other people. So that's really what they have different than everybody else. And here's the thing they didn't do is quit. It's easy to quit. easy to sell your business. See to self-sabotage, it's easy to slow down. There's all sorts of things we do as business leaders, as entrepreneurs to just self-sabotage.

25:46 And they didn't give up. They didn't self-sabotage. They resilient through it. They ate the glass as Elon Musk like to say, and they went through it. So man, I'm talking more than I normally talk. Listen, I feel like I'm one of the hundred people that I just had to listen to Tommy for eight hours. What the hell? You gotta give me the one star rating, Um, I have to be better than one star before I can give it to you, man. Um, so the most selfless thing we can do is put ourselves first. Interesting for somebody to make such a statement like that. Yeah. I couldn't, it's, it's, it's the number one pillar that everything I and our company has built on. And it's most counterintuitive thing because a lot of people put their kids first, um, whether they'll admit it or not, business leaders, entrepreneurs and executives put their business first, almost the data is the data.

26:40 You know that they say their family, say their friends, they say their kids, the data is the data. I know the data, So we put the business first. We put a lot of families put their kids first. Very little of us put our marriages first. But here's the thing, man. If we're not leading ourselves first, if we're not whole, if we're living with insecurities and fears and voices in our head, and we're not leveling up, especially mentally and the key to life, man, the key to happiness is mastering your emotions and mastering your mindset, which is hard. Cause you're always fighting against that negative voice. You're always fighting against your shame monster. You're fighting against your insecurities.

27:21 You're bringing the, the, enemy into your own head, which then goes into everything that you do. When you start mastering your mindset, mastering your emotions, finding spiritual fortitude, but also leveling up your skills, i.e. your number one asset. And it's less than an hour a day. Some of us do more than that because we're in the business, but in less than an hour a day, which is 2 % of your waking time really, or a little, maybe a little like 2.4%. But if you work on you every single day, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, and you work on you, you show up better, your, how you vibrate, how you show up in the world, your strength, your self-confidence, your courage, you know, you know exactly who you are and you're not trying to be someone else.

28:09 That to me, is the number one thing we fail at as leaders is we put everything else, including our families, our friends, our businesses, our customers in front of, but it, to me, it all starts with us and it's not the most selfish thing you can do. It's the most selfless. That's what I believe. What do you think Mark? Well, I don't know. think it's the metaphor and the analogy of, you know, if they say that you're airplane, you're the plane you're on loses pressurization and the oxygen mask comes down put yours on first, right? Yep. Because you can't save everybody else if you can't save yourself first. Correct. So is that what we're saying here? Like is that the simplistic old country boy personality I have to hear that and that's what it means to me? That's it, man.

28:50 You couldn't have said it any better yourself, man. You can't save others if you're weak. You can't project yourself with courage and self-confidence if you're insecure. You can't lead from the front if you don't even know how to lead yourself. And so how you do anything is how you do everything. I mean, it's the old cliche that's been around for thousands of years. Yeah, I'd prefer not to be the martyr. I actually want to live a great life. I don't want to play the martyr. No, no. And martyrs, people pleasing. It's, um, some say it's selfless, but what do our martyrs have in common? They, yeah, they die. Yeah, they die. And most of them are nothing. Now there's a couple they, well, three that I know of for sure that they've built billion person religions around, you know, or close to it.

29:36 Right. Um, that's a whole different topic for probably a different podcast, but you know, martyrs that's people pleasing. It's putting other people's first. It's. giving your last shirt when you don't have any shirt to give it's, it's filling other people's battery when your batteries and that just ends in tragedy in so many different ways, man. And so many different ways. another one or you gotta teach them how to fish versus give it to them right? Amen. Amen. The, um... Back to when you were 19. Does all this success and who you've become track back to that? That kid, that boy. I think it tracks to two and it's interesting and I got to just say this and my sister and I come from the same family and I'll give you the background without going into all the details from on the street to definitely inside the home.

30:31 There was a significant amount of violence, abuse of every type and kind that was just not good. And I went one way, but really could have been tragic twice. And I'll talk about that very simplistically so we can go deep into it. Is my sister within a, with the exception, so I'm 50, let me put it in perspective. I'm 51, my sister is 61. She has only been a productive, active member of society about eight to 10 years of her life. And she has really struggled in and out of all kinds of things. problems and, know, and so I don't know, I really, the answer I don't know is why I went one way and she didn't the other.

31:16 I don't, that's the answer. And if you look at so many families that come from certain circumstances, it typically happens. It's interesting. I don't know the answer there, but because I grew up in around that violence abuse, um, but I always worked hard in school. I always had good charisma, which came from my mother. Um, she had a great qualities and some her brutal qualities, but At 19 to tell the audience the story is I was the first person in my family projected to not only go to college, I had full ride scholarships to four or five universities. I was going to be the first person member of my family to go to college and God willing graduate because I come from a lower middle-class blue collar part of the world.

32:01 And instead of that at 18 years old, when I'd just gotten out of high school, I became that violence and abuse. committed a violent crime and all those scholarships were revoked. And I was looking at two felonies and seven years in prison. And it's important to go to the second fall as well. Luckily, I was sentenced to two years. It was dropped to two heavy misdemeanors. I was sentenced to two years with five deferred. So I did spend my 19th birthday incarcerated in a cage. Cool thing happened, man. Some crazy stuff happened in there, but the amazing thing that happened in there was An African-American gentleman in his forties, I'm 18, white kid, decided to cross racial lines and he called me Youngblood.

32:46 His name was Tony. He called me Youngblood. He's like, Youngblood, you're not going to become a, I don't know why you're here. He knew why I was there, but you're not coming back. So with his accountability, his mentorship, his love, when I got out, this is real quick. I went and worked for a nuclear waste container factory for $6 during the day, community college at night. And by the way, that work was brutal. It cost me a back surgery and a hernia surgery. Community college at night ended up at the University of Georgia, graduated with honors from with accounting and hired by Deloitte, which is one of my things I'm most proud of is I went from not the greatest neighborhood to a cage to, to a community college, to a factory, to the University of Georgia and graduated and got hired by Deloitte in three years.

33:32 No, and I just, I just won an award for a. uh Distinguished alumni award at Georgia for accounting. And I told the story that I was so embarrassed to tell for some of years. And I was like, Hey, before any of you start knocking Deloitte's hiring policies, all of you dudes tried to hire me. So real quick, fast forward. I thought if I just out hustled everybody out, achieved everybody got to the top of the game, made partner, got in the corner office, made all the money, which I did. And so fast forward to 36. I've been recruited out of Deloitte to other firms. I've got the corner office, the cuff links, the big watch, the pretty wife, the money, the salary, the title.

34:17 But brother, I I never Mark ever dealt with those demons that rage and insecurity, the I'm not enoughs, the things, the deep dark secrets that I had in my brain that I just really thought I was a piece of garbage. And so, cause that's what was taught to me, right? But I made the choices. I'm going to hope there's a personal accountability and extreme ownership here, man. And I know that was one of your former podcasts. It's enjoyable. But man, I turn, I swear to you when, when it didn't light me up, I had to go find something else that lit me up unconsciously, right? I'm just running because I don't, I'm like, why am I still unhappy? Why am I so mad? Why do I have in a room of thousand people and you could pay me whatever and I'd still be upset.

34:59 Cause what most would say in that moment is, dude, what are you bitching about? There's a lot of people that would trade our life for that. Totally, totally. And you're probably dealing with that too because you're an intelligent smart guy. You're like, what is going on in this world? It had to be massively confusing, like a cyclone going on. It was, it was, I felt alone. felt odd. felt like a freak. Why do I have these thoughts and rage and why I have these desires and insecurities? Why can't I be happy? I've married the most safe, beautiful woman. Why am I sabotage, trying to sabotage that in every way known to man? And brother, I lived the Wolf, like that Wolf of Wall Street, people love it and they, they they're entertained by it. Not me, man. I look at that and say, that's real.

35:40 I lived it and it almost cost me my relationship. My whole business, I was partner at the firm. It almost cost me my life. And I ended up in a ditch in Atlanta after doing probably some massive deal somewhere and half-dressed, looking at the sky, didn't know how I got there. And I'm like, man, I tell you what, no more. No more am I going to live a lie. No more am I going to be angry. No more am I going to be sad and sabotage. And I actually looked around Mark and I'm like, you everybody's running out of my life. I got a wake of destruction. looked successful on the outside, but no one really likes me and everybody's running from me. There's only one common denominator here. That's me.

36:25 Maybe I'm the issue. That's the moment. Everything I've learned in life in these 46 years, that's the moment. When you're like, the common denominator is me. And I just said, more, man. And from that moment on, I just said, I don't care what it takes. So from therapists to business coaches, to life coaches, to personal development, from books to talking to wonderful people like you, I've just made personal, professional leadership development therapy and just being better. And every single day I've nicknamed my alter ego who wants to burn Rome down. Ike.

37:05 Every day I kicks up, was, he just wants to come in and destroy something or someone including really me, but he wants to do it via other people. And then I also had this thing called the Tommy go round when I get in my spiral and I can't get out of it. Right. I'm like, that's when the voice is taken over. But every day, that's why to me, this I'm so, if you asked me my why it's because this work saved my life and to take it a step further into others. Our goal at legendary is really to connect them with people like them, to challenge them to grow in all facets, great content and experiences and retreats and all the things to help them conquer their goals.

37:46 But more importantly, it's because takes one to know one. was a disaster when I was a kid and then got it right professionally. And then I was uh world-class professionally and then. tried to burn it all down and all of us have our demons and insecurities and fears. And we're not the therapy business. We're in the success business, but there's formulas and tools and tactics and surrounding yourself for like-minded people who are just like you. So my why is A, saved my life and continues to save my life. But B is we want to help people not only be elite in what they do and in their leadership, but more importantly, God willing, as best as you can be elite in who you are and how you impact your most important relationships and the legacy and impact you make.

38:32 And so that's the really the origin story. So legendary, the book came from pain. and then I think it became popular because it's simple and executable. It's not theory. This is stuff I've lived and biohacked. and performed and you know, I probably take 15, 20 % of the book out now and replayed it with new stuff I've learned. You know, it's been five years, so don't know. Will you do that? Because that's normally what happens. Yeah, a hundred percent. Probably, probably either this year or next, because there's stuff we take out and like, Hey, you know, I don't really see it that way anymore. And here's some stuff I've learned and tweaked that way. But it also has stories that like simple short stories of others that executed on those particular things.

39:16 And so I think it's tactical. think it's fun. I think it's short. think that's important. And so it's, it's, it's a lifestyle that I aspire to live by. I've written a book that I can never live up to ever. Damn, we work our butts off for it. you, all fair, and this is irrelevant, but you talk to a young lady who is a rock star in our practice. I mean, she's our second in command. watching the, and her story is hers to tell, but watching how elite she was when we hired her, but how broken behind the scenes, we didn't know. But she has literally dived in to the work we teach and our masterminds and our, she does the work.

39:57 And watching her over the last three and a half years just escalate in every single way is just, it's all wing. And that's our why, man. And that's our, and watching those two guys we talked about earlier coming from what they did and now who they are. And you know, we're, we focus mostly 60 to 70 % on business, but that 30 % of life, we don't take care of that and clean that side of street up and get real bad real fast, man. In my world it did. So I hope, I hope people can do it without the pain that I experienced. Hey, thanks for tuning in. If you like these types of conversations, be sure to follow the necessary entrepreneur on your favorite platform. So you never miss out on future content. Isn't that the goal? What you're building and some other people are building is you're trying to circumvent that and maybe shorten the curve and make it less painful.

40:42 The big question I would have is like, it possible? Maybe you're, maybe you're just the buddy and the friend and the network to be there as they go through it, to work through this. Maybe that's the case to say, keep going, but There's all these unanswered questions. ah Those are Right? Yeah. Hey, listen, man, I debate them in my mind at sometimes trying to figure out, know, I'm a guy who feels I feel good in my own skin now in life. I've for the most part, I pretty, I pretty much have, but that's through just massive depth of just evaluating like who you are and what you're doing and what this thing is. Sometimes I'm like, man, are we really on a revolving cylinder that the tides come and go with the moon?

41:25 And if it is a big bang, well, what was before that? And if religion is what was there's so many questions that there's mysteries to all of them that I believe that are going to be unanswered in this physical form where we're here. So it's like, what do we do with this? What do we do with the mindset, the purpose? How do we get through this life and feel like we're making a difference that we can smile every day through the challenge and struggle? they're, they're, deep questions. They're real deep and they're getting deeper because you talk about people who didn't have the technology. Really, if you did, and you probably researched this stuff too, it's the best it's ever been from equality to access to knowledge and food and less war. doesn't, you know, with mass media and social media, doesn't seem like it, but it's the best time ever.

42:08 it's. I think Warren Buffett talks about, he talks about, you know, wealthy people from 150 years ago. And he said, the most destitute of our society now have a better wife than the most wealthy person 150 years ago. Yep. I think they were happier though. Ha Why do you think it is? They felt like they had it the best? I think they were happier because they weren't inundated with second by second by, you know, we live in a casino, man. Yeah. So basically you felt like they're in control of it all. They didn't have things constantly beating on their ears, their mind, their eyes, their everything from dings on our phone to social media, to email, to texts, too many options.

42:56 mean, you can go and we can literally look and there's 600, if you're going to live in a city, there's 600 food options and 6,000 of these options. And it was just, you didn't have those options and you had each other and you didn't have distractions. And it's just. that we live in a world of, you it's not either weapons of mass destruction as weapons of mass distraction. And I think we get lost and it's just constant dopamine hits and comparison and all the things. And I think it's, it, it really starts rewiring our hearts, minds and brains to negativity, fear, shame, and jealous and envy. But there's also a lot of power to it. And so it's, we can make the choice to cut it off and reconnect or not.

43:37 So we'll see what we do with it. Yeah, right. Yeah, death by a thousand cuts is what it sounds like. Is nothing truly impossible. You know, the answer is I don't know. I don't know that. We're not using X percentage of our brain. I don't know what it is. We still haven't figured out energetic soul. They're doing these sciences on your heart has memory and wisdom. We've always said that in other ways, intuition, soul, gut, all the things. Our brain is untapped. We're thinking about colonizing Mars.

44:17 Hell, we were using horses 150 years ago and before that there was not wheels at one time. So I don't really know the answer to that. I know the people who prove the impossible possible are really the people that we aspire and look up to. We still haven't got the theory of relativity and time. I just recently read Einstein's uh autobiography by Walter Isaacson. We still don't understand time. We don't understand the soul. We don't understand depth. We're untapped. We're unmatched. AI is coming faster, bigger, stronger. Can do things that we've never thought possible. And what are we going to do in our brains for that?

44:57 we going to, you know, there's, so many, but I know every, every time somebody somewhere said it was impossible, somebody hands them their beer and say, watch this. It's it's it's it's or Roger Banish with a four-minute mile, right? There's just so many of these stories. Right? It was it couldn't do it and then he did it. What a hundred people did it over the next year or two or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and whether you like her or not, you know, that's, that's probably the biggest one that I know of right now, because eons went by and people, thought you'd die over. And then all of sudden, how many did it in that one year? It's crazy. Um, but you know, you hear of all these stories of rags to riches, the hero's journey, for lack of a better word, you know, Oprah was told her voice stinks and she was terrible at what she does.

45:47 mean, like really. Michael Jordan's I invoked her and I think Bezos last night um in his career night, you know, one of the companies I run is always recruiting and trying to find great people and to change their life. And they say, Hey, will you show up and share the passion and the reality of the business? And, and so I invoked her and Bezos, said, you know, I don't know if Jeff Bezos and Oprah Winfrey, I used them because they're, they're on complete opposite ends of the spectrum on how we judge people these days from gender, from color of their skin, from their journey. But, um, I said, I don't know if they're better. than us as humans, I just know that they just took massive action and didn't quit and believed in something so big.

46:30 And they probably had a pain threshold that was above almost everyone else. There's just these simple things like Bezos says, give me 60 or 70 % of the information. I'll make a decision. I'm around people every day that want 99 and a hundred percent of the information before they make the decision to ensure that the rocket isn't going to blow up, which is NAS what NASA did versus what Elon does. And we have to get over this political stuff about saying Elon Musk and it just evokes people. 18 months ago, they loved him because he created electric cars and Tesla and stuff. But if you look at him, we would see those rockets go up in the air and blow up. And we looked at those as failures, society did. He looked at it as learning and we're taking action fast. And so what they did, they would accomplish in a year what it would take NASA a decade to do.

47:13 And all of those people, and they would tell you this, um some of them, at a certain brain point, think EQ gets lost a little bit. I mean, we saw it in Jobs, his emotional intelligence, and not until he realized he really started finding it toward the end. think Elon would tell you he struggles with that. I can tell you, David, I can know for a fact that David Coggins would tell you he struggles with that. And these people are elite, elite, elite, elite. so many physically, mentally, they don't give up. have grit. Correct. In all the different ways, but I guarantee you, Mark, everyone listening myself, they would tell you that there's things that we have that they don't vice versa.

47:54 I think it's leveraging people, leveraging their vision, legendary. think focus, focus, focus, focus, not giving up resilience, being willing to pivot. They would all, they're not, they're definitely, I guarantee you from an academic standpoint, Elon and Steve are much smarter than, much smarter than me. But maybe on the EQ front, the leadership front, the empathy front, and maybe in certain other ways I might be, but you know, they, they found ways to, to ignite people. if you look at all those people, how long did it take them, man? Long time, it's not just a lot of people track this in years, but we should track it as hours spent on it within the year as well.

48:36 The urgency and the pace that they've done it. A lot of them, would say they've compacted most people's hundred years of learning into maybe 10 or 15 years. And the reason why they look so different is because the average person, if they have this normal life where we started working over early twenties, and then we're to work till mid sixties or in the sixties, they never gained the experience in that 50, 40 or 50 years of work. that those elite people were talking about did in 10 years because of the complete all-in bottom. That's how my mind processes it. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. think you're spot on. And I think, you know, I have zero desire because we use the billionaire word, like it's water. That's just an outcome. That's just an outcome of what happens.

49:17 Agreed. think people, there's what, 700 or 900 of them? There's not many. Out of 300 million people in the US, worldwide, I don't know what the number, it doesn't really matter. That is an outcome and it is a choice they've made. And once they got to a certain point, they decided to keep going. I think you and all of us need to really define success and happiness as a journey. come and go, life happens, right? But what is success in your life? in your home, in your business, in your career, if you work for somebody else or if you're an executive or an entrepreneur, like what is, what do you want? And it could. full spectrum of that and I'm interrupting for a reason. Yeah. Because we we we try to answer this question the same way for every human but it's like, hey, is there a wide spectrum of what that is?

50:01 Yeah. Oh, huge, huge spectrum. And there's no right or wrong. You know, we, look for black and white right or wrong. These questions of purpose and success are in your core values. They're all soul level stuff. There's no pass fail, right, wrong. And you can change, you know, most of the time you're deep, deep stuff probably is not going to change. But what you want to do, where you want to go, who you want to do it. You know, you get a little season and mud on your tires and you get scuffs on your knees and you've failed. And you're like, you know, maybe I don't want to do it that way anymore. Maybe I want to work toward this and not that. And that's okay. You know, there's no right or wrong.

50:42 Danny, there's no formula to any of this. Now there is tactics and tools and habits. within legendary, that's the stuff that people are working through with you, right? Like there has to be systems that you've built that helps people arrive at these conclusions and figure out a little bit, maybe more about their intimate why and their purpose maybe, what's happened. Yep. Couldn't agree more brother. And Jim Rohn said something a long time ago and I can't unhear it yet. He, he. personal philosophy means everything. I love what he said. you know, I, about one Sunday a month, I get to go to this one of my holy places and just listen to some Jim Rohn early morning with a of coffee. It's one of my things, but I listened to it over and over and over again.

51:25 I'm like, man, if I, but he says the reason I want everyone, every, and he means this, everyone to make a million dollars a year. So they know who they have to become to do it. And I'm like, whew. Why do you think, why do you think he was, uh, you know, had a guy on a few months ago that, you know, Tony Robbins was influenced by Jim Rohn. had a guy on named Todd Herman recently who hoped, who helped Kobe develop the alter ego of the black mamba. He actually was on the phone when Kobe was going through that. uh but he studied directly next to and right under Jim Rohn and What do we think from the outside?

52:12 For me that I wasn't fortunate enough to meet him, didn't make the intentional mindset stuff to go be around a guy like that. um Why is he so special to us? Why do you think? Is it his style of communication? Is how he breaks things down simplistic? What do you think it is? that and yes, I think it's his pain. think his willingness and open up maybe one of the first, can't quote that he is the first, maybe one of the first to talk about his failings. He didn't get it right. What he works on to study. I think he's funny as hell. I think he became elite at his craft. I think he practiced, practiced, practiced. I think he actually walked the walk and practiced what he preached.

52:53 I think he was humble. um Because he didn't conquer all the things he talked about. That's what's so fascinating. Even close. Yeah. Not even close. And he admitted it. Yeah. I think it was a style. think we started lightening up on owning failure and screwing up and not being perfect and trying to live up to something that no one can ever live up to. And I also think he disseminated, I mean, there were so many before him too. He just did it funny, sexy and in mass form. Whereas the Napoleon Hills. The, a man thinketh, I can't think of his name off the top of my head. There were so many great people before them that gave the formula. He made it simple, sexy, funny.

53:35 He executed it. He did it. He added in things that he had done and habits that he had done. he, it's not just Tony. mean, Tony's the biggest name there is out there right or wrong. I mean, he's, he's touched so many lives. I think Darren Hardy was a direct descendant on the success and business side. He's pretty, pretty darn good too. And so. Pound Effect, one of the best, one of the best books that's been written. And it's all over Legendary and give credit. Legendary gives credit to Darren all over there. Yeah. Why do we also, I'm touching on some stuff from the book and pulling some things out and know, wafting up some easy little softballs to you here, but why do?

54:17 It's so important. I think you dealt with so many important things in the book and the philosophy, even what you have with Legendary Beyond the Book, but it's like, why do we have to do things differently? Because difference not fun, difference hard, we have to change. It's not popular to be different. You have to stand out from the crowd. But why do we have to do things differently? Because you believe that, you've stated it. It's a position. Why do we have to? You don't have to. You don't have to at all. No one's making it. We still, in my opinion, I've traveled the planet now living one of the greatest. We got our demons, we got our warts and scars. We live in one of the greatest places that there is. So what we have, all of us in this country, some countries don't have it, is the power of a choice.

54:59 And if you look in the mirror and you don't look what it's like, you don't have to do anything. You can, the easy thing is to continue vegging out, having that six beer, watching Netflix for 44 hours, you know, going to that same job you don't like and not looking at it right so maybe that's we're not gonna judge it if that's a choice people make you do you there you go but you're making an argument you want different you're you go. Yeah. And I think you get to do it. And I think a lot of us, and the whole point, and you said it so eloquently earlier, and I can't remember how you said it, Mark, is I think guys like you and I, think the reason for your podcast is you want to serve people and to help them and give them some tools and some thought leaders and your wisdom and knowledge and your pain to help them maybe do a little easier, little quicker, a little efficient without some of the hiccups.

55:46 some pain, some pain, remove some of it because the depth of it is really hard. Yeah, agreed. just think, I don't know why people have forgotten to want how to want. I don't know why people forgotten how to dream. I don't know why people can't say why not me, but I think it's hard for a lot of us. Uh, and I'll speak like us when in, I'm, let me, let me be clear. got it. I'm just going to keep it. I'm allergic. to victimhood, apathy, entitlement, and laziness. I'm allergic to it. However, our mass media in bulk promotes entitlement and victimhood.

56:32 And if you told you deserve or you're owed something or someone's trying to take something from you and give it to them and you're owed, like we got you. Think mass politics, think mass media, think at certain levels, mass religion. You start belief. That's all you read here and say. And if you're vegging out on that TV and looking at your computer and your phone, that's all you're going to know because it is rewiring your brain. so I think people are forgotten to say, why not me? I think people are forgotten. can dream. think people get stuck in their day-to-day ruts. think we are, you have been, every guest has said this, you you're a few, you show me your habits and the five people you hang out with and I'll tell you your future.

57:14 It's true, man. And so. What people have to do is say, you don't have to do damn thing. You get to do something. And I think it gets overwhelming to people. I'm not happy. I'm not successful. I'm not this. We'll start one thing. mean, to quote Darren, it's a compounding effect, just like interest, right? And so when you say, the problem is it usually has to get so bad that you just say no more. Or some people's threshold is pretty, they... They don't know even where to start. Um, but I think also on some level people, and I was one of them, they felt alone.

57:56 Uh, they were scared to ask for help. They think it's the weakest thing to do when it's actually probably the most courageous thing you can do. Um, but what, when people start this work, it doesn't matter if it's professional development, personal development, leadership, building a company saying, I want to do something different or Hey man, I don't know why I feel this way. Let me go talk to this therapist. Maybe I can get some clarity there too. I think once you do that, the whole world opens up to you and you realize, hey man, whole world is just as messed up as I am. I'm not alone in this journey. I'm not the only one fighting this fight. They've gotten through it. That's why I think these heroes journeys are so relatable. It's just, you know, getting people out of the day to day mundane monster wheel, the wheel and the negative information that's being consumed.

58:42 turning that off and looking in the mirror and say, man, enough is enough. Why not me? I'm going to learn to want again. It's okay to want to want. I'm going to learn to dream again and go do something about it, man. But they don't have to, they get to, and it's a choice. Have you found a way to have people try to understand that when you're on stage for eight hours, us listening to you, but when you're, like the keynoting, But when you're on stage putting together one of your live retreats or on stage and keynoting and you're working with big corporations in that moment, have you found a way? to try to have people understand that this Tommy wasn't where Tommy started and they can travel the same path too because who you are on stage seems so far distant and so far away, they can't comprehend how to get there.

59:37 that's one that you have, found a way to try to do that to say, Hey, listen, my journey started probably behind where you are now. Yes. And I think all of us give what I, especially in keynotes, it's easier. And in my own events, it's easier because we go so vulnerable, so authentic. And my co-facilitators do the same. What we do when you get real, real quick. And I remember probably my, we talked about my tragedy is because it was unrelatable to multiple different avenues of the business. know, either you loved it or you hated it. That's on Tommy Breedlove. That is not the audience. That's me. I didn't design it to be relatable to everybody in tech. And you know, they wanted me to cover all these different things that we will do much better next time, honestly.

1:00:20 And so, but on a keynote or in your own events and in your own businesses, I like to say we give people the gift of going second. And I think if you can tell no matter what your story is, and we all have a story, we've all had hiccups, we've all had tragedies, we've all overcome something. The quicker, and there's five or six ways to do it, but the quicker you can give people the gift of going second, the quicker you can get to the crux of your problem, the crux of your issue, what was challenging you, what you were overcoming. With your story, people are going to relate to it in some way or another, or they're going to apply it into their own lives because you're getting real, you're getting authentic, you're getting vulnerable, and you're getting to the point. And I remember one of the most successful.

1:01:02 And it was probably one of our biggest one-evers was a huge group of entrepreneurs up in Iowa. And I was like, I got to be honest with you. I'm going to, I got a confession to make and this is how started it. I'm not, I'm not doing what I'm about to tell you that I did for so many years. And here's what's happening in my life right now. You know, I was alone. My marriage got on the rocks again. Like, you know, here we are, you're seeing me on stage. You guys are paying me. Man, and I tell you, I had a big audience. I think our rating was like a 4.85 because I was like, here's what I'm dealing with now and here's why. And I gave them three things I'm really struggling with.

1:01:42 they were like, oh, as a human being, you're going to relate to one of those three. And I was like, here's my origin story for that young man. Here's what I was doing to not have these issues. And here, by the way, is what I'm doing now. You know, drank my own Kool-Aid, forgot my roots here, my course. And now I'm chasing this and here's what I'm going to do it now. And here's my three takeaways. And here's what I hope, from the, had them. And the whole point is not to have them is it was just honest and it was tactical. Like, and they also said, Hey man, there is two or three things I can go do now.

1:02:23 And I just own that I'm not doing these and I've done that at retreat. And it's not lost to me. You know, we have our leadership and success retreats then we have our, get clear as human beings and get better in those clear and get better. There's a relationship section. I was like, by the way, three quarters of things I'm telling you right now, I need to go do better in my own right. So what I love about what you and I do, Mark, is we get to talk in the mirror all day. all day. hey since you brought it up twice, tell me if it's out of bounds here but you brought up your wife. It seems like it's been a long marriage with a couple rocky moments. 28 years.

1:03:04 Why'd she stay? That's a question for her. I'll paraphrase. I'll tell you what she told me. um This is a true story. The second time I met her, she said, I'm going to marry you. And this was at university of Georgia and I was not in a spot to hear that. And I was like, who is this witchcraft psycho woman talking to me here? Here we are 28 years later. um I think she took accountability for our relationship and there's no relationship that has a hundred percent problem and zero percent problem. I think we did the work together when I started doing the work. Now she watched me for about a year. Is this just all hearsay BS is he just lip service?

1:03:47 But she saw me leaning into the therapist. She saw me leaning into the life coaches and the business coaches. She saw the tangible results. She saw what the habits I was removing out of my life. She owned her part in our co-dependent dance. She started doing the work. She said, I always saw all the good side. Now I was really hard on myself during that time too. I was taking extreme ownership and I had probably too much. And she took her part. took my part. She started doing the same work into this day, ups and downs, ups and downs. Now we're six steps back, six forward, four back, eight forward, two back, not 19 back, one forward. And so.

1:04:28 We really embrace this work. We embrace couples therapy. We embrace the stuff that we preach. We're honest about what we're working on. And, you know, we own two businesses that are growing and, you know, it's where we're challenged right now. Anyway, she loved me when I couldn't love me. She did the work. She owned her part. We even had a conversation today about we got to get back together, not on the relationship. side, but the business side, let's get more in sync. We had that today, we're going to do it on Sunday. Constantly checking in, constantly having air grievances and the gratitudes and all the things that we preach.

1:05:08 Like let's get it back on ship. But I think doing it together is, but the reason she said is she said she always saw the positive in me in this struggle. And she never really understood why I carried the burden that I get. Cause she comes from the wet picket fences and you can do anything. I came from the, you're not going to be in it. what you were getting into 28 years ago. Yeah. I think it's a combination of all of that and friendships are hard. Intimate relationships are hard. Colleagues, humans are hard, man. Life's hard, man. Life's hard as we're trying to go through this journey and figure it out little more every day. Yeah, but I think if I had to summarize it without having her answer the question, that's the way I remember.

1:05:49 Yeah. She had shared that with you. figured some. Yeah. The, did you know that you were living also some of Jim Rohn's advice, his best advice about how people were able to, he said, Hey, listen, let's make a deal. You've probably heard this one. He said, how about you take care of you for me and I take care of me for you. that. Love it. Prioritize the self man. So If we can have it all. The people that you are around consistently now at this high level, whether somebody's already there, elite and legendary, or they're working through the process of trying to achieve and become that.

1:06:35 We also have some people really struggling. But I think that's the one trying to become that. the dream. I don't believe that can be for me. um it. What's having it all look like consistently that you think a lot of these people that are in this really good process and they're like, man, you know, I really can't have it all. What does that statement mean? Have it, have it all. I think it would start with peace of mind. I really do. I think if I had to summarize my life, it would be the constant running from insecurity and fear and rage to peace. And I think when you have peace of mind, which is some people would call that enlightenment, heaven, nirvana, pure...

1:07:24 I think if you look at an Eckhart Tolle or an Oprah, they're pretty darn close to some mega piece of mind. I think it's a sense of freedom. I think it's a sense of every day of present moment gratitude. I think you're still going to have your fears and insecurities and life happens and sickness and humans doing human things and you doing human things. But I think that clarity of peace of mind, I think a sense of freedom, I think... a sense of no matter what happens, I've got this or somebody will help me have this. I think that really is having it all um in knowing that if everything in the world was taken away from you, that you'd either choose to rebuild it again or you choose something differently, but knowing you're going to be okay either way, I think that to me is where people aspire to be.

1:08:15 You say it well, man. think, um, it hits with me recently. Cause when I tell so many people for, there's these dramatic moments that you're trying to coach people through and you're trying to get them to understand what leadership means and how you can influence other people. like, guys, all really searching for your piece. I'm telling you. It's all we're searching for. And the closer that I get to that, the more balanced I feel in life. don't really have a balanced life, but the more balanced I feel. Because I think you can have massive action doing anything and you don't necessarily have what people call balance, but you feel balanced. I've got this thing handled, man. It's all weighted out. Okay. Yeah, sure. I'm, I'm, I'm into that. Um, what are you guys doing right now that you're trying to grow?

1:08:57 Um, you're going to sit down with your inspirational wife. As you quoted her, found somewhere. Um, I want to hear about these two dogs. You're a dog. You're guy that a dog that has two names. What in the hell? You said something earlier and I was like, man, he sounds like he's riffing on a back Georgia road country song. You went on that for about 10 seconds and you named a dog Hodges Piper. I'm like, what the hell is this guy that I'm about to talk to? What does he have going on? Yeah. So I'll give you the Hodges Piper story. Since that, that bio has been written, have a third dog named Sammy. He's a, so Hodges Piper comes from the ditch and Sammy comes from the ditch.

1:09:39 We like to say in my family that two of the dogs come from the ditch like me and the others bougie like my wife, Heather. Hodges Piper, were, were speaking of a country road, uh going to Macon, Georgia. Not many people will know where that is to a country song, country concert. We're on this back country road called Hodges Farm Road. We're driving by a drain pipe and I see this little black head and I'm like, did you see that? And Heather goes, what are you talking about? The puppy and the drain pipe on a country road? She goes, yeah, I saw that. So of course I stop and I go to this little pipe and this little dog, he must weigh three pounds. And he's just giving me the business thinking he's like, he's going to chew my arm off.

1:10:22 I'm like, my goodness. So I get back in the car, Heather goes out and tries to get him out of the pipe to come to us. And she, just runs right up to it. So clearly a guy had done something to him in some way, but we reached out to all our friends were like, do we name him Hodges after Hodges farm road, or do we name him Piper after living? He was living in a pipe and they came up with Hodges Piper. And so we came up with Hodges Piper. So that guy came from Hodges farm road, living in a pipe. And now he is 11 years old and he is as you, my friends, family, significant other wife, and uh Erica would say he's my soul animal. Apparently when I'm grumpy, he's grumpy. Apparently when I'm happy, he's happy.

1:11:05 um So what country music were you going to listen to? Guy named Sturgill Simpson. Dude, I was about to say, don't tell me this was Sturgill Simpson. I'm serious. I'm doing better, not interrupting. I was about to say, that sounds like a Sturgill Simpson moment. Yep. Yep. For sure. And let me tell you, it was at Macon. Now the guy's probably selling out stadiums now, but it was in Macon, Georgia. was probably 250 people there. Back in the day. Back in the day. Well, it was exactly almost 11 years ago. think think Hodges is getting ready to be 11. think it was 11 years ago. So, yeah. Uh, about that approximate, timeframe, but yeah, he was a nobody and he's going to visit my, my brother-in-law and his future ex-wife.

1:11:50 Awesome. sounds like Sturgill. It was like he was living his songs, man. I'm on a Sturgill Spotify, Sturgill Simpson music Spotify journey right now. So, yeah. So what are you guys, what are you trying to do? What are you refocusing on your business um with everything you've learned and garnered and the successes and the life you've lived here at 51? You still have a full season to go. For sure. Right. So you have a whole quarter of this thing still to go and to probably be productive and grind. What are you dreaming of? What do want to do? What we're dreaming of is for this business is I'd love to get, there's three or four key people. So we've got this boutique hotel, restaurant and lodge.

1:12:32 There's three or four, there's two people there in particular, and there's two or three people on the legendary side is let's get them into a position of facilitation, a leadership, an operational. Let's develop the next level of leaders while continuing to grow our membership, while continuing to grow our exposure, our impact. I'd love to have a couple of more of those boutique lodges. It's very niche what we're doing up here in the North Georgia mountains. Very elevated for this part of the world, for lack of a better word. I love living here. So I'm in a small town in North Georgia, but I love living here. My ultimate goal was from an economic standpoint, a profitability standpoint. This is getting a little technical.

1:13:12 I would love to one day do an ESOP or ESOP to where the next generation takes it. Of course, that has benefit to us, significant benefit to them. then they take it. We have done a nice job over the past three to five years of it's no longer a Tommy Breedlove thing. And that's an, you got to look at your ego there too, and make the men and women, the members, the team, the powers and the wisdom of the community. the masterminds and the team and then their ecosystems and not in the Tommy Breedlove show. So really continue and develop the company of legendary, the company of the mountaintop lodge and bring those, leadership team up.

1:13:53 And then one day say, Hey y'all. Cause I'd like to always have a part in it, but I'd like to also, I don't know why I started building companies in my forties. I don't know why I did that. Um, but I did, but one day really turn it over to them and watch their dreams and just be of counsel. So that's really where we want to go. If you want me to get granular is I would love to do more keynoting, less corporate workshops and consulting on the leadership and culture side and more just building the membership base. Because when we're dealing with the leaders or the aspiring leaders or the entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs or the executives are aspiring, they are touching hundreds of thousands of lives.

1:14:35 Whereas We're only doing the one corporation and it's not scalable. Focusing on our members and growing the membership because then we're talking massive impact because you touch them and they have an aha, business success, leadership life. And then they go have that aha with all their people. That I think from an impact standpoint is my dream, but I also want our people's dream, our dream to live under our people's dream here. Again, we're a small but mighty company. that's where I envision us. That's awesome, I guess we go out here and buy the book to jump into the legendary movement. I'd love that, man. I love that we call it a movement. It's called legendary, but if you're not a reader and my country accent doesn't bother you, I'll read it to you on Audible.

1:15:20 So yeah, please go out and check out the book. You know, come hang out with us at one of our live events, you know, come, come play with us, come shake our hands, come let us hug your neck. Come join one of our two mastermind programs. We'd love to have you, man. If you, if you want to hang out with cool people, doing cool things and cool places where you're always learning, growing, and that's, that's what we do and who we are, man. And so. We're not for everybody, we like our flavor. But yeah, certainly go check out Legendary or I'll read it to you. You're man. Hey, thanks for the time, man. I think you brightened up my day in the midst of my very long work days of, when I get to talk to somebody with energy, you asked purpose like you, man, just with a, with a good juju learned a lot. Um, it makes my day.

1:16:00 It makes me smile a little bit more. Same here, brother. You're just fantastic. Loved our conversation offline. Loved that you met Erica. Loved that you teased my great hair. Mark, what an honor, brother. Keep inspiring daily and I'd love to talk a little offline. I'd love to send you something nice. send me something nice. Mr. Dave knows how to get it to us, man. Here, we're building something here but uh we're I think I'm just getting better, man, because the people that uh the people that I have an opportunity to be around. just get to sit. I just get to sit here and learn this stuff and level up all the time and uh I'm pumped about it. So, offline, let's do let's do some stuff. You're a tall guy though, man. I'm a little short guy at five, nine, or five, ten compared to you. I can tell you guys. Yeah, that's a bunch of crap, man. The world, the world was built to be dominated by Tommy Breed And I was born with the name Breedlove, it's not something I gave myself.

1:16:49 don't believe it. don't believe it. maybe we maybe we could yeah enjoy some time over some Sturgiwell music or something. I appreciate you man. Thanks for coming and impacting us and you guys go out and uh go get you a little more legendary from Tommy. Thank you, brother.